Hey Mark, this is a wise decision, I commend you. Good for you also to be training and looking after your physical health. This is an asset to recovery work, it is however not the main dish. What can you do to strenghten your recovery? Explore yourself and your reasons why you need to flee reality in booze? There’s much to learn for everyone in your shoes (and mine, same shoes!).
Advice for the Newcomer and Constant Relapser
Good luck and enjoy!
Yeah keep trying.
One day you’ll probably be able to go to concerts again without drinking, and you’ll feel good about it.
I used to drink and smoke a lot at concerts, now I don’t and, surprise, it’s even better!
This is great. You made it to 14 days. You can make it there again and more. Rooting for you.
When Shut up and play the hits came out, I was like “yeah right it’s the last show” ha. Then I saw them twice the following year 
I will never get over James’s quote in the movie “I’m like the Michael Jordan of music” like dude?
Hello.
My name is Dexter.
It’s time to make a list of People, Places & Things.
Two Columns (Promotes/Detrimental to my Sobriety)
Anything in detriment to Sobriety remove it completely (if possible) or begin starving it (slowly remove any resources from it)
Hardship, lest no lasting Change
Thank you, I will do this.
Thank You…when sharing with others, I am actively addressing my shortcomings. We are Here for Another!!!
Same happened to me after day ten? 11? “Oh I can just have one” which then made me anxious so I just drank more. And then bailed on half the show because I felt drunk and anxious and bad about my choice. Bad bad move. Woke up with a lot of regret. I do think it’s possible to keep parts of “old life” going into sobriety if you have the right support system? Or is that also naive? Don’t know but I’m also going to a concert this weekend coming up and I’m bound and determined to do it sober. If I can’t, no more concerts. No more triggers. I wish you luck! Keep posting!
If the parts of your old life that you’re keeping are around alcohol based situations you are probably naive… at least in the beginning. I can be around people drinking now though i kinda prefer not to be at this point. Boredom is a symptom people have in the beginning of sobriety while relearning how to live a healthier life.
So you drank at the last concert, but it’s going to be different this time? I’d go back and read this whole thread again. There’s definitely some useful tidbits here if you are willing to follow them
I did this…I cant remember a darn thing that I missed…no one reminds me or brings up what I missed.
However, you will always remember the summer you took care you!
Great Job!
What is encouraging is the insight you had into your drinking and the fact that you were able to figure what you need to do differently right now.
I have seen a lot of discouraging things lately so I needed to see something hopeful like your posts in this thread.
Well, good luck…and I truly mean that. For me, I was bound and determined to be sober for 25 years…and failed every attempt.
I had to change my life style…that meant missing things in the beginning…such as concerts.
I cant remember what concerts I missed, as their impact on my life was not significant…but I remembered it dawned me…those singers could care less If I was drunk or sober…
When you go, have an exit strategy…what will you do if the cravings hit and you fear that you will cave
Thanks, this thread has helped lots the past few days as well as lots of other things on the forum. I actually feel really relieved that I don’t have to balance my old life and the new one I’m trying to achieve. By just cancelling the lot it’s made things simpler. I just do what I need to do and don’t drink, concentrate on getting better and stop trying to do difficult and dangerous balancing acts.
I dont think I would have made it at 14 days through a concert either. I stuck close to the plan then. Did AA and now Ive been granted freedom if I continue to put the work in.
Man, it’s hard to describe how simpler makes things simpler. Even just accepting “I don’t drink” as a truth.
For so long I tried to hatch plans to try controlling my drinking and stuff. They never worked and only led to lots of screw ups and anxiety.
Accepting “don’t drink” as the goal just removed so much doubt and confusion it was like a weight had been lifted! I do not drink. I’m a non drinker. That’s all!
Good on ya for this! There will be more concerts if we just live to see them.
And I agree with others. With lots of self work I eventually became one not interested in drink. Now I’m more annoyed than tempted when around the stuff and go to some things where others might be drinking. Always keeping an eye out though!
I know you are an active user on here Derek, and i know you are pretty straight to the point and mean well in the advice you give.
However, whenever I see you post I always think back to two years ago when i first got sober and was posting regularly. I remember being quite triggered with a response you gave me. I can’t even remember what it was about it was so long ago, but i do remember that it wasn’t what i wanted to hear in that moment.
My point is not to have a go at you, but to try and remind you that sometimes all people want is a bit of empathy and not an all out reality check. Yes what you are saying is the cold hard truth, but i think sometimes you need to know when to leave it be.
At the end of the day we all decide to take sobriety seriously for ourselves and nobody can make us accept things we aren’t ready to accept. Something i’ve learnt first hand.
The forum is not in short supply of empathy so I’m sure they will get plenty. I give feedback in the same manner in which I receive it. Maybe the feedback I give will be helpful. Maybe empathy will be helpful. That’s up to them to decide
This x10000
My first year, I avoided establishments that served alcohol, and where alcohol was the main centerpiece of the event,
I’m a musician most gigs and venues are bars and clubs, their primary source of revenue you betcha booze. I knew that,
Fortunately I got sober during COVID no one was having gatherings or events, so that was helpful, but it also meant I wasn’t playing live music. So I took a year off, still played more at home, some at the rehab I attended, and things like that, I knew the scene was dangerous for me. So I had to make a mindful choice, do I want instant gratification right now or do I take the long haul. I didn’t go to a bar or venue for a little over a year, my first time going I went with a friend who flat out said if you get uncomfortable let me know we’ll leave, by that point I was comfortable in my sobriety that handling myself and having discipline in a establishment was ok, I was able to watch people get drunk, act like fools, watch guys hit on women and miserably fail, and be like heh, I bet I was just as stupid as a drunk.
Treat your sobriety like an investment. An investment in yourself It’s like the old adage
100k now, or a penny a day that doubles every day for 30 days,
The penny a day is quadruple the 100k after 30 days,
Taking the time off for me paid dividends, I saved a ton of money not drinking. Plus all the money I would have spent on concerts, travel etc, got put to good use And was able to pay off bills plus rebuild my career slowly but surely I’m getting there, I’m shaking the moniker of an unproductive drunk,
Great post mate, I have actually have thought about your method, the investing in yourself. I am gonna miss a few things but hey down the line I’ll have gained so much.