This weekend was a little tough for me. I am just at 2 weeks without a drink and this weekend was the first time to hang out with friends sober in a long while. All of our couple friends drink so I felt a little left out. My wife and I met when we were both drinking and most of our activities together when we were dating involved drinking. I always got more drunk of course, and I embarrassed her a lot over the years with how I would act while I was drunk, but we both drank pretty regularly. This weekend she had a lot to drink and it definitely made me want to drink and I started to get pretty insecure about how our relationship will work moving forward with her continuing to drink like she normally does and me not drinking at all. I totally don’t have any room to judge her drinking and it feels hypocritical for me to get upset about it because of my past. She has had to put up with a lot because of my past behavior. Any advice? She doesn’t seem very receptive to making any changes with her drinking. I assume this just gets better with time as we learn how to interact with this new dynamic?
@Dazercat can give you advice and his experience on this. In the end, you need to quit for you, whatever those around you do, even your partner. Depending on her own issues, she may be more or less willing to reduce or control around you. But ultimately, focus on ur own sobriety.
It’s common for us to feel this way about our loved ones. This thread has a lot of experiences:
Are you affected by a loved one who is an addict?
You can get support and guidance at Al Anon:
Take care and don’t give up. You will find a path that works for you. 
Try a meeting plenty of people there been were you are now wish you well
Hi there I’m Daphne. I am actually in the same boat at the moment. Message me anytime. I just posted about the same issue yesterday.
There are a lot of us dealing with this, and there is no right answer.
Isn’t it odd how different you feel when you quit drinking? Then you are around it and it seems strange? Makes you question everything.
Welcome and well done on your 2 weeks!! It can be frustrating and a very big adjustment for everyone involved when someone chooses sobriety. I am glad you reached out.
There are many people here who also have spouses / partners who drink. You may find some support and helpful suggestions and reading by looking at some of those threads as well. Here are a couple for you to check out…
Welcome Justin.
Nope. You’re not alone.
My wife and I drank for 38 years together. It was the life WE made for ourselves. I got sober a little over 2 years ago. We had a nice talk back then and she supports me. But she also made it clear she’s gonna drink. Every fucken day, for 2 plus years of my sobriety. It’s sad. I really want her to have what I have so badly. But I cannot make that happen. I see you’ve already gotten the Al-Anon advice. Which by the way save my life when my life was totally unmanageable, when both my kids were in active addiction for years. And you’ve been directed to the thread I started. And some other great ones I was directed to when I first came on here. Please join in when your comfortable. Sharing is where we find our strength.
I do gratitude every day here on the gratitude thread. And many times “I’m grateful for the time I have with my wife when she’s not drunk.” And when I’m focusing on her drinking. I’m not focusing on my recovery.
We can get through this together.
My favorite pice of Al-Anon literature 
I’m sick and tired of being the only one working on this relationship. I’ve gotten sober many times and he continues to drink. I continue to stay with him and then I eventually wind up drinking. I pretty much love and need him and I don’t know what to do.
Thanks, everyone! This is really great for info and it feels better knowing that I’m not the only one that has dealt with this. Although it has been difficult not to join in, it feels great the next day. Never fails that I will be proud of myself the next morning for bearing through it the night before.
Sounds like a good time to sit down together when you are both refreshed, not drinking, not hungover and are well rested…and have a discussion around your marriage. Perhaps starting couples therapy together might be helpful? Or alone if they are not interested. It always helps me to have someone else to bounce my thoughts off.
I’m in sober living and I’m not drinking and he disrespects me by showing up smelling like alcohol or when I call him to say good night I can tell he’s clearly drunk I don’t know what to do
That sounds super frustrating. Sounds like he has a problem, too.