I just explained to my mom how tired I am and why I wanted to wait to clean the dishes. Her response: we just spent 2 hours delivering groceries to 9 families.
Like dude, I’m talking chronic fatigue, just did 3 hours manual labor then 3 hours therapy. That would usually take 2-3 days.
I just found this draft from a few days ago and I can’t review rn so I’mma post and if I need to, I’ll edit later
I just realized I have no good word to explain my “flashbacks”.
I often experience physical feelings. But I don’t actually think I’m back there. But it’s not just an intrusive memory. I can taste certain things. I get the same emotions. I can feel them touching me. I’m scared. But I don’t actually think I’m back there. I know I’m having a “flashback” but I still can’t stop it. Idk what to do. And I have no way to explain it to anyone. Ughhhh
Headaches for 2 days now. I’m crashing. Been 2 days of work and home stuff. So much work. Been insanely tired and in pain.
Anyone who has fatigue issues knows what I mean when I say I’m crashing. Lots of pain. My body is telling me to chill out.
So tired I’m crying all the time. Nauseous when I think about anything stressful. Dizzy. Feel like my body is made of bricks.
It’s annoying because I can force myself to do things in this state. It’s hard and so emotionally taxing I’ll cry and nap for hours. But I can still do things. And so my mom just thinks it’s not a big deal. It’s so frustrating because I’ll tell her how I’m so tired and I really can’t do something and she’ll describe what she’s done today. And I get it. You don’t understand why I’m tired from just working for 5 hrs. But it doesn’t mean my pain and fatigue isn’t there. And she doesn’t respect that just because I physically can do something doesn’t mean I should. Heck, I’m still learning that myself lol. I get it. It’s just so hard. So now im crying myself to sleep lol.
Does anyone have any advice on getting through high school online or on transitioning to college while dealing with this type of thing?
Not had the fatigue issues myself although I did my degree online (I think equivalent to your college?) while working full time so it was a lot to fit in. The thing that helped me the most was flexibility, but I’m not a routine kind of person. So sometimes I would stay up late to finish something and then lie in, I worked from home so didn’t have to start until 9:30. Or if I woke up early I could do stuff then. Really just fitting in what I could when I could. I know others on my course found having a fixed routine was more important to them.
I had the benefit of not living with my parents at the time so didn’t have anyone to answer to!
I am also a big advocate of short to do lists as well as ‘done’ lists.
When I am working effectively I only have 3 things on my to do list for the day. It makes me prioritise and it feels achievable. Could you agree your top things to do for the day with your mum, would that help do you think? If your time is limited then best to get the most important things done!
There is always more to do, life is exhausting even without fatigue problems! So it is really important to keep track of the things you have done, all the accomplishments big and small.
Interesting. I get that. I can’t wait to live away from my parents. I’m staying on campus at my college, so I get to move out in a few months.
Random:
I’m stressed rn because my boyfriend wants to live out on the west coast, like in California. But I know I’ll want to stay around here, at least for a few years after college. I need my support system to fall back on. But I like the idea of living out there. Just not until I’m on my own two feet, you know? Idk. It sounds dumb fro me to be considering this as a teenager going into college, but I’m a planner and we’ve been together almost 4 years. So idk. Idk how to get him to sit and talk about it lol.
I like that, thank you!
I like the idea of ‘done’ lists. It’s easy to keep pushing yourself without acknowledging how much you’ve done.
I’m really sorry to hear this. Parents can be a huge trigger.
Its really hard to realize that we may never get that support. Something I’m trying to learn with mine. There are always so many questions. Do they care? Are they selfish? Are they really trying but just not getting it? Do they feel like they failed and that is why it’s hard for them to reach us?
I try to find strength in my writing. I wrote poetry. I know someone who writes music. Do you have anything you can put your energy into? Maybe you are a painter?
My poetry is filled with sadness and hurt but I know it is some good stuff. Anyone who’s read it says it touches them so it must be good. That gives me strength and a sense of purpose. “I am a writer”.
Do you have an artistic side that you can express these feelings? It may touch people. Channel this energy into something that gives purpose to what Life is all about. 
Yeah. It’s just super frustrating lol. I think they just don’t get it.
Oh cool. I do graphic design. I used to write, but now I can’t focus my eyes enough to read what I wrote and can’t spell well because of fatigue lol.
Aww. Beautiful.
Thanks that’s really smart.
Alright. I can’t find any research, so I’m wondering. Does anyone have fatigue or other issues that take a lot of energy? If so- do you ever feel more alert when laying down? I feel like because it doesn’t take energy to keep myself upright or interacting, laying down takes less energy and idk. I just feel more awake that way. Does anyone relate?
