Life will bring you challenges. You’re winning the fight against your addiction and that’s harder than most battles. Keep your head up. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be and maybe you guys will work it out. Either way i wish you the best!
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Good on you Ady! Your doing great keep going!
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Youve got to keep fighting. WE are all here with you. I battle a mixture of porn video games alcohol and sex…amongst many things my life is collapsing… but we must carry on with getting help and effort. You are not alone and you are worthy of love.
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Thanks for the support everyone. Got new medication today, it is definitely different to the last lot so just see how it goes. I have been a bit more active today and ate twice so that’s a step in the right direction. Still struggling being on my own but got my councillor coming round tomorrow so at least it’s a face to talk to.
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That’s very encouraging news! 
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Amazing, well done!
We’ve got a thread going following the Action for Happiness calendar. Feel free to join us when you’re up for it 
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Nice one.
Be open with your councillor. It’ll be uncomfortable, but once you start it’ll get better.
Your post has a more positive feel to it. Good to see.
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If you’ve been on the meds and they are not working still you need either new meds or adjusted!!! I have had mental disorders most of my life so this I do know what I am talking about! Call dr make an appt tell them you’re having suicidal thoughts, that term, it will not get you locked up if you say just racing thoughts!
Time can change a lot of things but when we are in active addiction of course no one trusts us, would you? I am just 7 days clean and have not only thought but attempted, feebly or half assed or some reason still here!! I can’t take the depression the most, it’s a dark tunnel during the day I logically know it’s just the withdrawal our body fighting our conscious decision to stop using and they want the drug!! The night time is the worst!! Literally horrible! I saw about reuniting with your children, how would that ever be possible if you’re not even here??? I had the estranged children who didn’t trust me, broken promises and the exes family destroying my name all the way! If that can be fixed so can yours but it takes time a lot of it, trust is broke. In an instant unfortunately gaining it back doesn’t work that way!!!
Walk, take a walk to clear your head this works because as you exercise blood starts moving chemicals in our brains actually flow faster even dopamine…the feel good chemical.
Stand w freezer open the drop in temperature shocks the body and you’ll only think about the cold and it can help if your body is overheating which also is a symptom of withdrawal.
If all else fails phone a friend or someone you trust!!!
Sometimes just talking to someone can help! More then we think and those people who care wontngibe two sh%# if you’re crying, I don’t like crying pd but these chemicals and hormones I’ve cried more in the last week then I have my entire life…which is why I used as I’m learning to not feel!
Call me if you need to I can listen at least sometimes just knowing there’s another person out there going through the same thing makes it at least for the moment, a little less lonely!
Good luck!!!
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Feeling a bit better today with the new medication and after seeing my councillor. I cried Infront of her again today as I’m finding it difficult to talk about most of the issues right now but I felt better afterwards. Been a bit more active and trying to be more positive. Next big hurdle is making some new friends which I’m going to struggle with but if I don’t I will always be lonely and I don’t want that
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My prayers are with you. Speaking from experience it will pass
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These are fantastic updates. I’m so glad that a new medication has made such a huge difference. Keep it up. You deserve a happy life.
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Can you please just delete my account?
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So yesterday, I was not feeling good at all, not sure if it was the medication I’m on now or a side effect from coming off the other medication but it was horrible, my head was banging, feeling dizzy and my vision was all over the place so barely moved from my bed. I woke up this morning feeling a lot better and as the day progressed I felt a bit more normal. I’m struggling to sleep for any decent amount of time which is doing my head in so just sleeping whenever I can fall asleep.
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Stick with it Ady, your doing excellent work!
You have the right idea, just listen to your body and go with it mate.
Well done!
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Been trying to shut everything else out and focus on myself. Changing medication has definitely helped but still have to give it time for my new medication to get into my system so time will tell. Sleeping is the issue now as I’m not getting a decent sleep, it’s always broken. I still ask myself, would I be better off dead? This whole situation is so wrong but I’m powerless. All I can do is try and keep going and hopefully my life will change for the better.
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Today was not a good day and I have been having crazy thoughts again. I don’t know why I’m feeling like this again today as I had been doing really well. I called my counselor earlier which helped but I obviously need more help more often so need to find out what other help is available. Unfortunately it’s a bank holiday now so have to wait until Tuesday
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Sorry to hear this. You are doing really well Ady. Don’t let these feelings get the better of you. I know you are working hard at this.
You can look on the internet, do some research to see what is there in preparation for Tuesday.
Please don’t let the negatively take hold, look to how much you have grown in your confidence, and strength to deal with this. Look at the positives, and try not to look at the weekend as being a problem.
There is always, something that can be done!
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Check in here as often as you need to - even if it is just to write out some thoughts and get them out of your head. The Friday thread is always good if you are looking for a way to be with folks and pass some time.
The medicine will help - and these thoughts you are having will pass. I know that is hard to believe, but it’s true. You are doing just what you need to do for now. Let folks here help you when things go dark…
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Recognising when you need help and reaching out to ask for it is so good. That shows real strength
Check in here when you need to and don’t forget that Samaritans are there to listen any time of day too. Call 116 123 or you can email/write to them if you prefer https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/
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Yeah i can relate. Ive tried to kill myself a bunch. I have PTSD stemming from abuse and near death experiences. I watched my abuser kill herself, i thought shed kill me but she shot herself. I have terrible guilt from that, i keep thinking it should have been me dead. After at least a dozen attempts, i was hospitalized and treated for both my PTSD and bipolar.
My last attept was in November 2017. Now i have a job ive held down for almost a year, getting straight A’s, doing a hell of a lot better. After years and years of counseling i feel much better and have healthier coping mechanisms than drinking now. I wish you the best in your recovery, you can get past this.
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