I love that one. So easy to do.
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Love that technique! And thatās such a lovely graphic for it! Thank youš
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Has anyone else experienced this. Idk if this is normal. So here goes: I almost never feel hungry. The only time I have that āhungryā feeling was if I didnāt eat for several days. Idk. Is this hunger thing something yāall pay attention to? Is it like an actualy thing people feel before eating.? Thanks!
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Itās kind of weird, but I think this is why I used to not eat. Like yes, it had to do with mental illness, but it was also cause there wasnāt really anything pushing me to eat.
And I think it also has to do with my current bingeing. Cause people say just wait till you feel hungry to eat, but that would be at least a couple days. So I just eat whenever. Itās weird. Itās kind of annoying. Idk how much this actually makes sense. But yeah. Thatās my theory, so maybe I will just work on making a schedule or something. Idk.
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For about a minute, I had no night vision in one eye and I freaked out lol. Seems fine now thoughš idk why, but I got mad stressed haha!
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Hey. Long time no see. Iāve been moving, getting used to school, etc. Also struggling a ton. But I couldnāt get this stuff to all transfer to my new phone, so Iām on my old one rn.
Tonight was bad. I canāt talk rn cause Iāll break down again, but I had a breakdown and it was really bad. And honestly, idk if I can do school if this keeps coming up. I just feel really stupid and tired and out of control right now. And itās hard. But Iām going to drink some water, go to bed and try again tomorrow.
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Thatās the spirit, see what a new day brings. We so often expect that how weāre feeling now is how we will always feel. I know I do a lot of thatā¦ Or thinking that things havenāt improved over time because I am sad and find things hard sometimes. But this idea of improvement isnāt necessarily very helpful. Some things are better, some things arenāt. Itās just different. We experience the same range of emotions (sad, happy etc), sure, but emotions are just thoughts. And like our external circumstances, they will change 
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Exactly right. Feeling a bit better today. During the day Iām busy and itās easy to push things to the back of my mind, you know?
TW: discussion of death, suicide, etc
About 3 years ago now, a kid from my school ended his life. I knew him when I was younger. I saw him again in the outpatient mental health program just about a month before he died.
Last night was bad. A thing popped up on instagram from the foundation his family made in his honor.
I just feel bad and awkward. I wanted to go to his wake, but the public one was while I was inpatient. So I couldnāt go. At the time, I also felt guilty that I hadnāt reached out to him in outpatient. I felt responsible for his death. Over time, I realized that wasnāt how it worked. I now donāt feel that way anymore.
But thatās why I didnāt reach out to his family at the time. And now itās three years later and thatās awkward. But Iāve never really told anyone that heās why I decided not to kill myself. Even at my darkest times since then, I knew I would never do it. I saw how many people it affected and how much it hurt people. I saw how it affected me. How it affected his family.
I keep wanting to tell them (his parents) that. That heās the reason I didnāt ever try to kill myself again. But itās scary and I donāt know how to contact them. Plus, I donāt want to be an asshole. Like hey, I know your son is dead, but it was worth it cause Iām alive! Thatās such an awful thing to say. And I feel like no matter how I say it, it will come across like that. Which sucks. And idk why I even want to tell them. Idk why Iām crying while I write this or why I cry when I think of him. I only knew him when we were really little. Idk. Thatās what happened last night. And itās kind of happening a little bit now.
Sorry that was really long (again). Iām just emotional rn.
Oof. That sucks. The lack of communicative ability is mad frustrating.
Thatās also a whole mood lol.
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Thatās totally okay!
A couple people have done that, and Iām totally cool with it. Everyone needs to vent sometimes!
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My neighbors dog passed, I believe from cancer. He was a greyhound and was an absolute sweetheart. She walked him around out neighborhood all the time. Sheās had greyhounds for many years, and usually had two. After Lila passed a few years ago, she didnāt get another. Now that gem has passed, Iām worried about her.
Right now Iām living at college and donāt see her often, but I feel so bad. Itās really really sad. Sheās such an independent person that I donāt think sheāll want pity or sorrow from anyone, which makes it hard to show her you care. She lived alone with her dogs ever since getting out of an extremely abusive relationship like 20 years ago, I think. Sheās so smart and so caring and she knows everyone in the neighborhood, and probably the whole town to be honest. Sheās always been so supportive of me and would ask about school and when I was applying to colleges, she was encouraging and really proud that I got into and am going to the school I am. She loved hearing about my horseback riding because she rode when she was younger and stopped due to injury. She even came to a few of my events. Sheās just such an amazing woman and she doesnāt deserve to have this pain in her life.
I wish I could show her how much she means to us and how amazing she is, but in a way that she would feel good about. But I donāt know what that would be and itās really sad.
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Do you have her phone number? Maybe just send a text with some kind words letting her know you care. Nothing that requires her to respond and this way sheāll read it when sheās ready and know you were thinking about her. Losing our fur babies is very difficult.
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Yeah. I might do that. I know she wouldnāt like it if people did that in person, but she might like it in a letter of some sort. Thank you.
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I donāt, but my parents do. Perhaps Iāll ask them. Or I may just write a letter. It sounds like she doesnāt really want to talk to people.
Thank you.
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Iāve been missing my dog so much. I cry almost every day lol. Heās such a sweetheart and itās weird not seeing him every day. We used to train for at least an hour a day and I miss that. Plus, he helped me stay on schedule because he had to be fed at specific times and heād make it clear when he needed me to feed or walk him. But anyways, yeah. I miss my little buddy.
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Keep coming on here! Vent, be angry, be sad, laugh, cry, happy etc do whatever you have todo! Its been so good for me and it will really help you. YOUāRE NOT ALONE 
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Aww I bet you do. Do you get regular pupdates? 
How is life, are you at college now? Howās that working out with/ despite Covid?
Exactly. Even on days I canāt get out of bed for myself, I could get out for him. I would feed and walk him even on days I wouldnāt be able to eat. Itās really hard to make myself do things now.
Thank you. I will. Currently crying lol. If I was at home, heād be licking my face rn or doing pressure. I miss him a ton. Oof.
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