We don’t have paracetamol here in the US. @Kakimime1… Paracetamol is the same as Tylenol. It’s an acetaminophen. Unfortunately, over the counter paim meds don’t work for me bc I abused prescription pain meds for way too long. Can you call your doctor? Maybe they have other suggestions.
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Yeah. True. Unfortunately, having tried the major things, I’ve never had one work. Like at all. It’s quite frustrating.
It’s really strange. Caffeine does nothing but make me sick. OTC pain relievers do nothing. Idk. Maybe there’s something wrong with me? Who knows?
Hmm. Interesting. Yeah, I’ll call my doctor after this whole corona thing is done, lol😆
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I realized something. Two days ago, I went for a super long walk, went to the store, cooked food, played a board game, etc. Then the day after (yesterday), I slept the entire day. So I’m starting to realise that activity makes me tired through the next day. Which is interesting. Well see how I feel tomorrow. I mowed the lawn today.
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I’ve been having bad flashbacks. It’s really frustrating. The other day I had one that started with the taste. It was really bad. Idk why, but as I’ve been home a lot, I’ve been having more flashbacks.
I also realized how much I’ve been avoiding certain parts of the house. And how I distract myself when I have to be in those areas.
It’s been a really hard time. I’m also dealing with a lot of “imposter’s syndrome” rn. I worry that I’m not “bad enough” to have PTSD. I worry that because I’m not diagnosed yet, the disabling fatigue I experience isn’t valid. Idk. I’m just really in flux right now. It’s a really hard time.
I just can’t move forward in my health journey right now. And because we don’t have a diagnosis, my mom still thinks exercising will fix it. If it was labeled. If I could point her to research on my disorder. If I could say, look: there’s scientific explanations for why I really can’t just fix it. If I had an explanation, this would be so much easier. I’m just so frustrated because I can’t show her that “look. You don’t understand. You don’t know anything about this. Research. Learn. Then speak. And trust me when I tell you how I feel because that’s how people with ________ feel.”
Sorry this is so selfish and I understand why I can’t go to the doctors rn. I get it. It’s just frustrating.
That does sound frustrating!
A suggestion, if you haven’t tried already… How about trying to bring your mum into it? Be open to her suggestions. Show her you’re trying and tell her how it goes afterwards. Let her see the impact. Do a journal and share the entries or write it with her. Or whatever, not necessarily that exactly, but try and help her understand?
As and when you can get to the doctors that will be super useful for a diagnosis too!
Until you’ve got a diagnosis try not to focus on whether or not it’s bad enough etc. Be where you are, observe it, document it. Learn about it (and teach your mum).
Of course you know your situation best but I have found when I stop being resistant to my mum and look at her intentions, rather than her actions, it helps me respond better. Often still very frustrating… But I’m not always the easiest person to be around (none of us are!).
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I’m sad! I’m sad I can’t help my mom right now. Im frustrated to see such a strong woman be so broken. It sucks that I’m letting her dump all her shit on me. I want to be supportive of her especially during her divorce but I feel like I’m drowning in her bullshit. I’m just over 2 months sober and this isn’t helping me because all I can think of is having a drink and not feel.
Hmm. Yeah. I have tried to explain and show it to her. But yeah. I’ll try.
Yeah. I know it’ll take a while, but it’s better than not moving forward.
Yeah, true. Usually in the moment I’m too tired to document, but I’m trying to do it after.
Yeah. I do understand her intentions. But she doesn’t. It’s very frustrating. Haha yeah, I know I’m not the easiest to deal with. I get it. But it’s still just so annoying to me. But I do tend to try to see the other side.
Thanks mate
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My dad got an email from my graphics teacher. About my missing assignments. It was clearly addressed to me. But the school apparently has his email not mine. And now I keep getting talked at from him. And every time I explain that I’ve been working on stuff and that I can manage myself, he ignores it and wants me to prove it and make a fucking schedule. And I just want to die. And it’s hard. I can’t deal with quarantine. Honestly idk if I can make it past another week of this. And it’s 4 more weeks.