Headaches are mad annoying. Random knee pain off and on since like 3pm today. Oof. So now I’m mad tired lol.
Struggling with motivation for school.
Can’t really read well cause my eyes don’t like to focus. It takes effort and when I’m tired, my body goes, “Nope, you don’t need that right now.” and everything gets blurry and I can’t read or see well. Oof. It’s mad annoying.
I just want to sleep and switch heads with someone lol
Yeah, I don’t really feel more awake. Just like I can use energy on things other than sitting upright.
Thanks for your reply. Good to know it’s not just me.
I’m trying to work on resting more. So I don’t get as badly fatigued. Cause if I try to run on empty, it is worse for longer.
Update:
I’m going to be calling my PCP tomorrow to ask about next steps. The home sleep study is taking forever because they couldn’t figure out my insurance. So I’m going to ask her what we do after that and what we do in the meantime. Because we don’t think the test will find anything.
The problem is I’ve been dwelling on self harm more and more because of how bad I feel and how I can’t imagine feeling better. So I’m just trying to ignore it and focus on doing as much as I can to feel better. It’s just hard. I’m trying to keep myself busy with self-care and whatnot. Idk. Avoidance probably isn’t the best coping strategy, but its where I’m at lol.
Ha I said exactly this to my CBT therapist yesterday 
I have shared this with a few people lately, but it might be interesting to you.
She covers lots of topics if you have a look around the website. Also has some talks on Insight Timer and Calm.
Haha I love that😆
Hmm. Cool! I’ll check that out when I have more energy lol cause I just slept for like 2 hours
Random question:
Is this normal?
When I squeeze my wrist just under my thumb, it pos out. Same when I sit cause I sit on my foot and it pops out. Usually these instances don’t hurt, but now and then, especially on my ankle, it hurts and I have to really slowly get the pressure off and wait til it won’t hurt.
Sometimes they pop out just doing things, usually in the cold.
Is this normal? Or is it just my weird body lol?
Ughhhh. Okay. My mom bathes using this extremely strong mint essential oil. With the bathroom door and staircase door closed, you can smell it downstairs.
So my smelling isn’t hypersensitive, but I’m hypersensitive to smells. I smell things normally, but they are painful. So that smell gives me acid reflux and makes me really dizzy. It also often gives me a headache. And it happens like at least once a week.
Now I need to hide in my office which is the furthest room from the bathroom, with the windows open. The best part is that strong smells make me nauseous and so I’ll randomly have to run as fast as I can to the bathroom with my mask on to relieve myself without feeling worse.
Anyways, nauseous and dizzy rn. But still over 2 years clean from self harm. Which I just realized yesterday lol.
Urges to SH.
It’s hard. I fucking hate my dad. I’m sorry for the language.
I want to throw up.
He keeps touching my shoulder or my leg. I don’t like people touching me. But last time I asked him to stop everyone overreacted and got pissy cause I was “accusing him of harassing me and it’s not that bad it isn’t bad, he’s just being nice” I wasn’t. It’s how he is, but I’m not okay with that.
I had a bald guy touch me in ways I wasn’t okay with and I couldn’t stop it. My dad is a bald guy touching me in ways I can’t make him stop. Not the same, but I hate it. If I’m not asking him for help or approaching him, he should shut the freak up and not interfere. Every time I’m crying and venting to my mom he freaking shows up, interrupts, and is so annoying. He’s trying to help, but IF IM NOTAPPROACHING YOU, DONT TRY TO HELP ME!!!
I just want to freaking stab something and hit myself and I know it shouldn’t be me, but… Idk. It’s hard. And he’s an *ss
He was asking what I was making when I was literally just folding a paper in half to write on. I said I’m not making anything. He goes really?
And I’m like oh my God yes leave me alone!
So annoying.
My mom just came down sobbing about her sister who died about 5 years ago. She got a blood clot in her leg a few weeks after she broke it. It moved to her heart and she died. Because she didn’t stay active. My mom came down and was crying to me about how she doesn’t want me to die and I need to take care of myself and stay active and healthy. And it’s so annoying.
I CANT EAT HEALTHY BECAUSE WE HAVE NO FOOD. They go shopping every 2 weeks. I’m a picky eater. Produce doesn’t last 2 weeks. I don’t exercise because I’m too tired. I sleep 15 hours a day. I walk my dog about an hour or two a day. Im trying. And even if it’s not great, I have like 20 years before it could really mess with stuff, according to my cardiologist.
I just want to cut rn. I won’t. But it’s so hard. I can’t. I can’t do all this. I can’t . I can’t do this. Idk what to do.