Glad you reached out.
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Yeah. It was mad helpful.
Iām now about to get a haircut and am scared theyāre going to judge me lol.
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The whole depression thing is currently causing every symptom except the sadness. But now Iām depressed cause of all the symptoms. Itās mad annoying. Idk why but my brainās been going to sh way too much lately. I havenāt and wonāt do it, but itās like taken over my brain.
This is a weird story/ free verse poem about my experiences which I wrote earlier today to explain what I was feeling:
I feel like Iām standing alone in the desert on the edge of a cliff.
Iām alone and scared and donāt know what to do.
I want to scream. But I know it will make me tired and prolong my journey.
I also know that if I scream, nothing will happen and no one will care.
But perhaps someone on a different cliff in a different part of the desert will hear the echoes of my screams and know they can scream out too.
Or hear the echoes and have the same scream and they will merge and continue to grow.
In 31 hrs I have to start admitting that Iām super depressed and havenāt been able to do anything because my brain just canāt handle it. Iāll have to face the consequences of what I did (or rather didnāt do) before break.
Why whatās happening in thirty one hours m8? 
How was the haircut - hopefully judgement free!
Break isnāt over yet mate. There is still time to catch up on a few bits. It might not all get done but giving it a go will make you feel better than spending a day beating yourself up about what you havenāt done. Just one thing at a time. Give your first task a go for five minutes and see how you get on with it. If you canāt, well at least you tried 
Edit, I am actually going to take my own advice today, I have a very long to do list that I have totally ignored for the last week or so!
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Oh, Iām going back to school lol
It was good. She actually complimented the color lol.
Yeah. The whole depression thing is for some reason making my brain really bad.
Yeah, Iāmma try to just work on one source for like 5 minutes. Then continue from there.
Good for you!!! Get some stuff done lol!
Feeling a wee bit worthless lol. Itās mad annoying.
Currently having my third panic attack of the day and itās for the stupidest reason. Iām panicking Iāve the plantars warts I have. Itās mad annoying. Itās so stupid. They just hurt now and then and it Spurs a panic attack cause theyāre not going away and I feel gross.
Feeling lonely.
We are all here, I just been sober for 6 days. Belive me I feel alone in a room full of people until I realize the people are my loved ones. One hour at the time. 
So how did you get on the other day, manage to make a dent in your work? And howās the anxiety going?
Thanks lol.
Yeah, true. This week was really bad. Last block on Friday, I had a weird panic attack for no reason during graphic design. I had to leave and I just sat there in my liasons office. I couldnāt talk or think or move. I hate when people see that. I also couldnāt hear cause that requires brainpower and my eyes unfocused. So Iām mad tired and lonely after those.
I hate when people see those. They only have twice and Iām always scared theyāll freak out. Idk. Thats a huge part of why I feel alone.
Anyways, if you got through all that, thanks for reading, and also thanks for being here!
I started it. Read about one source. I think I lost all my notes cause the site I was writing them in crashed so I might have to do it all again.
Oh yeah, didnāt finish that last part. The anxiety is still super bad. Which is still annoying lol.
But guess what!!???
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Did you guess lol?
Noodle, the giant black dog, is coming to stay with us!!! Sheās such a sweetheart and will lay on top of my when Iām anxious and honestly it makes me feel so much better, so Iām really excited. Like really excited. I love her so much.
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I have an idea. Iāve always wanted a tattoo but Iām super scared by everything lol. But once Iāve gone 5 years without self harm, if I still want one, Iām going to get a semicolon either behind my ear, on my wrist, or on my waist. Idk. Might be a cool mile marker.
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When does Noodle arrive?!