And so my choices are:
- Going numb like I used to and just be a dick all the time and not feel
- Killing myself
- Sleeping more
- Punching him
- Sitting in my car all day
- Self harm
- Getting to the point in my depression where I hate myself enough to think I deserve everything I’m experiencing.
Or a combo.
I don’t want to die. I don’t want to go numb. I don’t want to hurt myself. I don’t want to hate myself. But I CAN’T hit my dad. The sleeping more or sitting in the car are better. But I can’t charge my laptop in the car. And if I sleep all the time, I can’t do my schoolwork. And both of those are kind of what I’m doing now. Hance why I haven’t done much schoolwork.
So I’m not doing great. And I’m scared to tell anyone. And I can’t see this ever feeling any better.
Hey, I hear you. You sound to me like you’re feeling pretty overwhelmed, and that’s understandable given the situation. Strong emotions have a tendency to change our perspective on things, so I’m glad to see you’re still identifying the better options and minimizing harm even though you feel how you feel. If you do start feeling like you want to die or kill yourself, call for help, okay? There are hotlines as well as the emergency number in your country if you need to go to the hospital. You can call crisis hotlines preventatively, too. Talk if you need to talk before you even get to a crisis. Anyways we’re here too, just thought I’d remind you there are pros who can help in ways we can’t.
I know it’s said a lot, maybe too much, but do try to take it one day at a time. A week of something is hard to imagine getting through. A day is a little bit easier. I’ve got no clue myself how to get through the whole quarantine, but I know how I can manage this weekend.
Sometimes when I have a lot of stuff bothering me, it helps me to write it down, every thought. I used to be afraid that would just make me think more about it, but it turns out that for me the opposite happens. It’s like my brain is worried it’s going to forget to deal with things so it keeps refreshing them, bringing each thought to the top of the stack in turn, so my attention is constantly cycling through all these negative thoughts. When it’s written down, the thought comes up and I’m able to move on to another thought right away, because I know it’s written down so it can’t be forgotten, so I can come back to it whenever I want. It doesn’t need to keep being brought to the top of the stack over and over anymore. Do you think that’s something that would help you?
I also am wondering if there’s a way you can help your dad understand how all this is making you feel, and what he can do to support you.
You are doing okay. You are still here doing your best and that is all anyone can ask.
Remember to breathe, too. 
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Oh mate that is such a sad list to read. I’m sorry you feel so hopeless right now.
I can only imagine how frustrating things are for you at the moment, god I can remember how hard it was living with my parents when I had school and a social life to distract me.
Can I offer up an alternative list?
- Take dogoo out for a walk, assuming that is acceptable under quarantine where you are (and depending on what time of day you read this
) - Do some breathing exercises and come back to now
- Show your Dad you are on top of things, just show him the work you’ve done and say when you expect to hand the work in
(I totally get this is not ideal because you don’t want him micro managing you but can you do this in a way that’s more on your terms? E.g. once a week at a set time you give him a brief update of what you’ve done this week and your top 3 priorities for the next week? Or whatever. Show him that he doesn’t need to be on your case about it… Honestly at 18 or 19 I would not have wanted to do this so understand if you’re thinking oh fuck off
But it is a sensible suggestion in the interests of making things run smoothly so I’m putting it out there.) - Contact school and make sure they have your email address so they contact you for updates on your work in future
- Fluffy cuddles with the doggo
- Keep checking in here and reaching out
- Call Samaritans in your local area, they will listen
It is a very strange time and I think things might yet get stranger, but we are all going through it together. We will come out the other side of stronger, you got this! 
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Thank you. I’m trying not to harm myself in any way, especially physically. I will call if I need to. I’m just scared to tell my therapists because I don’t want to have to tell everyone I’m worse again.
Yeah. I will. It’s a good reminder, even if it is said a lot. Yeah, you’re right. I can get through one day. And if I can keep getting through one day, I can be okay.
Hmm. Interesting. It could help. But I don’t like paper. I might do a phone one. I might do voice memos cause I am sometimes too tired to write.
I’m not sure. He doesn’t tend to admit others have feelings or admit he’s wrong. He does it with my mom too. I just don’t know how to show him.
Thank you:blush:
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I know. I’m not doing too great.
