Kevin's accountability log

Congratulations! Running a compliance department for a mortgage company, I definitely understand how much goes into that process. So stressful!

What an awesome accomplishment!

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Congrats @KevinesKay. You’re all grownup and stuff :grin:

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My husband and I get sooooo overwhelmed at Home Depot. Seems there is a rite of passage of home ownership to become a Home Depot regular.

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I’m like a squirrel there. Can’t focus on one direction or one project. I want it all done yesterday.

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That is awesome @KevinesKay!! Congratulations!

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My husband and I even stopped at Home Depot right before dinner on our date tonight. It’s a sickness! Lol

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Thanks you everyone for the warm responses.:slight_smile:

This has been a very amazing three months. The encouragement I get here truly changes me into a more positive person. And it’s contagious too.

I think my favorite saying is, “You got this!”

It’s a phrase not used often in the sex addition community. Oftentimes, I find members feeling down and everyone around them is participating in the misery.

Sayings like, “Oh, this is so hard. I can’t do this.” It can get someone down. And instead of advice, sometimes a little encouragement goes a long way. Sometimes, someone just needs to hear, “You got this!”

Well, I happened to pass some of that encouragement to my other sites. And it’s growing. I just witnessed a member there encourage another with amazing words along with the phrase, “You got this!”

There is an energy there that I have not seen in years. And I must admit that all of you here on Talking Sober played a big role in that. Thank you. Please forgive me from missing a few days. It’s just that I’ve been busy on the other forums. Didn’t expect that. The new energy has increased the activity tenfold. Thanks to you guys again. Lol.

Got lots of work to do, but it’s so rewarding. Got to share my to-do list and love challenge for the week. But let me catch up on some posts, and I will be back.

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To-do list time.

06/11/17
Prayer. 5
Bible. 5
Worship. 2
Floss teeth. 5
Podcast. 6
Clean. 4
Finances. 3
Workout.
Family. 3
Read with girls. 1
Outreach. 1
Forum. 5
Wife. 1
Work. 1

42

I made some adjustments. My teeth need better care and I’ve been getting behind in paying the bills. Honestly, I get caught into my forums and fail to prioritize my time.

Here is my Love Challenge results.

Love challenge 6/11/17

Tell wife I love her 6

Give compliment. 6

Avoid negative. 3

Unexpected kind. 1

Call from work. 2

Special greet. 4

Pray w/ her. 1

23 points.

Ugh! I’m not proud. Next week, I plan to provide weekdays so we know where I’m falling short. But my wife is still noticing. She’s asking, “Are you doing the love Dare on me again?” Well no, I’m not. I just play dumb.

Sobriety-wise, I’m not even struggling. Still routinely listening to my podcasts. Not wanting to act out one bit. But I’ve been at this long enough to know that it’s a day by day process. And today, I’m choosing to do something different with my life and time. Something that’s more productive than acting out.

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@KevinesKay, That’s totally awesome. Congratulations :purple_heart::hugs:

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I know I’ve been away for several days. I’ve been keeping very busy. I just going back to some basics. My to-do list routine is not where it should be.

I’ve been living unbalanced. Spending too much time on one thing while neglecting others. This past week has been a website I’ve been working on.

Life has been overwhelming. Yesterday, my family had a memorial service for her brother that passed away a year ago. We also had 2 birthday parties, a graduation party, and a baby shower that we attended over the weekend.

And I’m still trying to fix the brakes on my son’s car. After replacing the master cylinder, I must not have bled the brakes right. Because I couldn’t stop as I test drove the vehicle and couldn’t stop when driving into our driveway. I ran over the trash cans, headed down a hill leading to our backyard, ran over the air conditioner, and got stopped by a pole in the ground previously used as a clothes line. :yum:

Everything is ok. But I sure wish I could do a better job getting that car on the road.

Still sober from porn and masturbation, but I lost custody of my eyes and mind over the weekend.

Have a great day everyone!

