I’m done with this ce

Absolutely agree. The calories are a lot healthier and I feel amazing.

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How was your day Zach?

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Really struggled about 3 o’clock being really bored. Ended up going to eat Mexican and getting another milkshake lol. Made it. But today was hard. Tomorrow I have stuff all day and coach soccer in the evening so it won’t be hard. Day 8. I’ve only been 8 days one other time in the last 10 years. So this is a big deal for me. Thanks for checking in Matt.

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My pleasure friend. Boredom is a devil there - you are not alone :innocent: I get restless when I don’t have things to do so I usually find I end up cleaning or cooking or something - I make a mean batch of chocolate chip cookies - and that passes the time.

There’s a tip that helps with being aware of those situations that are riskier / potentially troublesome (if unaddressed):

HALT

Hungry (for food or for something to do - so being bored is one type of hunger) - if I’m hungry I need to find something to satisfy my hunger.

Angry - if I’m angry I need my anger to be seen and recognized. (Usually the reason we’re angry is because at least from our perspective something isn’t what it should be. It doesn’t matter about right or wrong, the first and important thing is the anger needs to be recognized: we need to feel seen and acknowledged.)

Lonely - I need company (this can be online on TS or an online meeting, or at an in person meeting, or at another social or relationship or family time - just get some time with people who matter to you)

Tired - rest! I need to rest.

If we stay aware of these four things it does a lot to help us stay safe: keep us safe from relapse. (Ignoring these things, neglecting our healthy human needs, is part of what creates relapses. Attending to our human needs in healthy ways is part of that balanced life that is what we want. :innocent:)

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Yep I’ve seen the HALT numerous times. I try to keep that in my mind. The bored and tired are usually my triggers. It’s 3 o’clock. Got some outside work to do and a 12 pack would make that so much better. In reality it doesn’t (and usually doesn’t stop at a 12 pack). And all the consequences that come along with it with my family. The crappy day the next day. I’ve been so much more productive the last 8 days. More confident. Level headed. And the list goes on.

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Keep drinking those milkshakes! You have come a long way!

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Happy for you brother. We are growing, we are all growing, like trees growing new branches, getting our roots down into the ground.

You’re also keeping in touch (at least here - obviously TS is just one of many useful places for keeping in touch and finding community and support - the point is, you’re staying connected and that’s helping you with that human need to be connected). That’s something to feel good about. That’s a moment of growth :innocent:

Good for you brother. I’m happy for you and I’m glad you’re here :+1: :innocent:

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They were mine too (they are mine, present tense, because I know if I don’t stay aware of them I will cause problems for myself).

For me I now use the same rule “I have permission as long as it’s safe and legal”. If I’m tired, it doesn’t matter if A, B, C, etc - me stopping what I’m doing, to rest, is totally legal and safe - and it keeps me safe - so I’m allowed to do it, no matter what.

If anyone challenges that (and they never have so far - no one has confronted me when I take rest - I’m beginning to think me worrying about letting others down is actually more in my head) - if anyone challenged me I would say, ‘I understand. I need some rest. I will pick it up after I rest.’

And how is it today? Still going strong?

This is so true. I know once I started to learn how to channel that energy and attention into more productive things, I felt genuinely better in so many ways, the thought of a drink just lost its appeal.

We are capable of so much more.

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Happy for you Zach. You’re doing really well! Keep on going and check in here much as you can. You’re on a good path. I’m rooting for you!

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It’s getting harder every day. Feel like an explosion is right around the corner. Still. One day at a time

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I always related the way your feeling now to a balloon. The balloon has been filling with restless, irritable, and discontentment and is going to keep filling until you drink. It might let a tiny bit of air out but after that, your filling the same balloon with more restless irritable and discontentment, and all the other garbage feelings that come as a direct result of drinking. I looked at my binges as deflating the balloon. I thought this was a good thing. By doing the work in recovery and working a program of action in the 12 steps of alcoholic anonymous. I have learned that the temporary relief of drinking is no where near as good as the life I have built sober. By living sober, one day at a time the “filling the balloon feeling” I described doesn’t exist anymore. You give your mind and body the much needed time and attention it needs to start filling a different balloon, with love, joy, happiness, and contentment. Don’t get fooled like I did for so many years, thinking “ if I just drink I will feel better right now” doing that Is putting yourself on a path to a steep decline. What are you doing daily to work on your recovery and to enhance your sobriety?

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I thought this applied pretty well here :+1:t3::call_me_hand:t3:

You got this Zach, hold strong.

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Gotta admit, even not being a religious person, the “if they frustrate you, pray for them” thing actually weirdly works for me. I just spend some time consciously wishing them well. Trying to visualize the ways that (even if i’m angry) that I hope they find happiness anyway. Even wish them good luck out loud.

Somehow, I feel better. :man_shrugging: Maybe I can even tolerate them. :joy: One less urge to drink. :+1:

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That is normal. It’s an emotional buildup. It is temporary though: the pressure feeling is that wave of emotion surging up after years of being buried in alcohol.

In sobriety groups there’s support to share about your experience of course and for the emotion stuff it helps to have someone to talk to. “I feel like I’m going to explode” - just find a space you can talk about that.

Any particular thing you want to explode about? Anything that’s irritating you specifically? It isn’t always specific though. Sometimes you’re just f*cking irritated because life is irritating sometimes.

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The other thing is maybe you’re just A) tired and need a break - just some time to not be doing things for people, just rest; and B) grumpy. We all have times when we’re really really irritated.

It’s ok to be tired and to let yourself stop. You don’t have to be doing everything all the time. :innocent:

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Hey so that’s great you’re being honest about the pressure building. Addiction thrives on shame and secrecy so it’s great you can admit that it’s getting harder!
What are you doing daily for your recovery? They say we have to invest as much work into our recovery as into our drinking. Just not drinking or white knuckling it won’t cut it for an alcoholic.
Have you been to meetings? Started reading sober literature? Changed people places and things? Started a journal to engage with yourself?
If it is getting harder, you need to add to your personal recovery program to keep up with the challenge. If nothing changes, nothing changes.

My biggest tools are and were psychotherapy, recovery podcasts and biographies. I felt like there were more ppl out there with my problem and it helped me to see others had walked the walk before. I joined this forum after 3 months or so I think, that also became a strong pillar of my sober life.
You need to be working on the reasons of your drinking, buddy. Get honest with yourself and start admitting what you’re drinking at. For me this took months, even years, for the whole pic to emerge. So it’s ok if it takes time. But engaging with yourself and investing in you, that is a must in recovery.

You can do it. I know you can because I did it. We did it.
Resources for our recovery
Advice for the Newcomer and Constant Relapser

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Two weeks was the worst part for me. Urges, happenings and feelings come and go like a roller coaster. Also you’re in the middle of physical withdrawal. Just hang in there Mr. If it was easy everyone would do it.

With you in spirit @Zach2 :muscle:

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I am so excited for you! Let me know how you’re doing.

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I’m glad it works for you! I found that you don’t need to be a religious person for AA’s principles and teachings to work for you. I am more spiritual. I have a higher power who I choose to call God as it is an easier term to use. I am not officiated with any specific religion. But I do believe in a higher power and find it extremely important in my recovery journey. What works for some, might not work for others, but I have found by practicing a more spiritual way of life, which I learned through AA, my life is getting better day by day. One day at a time :+1:t3::call_me_hand:t3:

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