Welcome Sheena! We’ve all been there, and thank goodness, because it makes it crystal clear what we don’t want; and that helps push us toward what we do want: being healthy and functional (which means sober).
I have a simple rule that helps me: you’re allowed to do anything that’s safe and legal, to stay sober. Cake for dinner? Yep. Sick days? Yep. (Often it’s possible to have leave for this type of recovery work, just ask.) Long walks listening to angry music? Yep. Spontaneous visit to an amusement park? For sure. Etc etc.
It’s a journey, and it’s a journey of self-discovery. You’re building a relationship with someone you don’t really know: your grounded, healthy self. Your self that is choosing to live clear and consciously, deliberately, and committing to stay clear and conscious, consistently. She’s an interesting and influential person, she’s a person who has an impact, but she’s new to you, so this is going to be a process of discovering and developing yourself.
I find Talking Sober super helpful because there’s people here 24 hrs a day, so I know someone is around & even if they don’t reply to my post, it’s out there and people are reading it. It’s kind of like being in a clubhouse. Not everyone is making conversation with me of course - but I’m in a place where I belong.
I use the check in thread when I am feeling that squirrelly addict voice in my head. That voice never really goes away. It’s not a bad thing - it’s just kinda the voice that all humans have, that dysfunctional side (it’s just part of human nature) - and actually for us in recovery it’s helpful, because it reminds us “hey! You’ve been neglecting something, so you’re hearing that addict voice, which gets stronger the more you neglect your self-care - so you better start paying attention, refocus yourself”.
Checking in daily to maintain focus #42
I love these threads too, just for fun:
Meme Wars 68 No Politics Please
Post your most inspiring photos of nature #3
Foodies Unite #4 (trigger warning food) DON’T GO BACON MY HEART!
And there’s so many other good ones. Have a read around.
Lastly, these threads are full of useful podcasts and recovery groups, to help us gain knowledge and build strength:
Take care, take it one day at a time, and remember, every person, whether they’ve had an addiction or not, moves through life one step at a time: every day, asking “what’s my next right step”. The measure of our success is not compared to other people. The measure of success is compared to ourselves. What’s our next right step?
You’ve got this. Keep reaching out, keep sharing 