Hello, my name is Dan and I am a stay at home dad and I’m an alcoholic. I have three kids, 2 sons 8 and 16 and my daughter is 18.
I wasnt always a house husband; I used to work in the casino industry as an analyst and I became overcome with guilt as I was not helping the condition, only hurting. This exacerbated my drinking problem. In early 2018 my wife told me I could quit and stay home with the kids. I decided to take the plunge at the end of June 2018. This past summer was one for the books, many great memories made. But now school has started and I am in unchartered territory.
I struggle with managing all the day to day duties all while tending to my own recovery efforts.
I’m hoping to create this thread to share tips, tricks and insights that may help others like us stay at homer’s, or just a place to bitch about our kids, spouses, neighbors and the PTA.
Just came out of the bathroom to find my golden sharing breakfast with my youngest Currently catching up on the latest episode of This is Us while trying to tidy and do lunches in tandem!
Getting involved with this thread. Have to say I’m quite lucky with my recovery meetings as they run mainly during school hours, I gave up working to concentrate on my recovery. I have two days that run over the end of school pick up by an hour but either my husband or other mum friends will pick up the boys
I kind of miss having little ones around. All in have to keep me company while the kids are in school are my cats, but they are cats and they do cat things, so I might as well be alone.
Try martial arts, or take a class on-line, or bowling.
Pick something that requires focus and dedication to mastery. In mastering one thing, you learn the secret of mastering all things, and that secret is discipline.
Discipline is the way. If you know the way broadly, you will see it in all things.
I do have my music career that I am working on. I have a little studio in my spare room where I spend a few hours a week. Somedays I can spend all day in there, lately I’ve been in a funk and have been avoiding doing the work I’ve committed to.
Since I dont get out of the house much, other than daily gym and grocery run, I want to volunteer at the food bank so I can have some meaningful human contact.
I’m a stay at home mom of 2 boys, 10 and 13. Currently on forum in school parking lot waiting to get my oldest from basketball practice. This is the 900th practice this week, or so it seems lol. Baseball tryouts tomorrow and Sunday. I keep a desk calendar so I know where and when to go places. I use a pencil, cuz stuff changes so much. The school emails are constant. I think they must have a full time position filled for just sending schoolwide emails. For the luv
I’ve been home since a few months after the birth of my second. In between the first and second, I worked from home. I used to manage groundwater remediation projects. I miss it sometimes but feel incredibly lucky to be able to be home. They are 4 and 6.
Hey there, Thanks for this thread! I’m Meagan have three kids- our daughter is ten, and boys are eight and two. I found working full time from staying home full time was a really difficult transition. It took me a while to find my groove. So definitely not alone there, now I do love staying home and feel so grateful that I can. Finding the balance is tough, I feel when I get into a routine finally it then changes lol. But I have ocd and having a cleaning schedule of my own has helped as well as making dinner lists with the family so I’m not going to the store more than I need to or thinking about dinner last minute. I try not to do evening meetings during the week so I can be home when the big kids get home from school. And lately I’ve found putting them to bed early- even if they’re reading or watching a half hour show, has been helpful too because that’s my downtime. That’s my time to have quiet from the chaos and focus on myself for my recovery. Or one on one to connect with my husband.
I recently picked up learning cralligraphy and hand lettering- it’s really therapeutic for me, I also do photography as a job but I’m not nearly as busy as I used to be however finding that work, self care, family, recovery, and to do list balance was tough to figure out for a bit! Not sure if you’re experiencing boredom at times or not but making a list of things you want to learn or do was tremendous help for me as well as a list of things I want to do and need to do. I was able to clearly see what needed to be a priority and what could wait until slower times.
Anyway not sure if this helps hopefully it does in some way. Thank you again for the post excited to see others tips as well.
I get bored easily. I need a more structured schedule. I’m finding my way, but I get really bored. I don’t like cleaning, despite my house being in disarray, so that’s not a go to thing for me to get busy.
I’m now a stay at home mom to my three and four year old boys. Transitioning from having a career to being a full time mom was initially incredibly hard. I’m finding life a bit easier as they get older. I love this thread; thank you for starting it!
I can get bored easily too. My cleaning schedule was actually for me to clean one thing one day like bathrooms on mondays for example, and only takes me about 15/20 minutes or so. That way throughout the week it’s not overwhelming me the House seems somewhat put together all week instead of a huge massive cleaning day lol. It helps my ocd stay in check otherwise I get super stressed and anxious.
If the house doesn’t bother you that’s great! Send me those relaxing vibes please lol. It’s totally how I was raised- got yelled at for spots on wine glasses, had a list of chores to do everyday, perfectionism and order was a must, and the weight was on my shoulders as the oldest. I’m working on it lol because it’s all pressure I put on myself now.
I was raised super strict, so I guess now I’ve gone in opposite direction re cleaning. I’m not relaxed. I’m lazy. )-:
I used to set a 15 minute timer and clean until buzzer. May be I’ll force myself do try that again.
I get lazy about some stuff too I think it’s because it can be so monotonous! I cleaned this ten minutes ago and it’s a mess again what’s the point?!!! Lol having our third child relaxed me beyond belief- he’s insane! Had colic as a baby too I had no choice but to let a lot of things go. Now he’s into everything. Thursday he dumped out three bottles of toothpaste all over my bedroom and himself- looked like a blue smurf, opened the backyard sliding glass door and went to play with the dogs, and got into my closet where all the Halloween candy was my older two got into stuff as toddlers but nothing like this kid!
Im like you, sort of. I have a routine that I follow. After kids are off to school I go to the gym. Then dishes and pickup the downstairs. After cleaning I figure out what’s for dinner and go to the store.
I don’t have a schedule yet, so things like dusting or cleaning the bathroom goes undone. I also don’t meal plan yet, and I’m finding im spending a lot more money than I should because of that.
I really need to get a calendar to keep track of things, I think that will help a lot.
Currently catching up on the latest episode of This is Us while trying to tidy and do lunches in tandem!
, they are completely opposite of each other and always competitive too