Nope, lack of clarity is not a trigger for my DOC. The only thing that may slightly effect it is work stress but that is fading.
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Oof. Yeah. That makes sense. The lack of a direction can be really frustrating and confusing.
Separation can stink.
My dog was super sick.
Went to the vet er and heās on fluids and stuff. Not feeling great.
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May your dog get well soon.
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Oh no poor pooch! It is just horrible when they get ill. I hope you can give him lots of fluffy cuddles 
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I love him so much.
Btw, Trigger Warning-- talk of self harm urges and thinking of drinking. Please donāt hate me for how stupid and offensive all my thoughts are.
This whole week has just been really hard. Iāve been really really wanting to cut. Itās been hard. I keep trying to make excuses and idk. Itās not great. I havenāt yet. And Iām going to try not to. Itās just hard to fight it when Iām struggling so much. And I donāt want anyone to know Iām struggling cause they freak out. And idk. My mind just keeps going to that soothing feeling of blood going down my arm. Itās like I canāt control it.
Iāve been wanting to try alcohol. I havenāt had any since I was little cause I thought it was gross. But then I think that if I drink now, it would be an unhealthy coping method. Plus Iām scared Iād get addicted cause Iāve been addicted to 2-3 things. So yeah.
Idk. Iām just really having a hard time rn.
Oh also, btw, my dog will be ok, but Iām still all shaken up.
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Kaki I never used to reach out when I had thoughts or impulses to use drugs as I thought this ā well I know I shouldnāt use and somebodyās only going to tell me that etc etc. Then I came here and Iām told to never crave alone and it works, even though I know not to do something I absolutely need somebody to tell me to Sort my head out and not be stupid.
Now Iām not saying you need to sort your head out or saying your stupid but if you can find someone that understands these impulses who you can talk to them it will help when your having these thoughts. There will be somebody who understands I guarantee it. 
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Lol yeah. I donāt think I know anyone who gets it though. Idk.
Thank you. I like the smiley face lol
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Iām a freaking idiot. I canāt read
I have to read everything like 3 times, maybe more, to understand it. So I basically canāt real. I was supposed to read a 180 page book for English and only got up to 80 cause I read so slow. And now Iām failing.
And I also now hate myself. So yeah. Iām struggling. Iām wanting to cut but not wanting to tell anyone. Itās hard and idk. Iām really mad at myself for being so tired and awful.
Also im thinking of going to an open as meeting to see what itās like. So yeah. Might be interesting.
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Is anyone here?
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Making supper, but Iām around here and there for the time being. 
Whatās up?
Sounds really frustrating. I know itās kinda automatic for you to be mad at yourself for things, but I hope you can remember that feelings are just that. You donāt get to choose how you feel, it just happens, so not much sense in blaming yourself for it. You only get to choose how to get through the feelings.
For sure, could be quite interesting! If you do go, Iād be interested in hearing how it goes
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Hi dear,
good on you for reaching out here for support and sharing 
Ya know something thats really helped me, is when my friend told me that words have power. Overtime, I started to listen to the words I was using, to speak about myself and to myself. Not just in general, but all the time. This includes my thoughts too. I was always so harsh/hard on myself 
calling myself an idiot or stupid or a failure, or not good enough. I realised, I would NEVER speak to my friends like this or anyone I cared aboutā¦ so why am I speaking to myself this way!!! Even if I believed it to be true, itās still not nice to say and give power to these words. So, I decided, itās time to start be aware of what Iām saying to myself, the words Iām using. And if theyāre not kind, then I stop myself from saying it and TRY to actually say something nice instead. What are some things you like about yourself or that youāre good at?can you share them with me? 
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Yes.Yes.Yes!! 
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I know. Thatās why I wanted to talk about it cause actually telling someone it mds me realise itās stupid lol.
Yeah, idk if I will, cause anxiety, but I definitely want to try
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Yeah, Iāve been thinking of that too, but I just have no faith in myself so I feel like why change them. Then I realise thatās part of why I have no faith j nmyself and itās a whole cycle lolš
Man, thatās true. Iāmma try that
Iām good with my puppy. Iām good at baking. Iām good at math. I like my hair. I like my sense of style.
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Donāt forget the music and the art! 
Been doing much singing/song writing lately?
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Beautiful! Hereās a lil challenge for you, everyday come on here, or write in a journal or notes on your phone, 3 things that you like/love about yourself or your life or about your day. And, please repeat this phrase to yourself as many times in a day as you can remember - āI HAVE FAITH IN MYSELFā 
even write that down too, over and over!
Just a little reversal of some words you used in your reply to me above.
We all deserve happiness darling, even you and I, but we got to know that and offer it to ourselves first. Happiness always attracts more happiness
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True. Thanks!
Iāve sung some. And I played a little bit a few weeks ago for mindfulness in group. That was really cool. I havenāt been writing a ton. College applications due in 2 days, plus school, plus work. Iāve been stupidly busy. But Iām gonna share some of my recent graphic design projects once I get them onto my phone.
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Iāll probs do it on here. I have a new journal, but I donāt like paper, so I only use it sporadically.
Ok, so three things I like: my hair, my strength (inside and out), how much I care about everything
And having faith in myself. I got you.
Aww, I like that. Thank you! That legit made me cry and made my day all in one, lol. Youāre really awesome and kind. Thanks!
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