I tried moderating for 25 years. Never worked. I romanticized alcohol. Had stories, talked about the local brews i tried all over the world.
I finally realized…alcohol gave me nothing, but took so much from me. When i finally realized this, my love affair with alcohol ended.
For me, looking at what 861 sober days have given me, there is nothing that drinking 1 beer a day can compare to.
@Yoda-Stevie is exactly right in my experience. I can’t tell you how many times I had a bad night or weekend where my drinking was completely out of control. I would convince myself “Okay this has to stop. From now on, I’ll just drink beer.” Or “I can’t keep getting drunk and staying drunk on all my days off, so I’m just going to drink twice a week.”
Yeah, that never works. It led to many failed promises to my wife, and almost ruined our relationship and my health.
I just posted this yesterday on a different thread somewhere here, but the best advice anyone has given me in my early sobriety was “You can’t have just one, so get that out of your head.”
I don’t do AA or anything like that and I have no experience with addiction before so it was important for me to hear that.
Welkom Kevin. In my experience, once somebody lands here, once somebody becomes aware he or she has a problem with alcohol, there is no turning back. Whatever you want to call it, it is progressive and the only cure is total abstinence. I totally recognise what you are saying about adoring the combination between drinks and food. I am pretty sure though you will be better able to taste what you are eating without being under the influence. And once I made the conscious decision not to drink any more, not drinking became much easier for me. Last couple of good restaurants I visited, I smelled the wines of my table partner. Worked well for me. I really don’t like the alcohol no more or the effect it has on me. It’s a matter of mindset. Success.
Your first sentence says it all, I think. There is life without it!
I am back after 6 months sober and a hard relapse. I had convinced myself, yet again, that I could moderate my drinking and be “normal”. I failed again miserably.
This is a popular topic here!! And welcome!! Great questions to consider. There is another recent thread you may find helpful…
My first real attempt to slow down
And also these threads may help…
How often did u try moderation before realising it wasn't working? (if that is ur situation)
Nederbelg… 12 jaar aan de juiste kant van de grens nu… nu nog die alcohol grens… 
If you’re asking yourself that question then it’s a high probability that for you, moderate drinking is probably not possible. Although I do have some military buddies that do it after they’re extreme drinking days. This is only my opinion, I don’t fear alchohol, I don’t fear anything. When I hear people say they avoid going out or even avoid going to establishments that serve alchohol on the menu, I honestly think they have a bigger problem emotionally then Alcholism. I don’t believe in preaching to people either, the fact that I became a fat binge drinking alcoholic was not alchohol’s fault, it was because I let my mind become weak. But to each their own. Could I possibly have a scotch and then walk away? Yes. But why am I drinking that scotch in the first place? To relax? To escape? To NOT feel life’s emotions or recognize it’s problems? Could you drink moderately? Yes, but moderation has blurred lines, often created by the drinker him or herself. I know “moderate” drinkers that are obviously alcoholics, but they have created their own comfort zone to make them feel better. Which moderate drinker are you likely to be? Just rambling in my head lol. Good luck.
I had been so envious and jealous of those “regular” drinkers that seem able to pick it up only on weekends or at dinners but until one day I sat back and had a sobering thought. Their lives so often revolve around stories of alcohol induced “fun” and I realized that they aren’t moderating at all.
Pictures of “fun” always had beer in them. The incredible amount of comments on social media around requiring that glass of wine. The tv ads, my God!, there’s as many pushing alcohol as there are advertising addiction and recovery services…
I agree with @latinlion84, the lines of moderation are often blurry.
I am choosing sobriety and clarity in my life.
Whatever you choose, good luck to you @Dutchbelgian, you know we’re all here to share in your successes and prop you up when you need it.
No
Nope
Nada
Nyet
If you think your a have a drink prob then maybe you should stop , i dont have any success stories on people ive known going back to moderate drinking , only you can tell if your a alcoholic if you are then stopping i suggest , but if you continue moderate drinking i wish you well what ever you decide .
There came a point where I basically had to “sit down” with myself and have the discussion that the thought process of moderation was pure bullshit. In the beginning it was tough. Lots of prayer, lots of keeping myself busy finally got me to the point where I could see sobriety was where i needed to be.
Je bent naar de juist plek gekomen! Dit forum is echt geweldig
Nope… sorry
My credentials are trying that for 5 years, and failing miserably
I have somewhat of a success story, and my previous drinking habits and lifestyle is pretty similar to yours with the exception of traveling the world.
I’ve never been a daily drinker and in the past I would go weeks between drinks and had countless days where I would only have a beer or two. In 2017 I was consistently in the gym 5 days a week at 4:30 am and I was cycling a minimum of 3000 miles a year. I had cut out all weekday drinking. Well the weekends would roll around and it got to the point where I would just over do it. Countless blackouts and I just got tired of the hangovers. So I quit, for 8.75 months.
Then I had the thought, can I moderate?
The answer was yes, I did, for almost 2 years. There were many weekends where I would go to a restaurant, have 2 beers with dinner, and be fine when I got home, no desire to keep drinking. Other times I would pick up a couple of 4 packs of the latest craft beers, have one of each and be good for the night.
So why did I eventually fall back into old habits and then some? That’s an answer I’m still looking for and I definitely have some better ideas as to why.
I’ve just finished reading This Naked Mind and alcohol really screws up your brain and especially the dopamine response as well as decision making. So while it’s possible to have one or two again, over time your brain builds tolerance again and it takes more and more to get that pleasure. It took me two years to get back to that point, some may only take a month, some may be there with that first drink, hell some may never get back to that point.
It’s going to be a gamble no matter how you look at it. So it’s up to you if you’re wanting to go down that road.
I can honestly say though that I feel 137% better now than I have in the last 2 years, so it’s asinine to even entertain the idea of drinking alcohol again. Do I miss the buzz? Absolutely, BUT! It’s about what I want more in the end.
A good quote I see on Reddit is: “getting drunk tonight is stealing happiness from tomorrow”.
So good luck on your journey, we’re all in this together.
Short and sweet answer No… for me anyways like many others one is never enough and more than one is too many.
Hi. I’m 41 also, big drinker most of my life also. You know you better than anybody. If it is possible for someone else, it may not be for you. Don’t risk it. Congrats to those who can drink like a gentleman, but gotta face the truth, if you have to question it, don’t even try. Good luck amigo.
This is an ultimate question. I tried it of course like probably every single one of us. I could drink moderately for months, I could even go to the bar, have only two beers, go back home and not even have another one, or I could refuse a cold one for lunch when everybody around was having it. I’ve done that and I was proud of myself. Until the day came when I totally lost control. Some rehab centers nowadays are trying to not exclude social drinking with Naltrexone. You would have to do research about modern rehab treatments
Copy and pasted from something I wrote to someone last night. It hasn’t changed
I always tell new people around here the same thing. That is that no amount of sober time will ever make us able to drink like a normal person. Period! This has been proven more times than anyone could ever count. There are countless stories on this forum of folks that have tried to prove this fact wrong. All they got was right back where they started. drunk and heartbroken
So right now you are doing great! Keep it up. Just be wary of thinking that you were sober for a bit and you can control it now. That way only leads to failure for folk like us.
Best wishes