I’m like you with chips and such. If I have one drink, I’ll have 5. In 30 days I’ll be three years sober. I know I’ll never be able to be a social drinker. I’ve accepted that and it’s ok.
9 Likes
You can’t focus on the rest of your life when it cones to sobriety, friend. That’s way too overwhelming, intimidating, & frustrating for us addicts. Only focus on TODAY. That’s it. 
2 Likes
As you can see from all the advice, there is no such thing as learning to moderate alcohol if you’re an alcoholic. Your brain on alcohol is nothing more than a little devil sitting on your shoulder. When he tells you you want a drink, then starts the desire. It’s a desire that you can’t control because you have a disease.
Sounds like you’re going to miss your title as party animal, but there’s some things you have to choose if you want your life back.
2 Likes
I actually think moderating is harder than quitting
14 Likes
Thanks everyone.
The clarity of the advice has given me strong resolve to cut alcohol out completely.
I’m now on day 3.
While I feel great, I’m still a bit overwhelmed and processing my new life. But as many of you said, one day at a time. I will set a mini goal of 30 days (11 July).
I’m bracing myself for impact when I go home for Christmas. There are many ‘pressure drinkers’ in my family (whom you can’t get rid of unlike friends…) so I’m thinking of how I will deal with that.
7 Likes
How often did u try moderation before realising it wasn’t working? (if that is ur situation)
Not to plug my own thread, but this is where I worked out how many times I tried to ‘moderate’ ‘control’ ‘drink normally’. It was a lot. I finally realized I have more chance of pooping chocolate, quite frankly, than being able to drink like a normie. It is ok, I can’t do handstands, speak Swahili either. Alcohol is one kind of beverage. I can drink others. When I miss the “sociality” I remind myself that forgetting conversations, slurring and over-sharing, falling over, etc, damage relationships more than make them closer. I remind myself that trying to control myself after one or two drinks is exponentially harder than saying no to the first drink. And I want an easy life! Sober is easier. And less shameful.
13 Likes
For me (and I’m imagining others too?) there is nothing sad about this revelation. Full acceptance comes with sorrow for all the pain we’ve felt and caused. It also comes with great liberation and calm. Coming to the reality that sober life was my only option was freeing. It was a celebration. I didn’t have to do all the calculations and thinking and justifying. I could devote all that time to being healthy and loving myself for who I am, flaws and all. Friends and family, if they are worth their salt, will respond to healthy changes with love and admiration. You fearing their response and losing their admiration and support is an excuse to just stay in this cycle you already recognize is troubling. So is your sadness about losing a lifestyle that caused you to download this app. Sobriety is a mindset as much as it is a change in lifestyle and routine. There is nothing sad about it. It is bold, difficult, praiseworthy, gutsy, and immeasurably rewarding.
12 Likes
That’s a long, long time away, that’s called future tripping. You’ll have to remain sober 1 day at a time for over 6 months just to be in that scenario. IF you make it there your sobriety will be much stronger so don’t worry about the current version of yourself having to deal with that.
You certainly can get, and remain sober. It takes being all in, %100 committed to living a ODAAT life. Best wishes to you.
14 Likes
Amen, @Starlight14 ! I was just explaining to my hubs how much harder it was for me to moderate. Caused So Much Anxiety to have to wait till a certain hour, try to spread them out, sip rather than drink… be pissed when I came to what I told myself would be the last, beat myself up when it wasn’t… BS! All of it! I LOVE my sober life! I’ll bet you do too. 
You will too, @ducksauce88. Day 3- Easy does it. You got this! We are right here with you. 
3 Likes
So, I’ve set myself an initial 30 day goal, which ends 11 July.
I just found out that that happens to be the exact day my mum flies half way around the world to visit.
What a coincidence!
Looking forward to feeling bright, energetic and for her to see me living my best life…
Huge thanks to everyone here for your messages of advice, support and encouragement.
I’m sorry I can’t reply to all of you individually but please know that I am very grateful.
12 Likes
Keep us posted on how it goes!!
3 Likes
Coincidence?! I think not! That’s fantastic, lady!
1 Like
I constantly felt pissed off/irritable/on edge/anxious/annoyed when someone would hold my stuff for me. I’d write a note that said when I was allowed to have it & sign it. Could be in 2 weeks or 1 week. I would also constantly argue with the person holding my stuff bc of course I’d be like, “I changed my mind,” daily. I’d even try to manipulate them into giving it to me & I’d search for it. This is obviously a worse way of living than just being sober. What a horrible existence. I’d be counting the days down every day. Yuck.
5 Likes
I want this too and I hope I can get there. I am new and today is day 1 again. 
8 Likes
It’s not day 0 Kimberley. You’re here. You’re not alone and it’s one day at a time for us all. Hang with us. Congrats on making the decision to be sober. x
3 Likes
This is fabulous but pretty please once the 30 days are up have a next plan so as not to think well ive done it now or your cured of drinking and can now moderate since you did 30 days…remain vigilant as that voice will tell you anything to suck you back in
4 Likes
Thanks very much for the tips. Yes you’re so right.
I’ve done ‘dry’ months before and they had a minimal effect on my usual drinking habits in the long-term.
It just shows that alcoholism is deeply wired. No magic bullet!
3 Likes
Very true but as you go along youl see that although its hard sobriety will keep showing you and giving you little gifts as you go along its all really quite an eye opener…try your best to really believe in what your doing and these will keep becoming apparent just try to spot them by keeping a gratitude journal, getting to know yourself more, what you enjoy, what makes you happy and do those more…i have actual lists on my phone of these, its not easy but i can tell you with certainty that its worth it
1 Like
Such good advice!
I love what you said about sobriety “offering you little gifts along the way”. It’s a marathon not a sprint.
What I do is to make a mental note of the benefits and how good I feel when I’ve gone x days/weeks without drinking:
I feel so much sharper and clearer mentally, quicker, more energetic, better sleep, clearer skin etc. Not to mention, better bank balance!!
When I get discouraged or tempted to drink, I fixate on these things.
6 Likes
Thats brilliant, your life doesnt have to come to a stand still just because you dont drink, quite the opposite…alot of this sober carry on is mindset…if you think its gonna be hard and total drudgery then it most likely will be, instead why not embrace it to its fullest. You will inevitably get good days and bad but isnt that just life anyway? Remember that we are all here for you on hard days and reach out because we all do this together
4 Likes