Yeah. Just made me insanely tired lol. Cause that’s how I roll😄
I don’t have sleep apnea! Yay!
But now I have to do more studies to see what’s wrong. So it feels really slow and frustrating. But it is forward motion. So that’s good. But yeah.
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Okay, so I have joint and muscle pain and idk if it’s me being fat or an actual problem😄
Me being silly to start the day lol
Been noticing my paranoia more and realizing it’s not normal. Wanting to talk to my therapist. Because I know these things are paranoia and not real, but I can’t stop the anxiety and fear in the moment. It’s gotten pretty bad. But I’m scared she’ll either think I’m crazy or not bad enough for it to matter. Idk. It’s so hard. And I have no one to talk to. It’s really hard.
Would anyone know of a support of some sort online to vent about how my body doesn’t work right? Lol😆
Kind of coming to terms with the fact that I should probably break up with my boyfriend. It’s completely heartbreaking to me and idk what I’m going to do. We’ve been together for like 4 or 5 years. I love him so much.
He knows everything about me. Having to try and trust someone new someday or open up again, I just can’t. I trusted him and love him so much. He became really busy and I understand and support that. But I need stability. So much. And it feels like what’s the point of being in a relationship if you never talk or communicate in any way?
I don’t want to have to be the one to break it off with him. I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t know if he’ll care. I don’t know. I don’t want to lose him. I don’t know what I’ll do. I went through so much with him and I’m so scared I’ll be set back a lot. When we first dated, I was having bad flashbacks, had eating problems, hated myself a lot, and just overall was in one of the darkest times in my life. He was with me through that. He helped me with my flashbacks. He was so patient and supportive. Idk if I’m gonna find someone like that again. Idk if this is the right choice or if I’m just scared. Idk what to do and coping is hard. I’m kind of lost. And I feel so worthless and I don’t think I’ll ever find someone again who is so patient or who actually cares about me. Why would anyone like me?
Idk. Just really confused, stressed, scared, idk. I just can’t. Idk. I’m so confused and scared. Idk.
Sorry this was so long and annoying. Sorry. Just in a bad place rn.
Making big decisions is difficult! It is impossible to advise on relationships over the internet, but trust whatever you choose will be what you need to do 
Have you used The Mighty?
It is a mental health forum but i have seen people post about physical conditions too.
Yeah. Idk. It’s hard. I think I need to move on. It feels like there’s no point in getting my hopes up and then getting crushed all the time. It stinks.
I’m still scared I’ll never find someone as loving. But I think I might. Idk. I’m stressed and kind of scared, but I think I’m going to leave him.
How do I break up with someone I can’t get in contact with?
Really struggling. I really want to hurt myself and I just feel super out of control of everything. I just feel lost and broken and hurt and I just want to get it out. It’s too hard.
I broke up with him. Idk. He said he understands what I was saying. So I hope he gets it and isn’t hurt. Idk. It was super hard but I’m kind of glad I did it. Still fighting urges to hurt myself, but doing better.
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Ah well it sounds like you handled it well. Of course it’s hard and it will be difficult, but it will get easier!
I hope so.
You made the right choice for you, a very hard one at that. I am fucking proud of you
Thank you. Literally just gave a big sigh of relief when I read that. Thank you.
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Having weird pain today.
After work, the back of my knee was in so much pain. And now I’m having this weird pain. Idk what to describe it as. It’s like phantom pain. Like there’s nothing there, but it feels like there are needles in my heel. So it’s been a weird night.
About to fall asleep. Had bad anxious itching today.
But yay! My mom called my sleep doctor while I was at work. The sleep center is now open!!! And my doctor has already put me in for an appointment, so hopefully in a month or so, I can do my sleep study!!! Ahhh, forward motion makes me so much happier than is rational🤣
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Brilliant. It’s good when things start happening!
Omg I get to do my sleep study next week! Idk. Now I’m wondering if it’s cause of anxiety. Maybe it’s just from getting overwhelmed. Idk. We’ll see.
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