Parents are annoying lol😄
- Yeah, I’ve been walking him a lot. Not the past two days though🙁 It’s been raining nonstop. Ughhhh. He hates rain. It’s honestly kind of cute.
- Good idea!
- I have shown him my projects and told him about them. But it’s frustrating. I don’t understand how I have to qualify my time and my work with someone who has no control or understanding about it. I might try. He just tends to interrogate and stuff even if people are trying to reach out for him. It’s annoying. But you’re right. I might try.
- Turns out they did email my school email so they probably did intend to email my dad, I guess.
- Yes!!!
- Will do.
- I have a text hotline that’s really good. I like the RAINN one and there’s another one but I can’t remember what it’s called lol.
Thank you! I really appreciate y’all responding. This is really helpful. Thank you.
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Hi y’all. My foot and elbow are hurting. It’s mad annoying lol. And my mom wants me to help her gardening. Ughhh.
Been dealing with some PTSD and I can’t explain it to my family cause they don’t know. Oof. Idk.
Also panic attacks and anxiety attacks over the world.
Extreme depression. I hate pms. I wish I had no period. Idk. Ughhh. And I’m scared to tell anyone I’ve been thinking about suicide. I don’t want anyone to know. They’ll overreact. I’m not going to do it. I’m not suicidal. It’s just plaguing my thoughts. But if I tell anyone they’ll assume I need to go to the hospital or something. Idk. Ughhh.
Tw: sex and stuff
Have any of you experienced this?
So we’re quarantined. (Duh.) So it’s not like I’m having sex. I mean I wasn’t before (my bf lives hours away).
But ya know how you can do stuff on your own and whatever. Yeah. So okay. Whenever I do that stuff, I always feel gross. After, I feel nauseous and anxious and idk whym it’s not like a flashback or memories or anything. So idk why. It’s not fair. Maybe it’s societal guilt. Maybe it’s a lighter version of PTSD, idk. But it’s hard and frustrating and I feel awful. And it’s not fair. I shouldn’t feel ashamed or gross or sad for just being a semi-normal person. Why am I like this? It’s not fair. And I can’t talk about it out loud idk. Ughhh.
Sorry y’all. This was rambling. Just struggling a bit.
Btw everyone. Sorry I’m not on any other threads rn. I’m so tired all the time that it takes too much mental effort.
Yeah. Sorry. I love y’all thought 
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I’m behind on homework. My parents just flipped out on us for it. And I can’t deal with it. It makes me more and more suicidal every time. And the only reason I can stay alive is because of my dog. And they’ve threatened to take him away before. So I’m scared. I don’t want to lose him. I can’t wait to leave this place.
They keep wanting me to do things around the house and then they freak out that I don’t have the energy to do homework. It’s so hypocritical. I try to explain to her what I’m feeling and how tired I am. But she thinks I’m just avoiding doing work or just wanting attention or making it a bigger deal than it is. Idk. It’s awful though because no one gets it. Just because I’m currently able to make food doesn’t mean that I can clean the bathroom after. She doesn’t get why if I’m doing something I can’t just momentum and continue doing things. I get it. But with the number of times I’ve been crying because of how exhausted I am and tried to explain, she should at least understand even if she doesn’t experience it.
I’ve now been here for 2 years! That’s crazy! Good, but crazy.
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Random question. Why isn’t ASL (American Sign Language) an option for preffered language on medical forms?
They offer Central Khmer and Urdu but not American Sign Language? In America? I suppose you could write it in, but it’s just odd to me lol.
I have no problem with any of these languages. They just missed an obvious one.
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My parents are so overbearing and judgemental I have to physically hide things from them in my room (including food and electronics).
What do I do? How do I get over this mentality of having to hide everything I have for fear of being judged or having it taken? I’m moving out in a few months and I’m scared I’ll annoy roommates because of this annoying character trait. I’m super possessive because I’m so used to my stuff being taken by all of my family members. And I hide ANYTHING that could be controversial, unhealthy, or just not a normal, everyday item for fear people will judge me and make me feel bad.
This is my fist time really putting all the pieces together and realizing how much growing up here has shaped me into becoming a really possessive person. And I hate it.