I only bought a few shooters at a time to “control my drinking” 
But if I ran out some place I couldn’t get more, I’d find something. Cooking wine at work, some mirin I had(and still have for sushi) in my fridge, and only once, which I never imagined I’d get to this point, I drank mouthwash. It’s like 40 proof 
Never been sicker. Utter insanity, but these are the things I need to remember forever.
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Once drank hand gel in the 8 hour queue to get out the car park at a music festival. Still drunk after a three x 24 hour bender.
Absolutely hideous and shameful.
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-i would dissociate at literally any free minute 24/7 for years by imagining horrible storylines for my favorite characters from Avatar the last air bender and 20 more shows that I was obsessed with… took me years to realize that doing that was kind of the same as drinking, bc your escaping too.
To me my imagination is a much greater addiction than drugs, and ill probably never fully shake it, and must say that I dont want to
-whenever I had an urge i would imagine a part of my brain physically burned to represent that it wasnt working right bc it was hurt.
That meant that the urges werent real or sth to take seriously, just the result of a malfunctioning brain. This helped when the urges got really bad
-when it was the hardest, i came to the point where i was too tired of the neverending argument in my head, so instead of keeping reasoning I “gave up” and just went like: I could drink right now, damn all reasons against or for. But I won’t. Just because I can. Just for the hell of it. Just because I want to stick it to myself. Thats pure wild sobriety 
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I walked around with a white bandana tied around my leg to remind myself to stay sexually pure. When people asked me what it was for, my response was
it stood for purity, purity through God.
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Hmm, might have to try that.
I work at a liquor store so its taking all the self control i’ve got 
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That sucks
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Wow, I can imagine. I’m a server/bartender so I understand how it is being right in arms reach. One thing I realized I had to do was fully believe 100% that drinking just isn’t in the cards for me anymore. Everyone else is on their own. In this world, there’s no way to avoid exposure forever, so making that connection was key. I can make drinks, serve them, be with friends who are drinking, and none of it bothers me or tempts me at all bc I always say no to the only drink that matters. The first one. Welcome aboard friend 
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It really does but i’m trying to take it as a challenge. I actually have an immense amount of support from my boss and coworkers so im very grateful for that 
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I still have a checklist I go through when I crave. Started with HALT and expanded over the years. I use it for EVERYTHING now, from food craving, alcohol craving, codependent bullshit to checking why I am a grumpy bitch atm 
And I have created an emotional support poster size A0 which hangs on the toilet door. It’s interesting how people react when they read it. Lots of good quotes to be found there 
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I guess it kinda fits here…
Mel once got us hyped for a web series of Laughing Meditations. I said, why not?
Part of it was just forced laughing from the gut. It felt so silly at first.
At some point during one of them, I started genuinely laughing. Like, spiritually laughing like a maniac in tears on my living room floor. I couldn’t stop.
I remember I was really stressed out that day, but by the time I was done I felt lighter than I ever had.
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I love this! Haven’t done in a long time (so freeing and cathartic) - I appreciate the reminder. Laughter really is the best medicine .
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Haven’t meditated or haven’t laughed?
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I created the thought of a silver Thor-like hammer in my mind years ago. I use it to mentally smash triggers or bad thoughts when they enter my head. It works surprisingly well!
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I’m a bit of a Thor fan so definitely can run with this 
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Lol. … good question.
I do both. Haven’t taken the time to sit and create laughing fits. Those are so amazing and a great release.
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After being emotionally dead for decades when sobriety came I didn’t really know how to release it so I used to sit and watch you tube clips of people helping the homeless or leaving large tips to restaurant staff and my eyes would be pouring happy tears.
Now I’m so soft I cried at top gun maverick and nearly shed a tear to superman 2 yesterday. ( although it’s sad enough I’ve decided to rewatch every superman film)
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Grateful that you were able to find a way to release this emotion. 
. I too was closed off and hard with my emotions.
I do at times wish I didn’t cry over everything but it’s better to release the emotion than to let it build up inside.
Enjoy watching the superman movies 
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Ok not odd but I planned a Disneyworld Resort Birthday Bash for my daughter and paid for everything with payments. So everytime I thought about drinking, I would think that I’ll never get to that goal financially if I start drinking and I’ll let everyone down! Sometimes I think not one day at a time… more like…one vacation at a time
I spent ahelluvalota money on booze.
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Odd jobs to stay busy in evenings. Massage receptionist, food delivery driver, etc.
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