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@KevinesKay,A jack of all trades that’s awesome you have had alot on you plate, memorials, birthday parties, graduations, mechanic work. Aren’t you tired yet? Do you need a nap? Did you have fun… I hope a little although I know memorials cannot be fun sometimes we just buried my brother-in-law but it is a necessary thing.I hope you have a great week. :thinking:And try not to hit no more trash cans and I wouldn’t drive that car until you got the brakes fixed just a little idea I had​:sweat_smile::purple_heart::grin::four_leaf_clover:

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Hey kevin, I am an alcholic, and an ex pill addict that stumbled upon the NoFap. I have not M for or lookrd at porn in 10 days and befote that i made it about 10 days as well. Its tough sometimes even for me and i dont consider.myself addicted to it but i thought i can give it up and see what happens. Well, i am married and we still have sex but i have noticed that all of a sudden i have been nicer to her and she looks sexier to me than she has in years. I loke this feeling of being of control as well. Well, if you ever need someone to talk to let me know. We’re all in this together!

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Thanks for the kind replies @lizak and @Diesel.

It was a good weekend. I’ll take it. I’m just trying to keep it all together. I have not reaped the benefits of being more sexually attracted to my wife. But I our relationship is improving and I have faith that I’ll regain that part back.

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Well today is day 14 for me and no M or P. I feel really good bout that. I am also on day 3 of a 30 day juice fast. So no alcohol either. Just juice and water. I got home last night after work and was really tired but not too tired for the wife. I must say, it has been a while since it has been this good physically with her. Not sure if is all contributed to the no M or P but I feel like it has to help in that aspect of my life anyway. Well, let me know how you’re doing.

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Nicely done @Diesel. Keep it up!

Please excuse me, everyone, for being away for a few days. I’m keeping very busy. And the each day is amazing! Let me show you something.

Honestly, I feel like it’s just another ordinary day for me. No fireworks, no party. But today is a good day. It’s good because I’m making good choices with my life. And I hope tomorrow will be the same.

Have an awesome sober Thursday everybody!

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Great job @KevinesKay!!!

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I’ve got to share about Sunday. Sunday was so hard. My wife plans for us to attend the annual neighborhood beach party that day after church. “No biggie,” I think. Free food, entertainment, etc.

It was so hard. I made the most of it. But it took everything I got to not pay attention to the women around me that were dressed in a compromising way. They weren’t all trying to get men to stare. It was just a hot sunny day at the beach. And everywhere I turned, it seemed there was an opportunity to get my fix of lust.

They’re not looking for sex

I don’t need to look at them to appreciate their beauty

It’s ubiquitous

I got this

If someone is waving free crack under my nose, it doesn’t mean that I have to take a hit

Saying all these things to myself, I wondered how obvious it was that I was trying so hard not to stare.

Like I had some sort of sign saying, “PERVERT” on my head.

It was horrible. After 7 hours of this, I was exhausted. And wondering how this day was going to affect my well being for the next few days.

And I knew I wasn’t going to have the time to share it to the forum right away.

I’m grateful that my youngest daughter kept me distracted by asking me to push her on the swing for a few hours. And my wife, who’s starting a face painting business, got a chance to brush up on her skills on some of the neighborhood children. I really could not enjoy the moment because the fight to stay clean took all of my energy.

I’m back to normal now. No long term effects to exposure. I guess the saying, “This too shall pass,” rings true. It would appear that I wasn’t very obvious because my wife didn’t show any signs of concern for me.

Chalk up 16 days since I last lost custody of my eyes and mind. And that’s played a key factor on why I’ve not been tempted to use porn and masturbate for quite some time.

But last Sunday was not easy. Don’t want to go through those days ever. But that’s inevitable. Why does it have to be so hard?

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Hey @Melrm I’m a female that’s addicted to porn and masturbation. I think I was in that boat wondering for awhile. But then when I found out about sex addicts and especially watching the movie, um “addicted” (I think that’s the name),I realized sexual addiction in any form isn’t gender specific. Haven’t met/seen any other females with this addiction on here though. But I know I’m not alone.

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Oh thanks. I’ve been wondering about that. I don’t understand it so it’s fascinating to get informed and from different points of view. When did you realize it was a problem? When did the use start?