Hi Olive - lovely to meet you. Welcome to the community.
Our addictions do take over our lives and lead to many bad decisions and consequences. Grateful that you are here working to become sober.
I know that it was a hard road and i could not have done it without support. This is a great community where you can receive genuine support and great advice. Do you have any other forms of support around you in real life? Are you planning to go to AA or any other recovery meetings?
It can be scary and hard at the beginning so please do lean on us and ask questions 
Take some time to read around and soak in some of the posts.
a few threads that might be helpful to you…
Checking in daily to maintain focus #61