I know it sounds like an excuse but it really is affecting me really bad. It feels like I have taken ecstasy sometimes, I can feel my jaw and teeth clamping down or shaking and then its like sleeping tablets the next. I get really dizzy when I’m standing sometimes and feel like I’m going to pass out. I have no motivation at all
Please let your doctor know all the symptoms you are experiencing. An adjustment to your medication might be needed.
2 Likes
I think that’s the only thing I can do. Hopefully a change in medication might make a change to my mood and thoughts. I have considered just coming off medication as I’m not convinced it helps me.
2 Likes
Sounds like an adverse reaction to your meds. I would go to the doctor immediately.
2 Likes
Yea sounds like a trip to the doctor’s is in order! I don’t know about you but I find it difficult to tell them what I want when I get in there. Last time I wrote out a list of the key points I wanted to get across so I couldn’t back out of it while I was there and try to convince myself I was fine. Turned out to be a good move as I ended up crying through the appointment and couldn’t talk. Just handed over that piece of paper.
This is not about it being your fault. It is just how you are feeling right now. It’s shit, but it’s ok.
Think of what you have done today. Got out of bed? Had a shower? Brushed your teeth? If not, can you do any of those things? If not, find something you can do, and then do it! Even a small thing is something, count everything you manage as an achievement and build up from there when you can.
My favourite thing at the moment is hearing the sounds of the birds in the morning. If you’re up around now and have any trees near where you’re staying, crack a window and see if you can hear them sing 
3 Likes
Mate, I feel for you! As others have said, go see your Doctor. Just don’t be scared or embarrassed. This is for you and your life.
You know that you will. That’s the beauty of journaling I guess, you can see the change
You have done really well in opening up on here, I realise that it is hard for you. By doing so you are starting the healing process. Breaking down the barriers. Consider yourself bro-hugged my man.
6 Likes
I’ve been in the exact position you are in right now. I used to have auditory hallucinations, hearing people that weren’t there telling me i was worthless and nothing but a stupid bitch that didn’t deserve to have anything, that i was stupid, just all the horrible things you could imagine and it was my own brain projecting those thoughts out loud where i could hear them, making me think it was someone else. It litterally about drove me insane, i thought about taking my own life almost daily and even almost attempted it once. I just sat holding a gun to my head for over an hour, but in the end i knew i didn’t want to take the easy way out and hurt my husband and my daughter. That wasn’t even my first attempt. I thought about checking myself into a mental instatution for an evaluation. I went through complete hell for over 6 months. Only recently have they died down where i can basically ignore it and live my life. It seriously consumed me and it all happened from doing meth. I wouldn’t eat, drink, i wouldn’t go outside my house. I was afraid of everything. But slowly i kept picking myself back up and putting myself back together and now i’m 90 days in and i feel better than i ever have. My relationships with my family are getting better, because trust me i had a lot of making up to do and i’m slowly getting their trust back. So i can tell yoi that thin gs will get better for you as long as you stay here to let them, and you deserve to let things get better. Everyone does, even me. I relate to you so much i really do. You just have to keep trying even on the days when it seems impossible, just keep picking yourself up and put yourself back together like i did and then one day at a time it will seem a little less dark. With each passing day it will get a little brighter, i can promise you that. You just have to hang in there.
1 Like
I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow so I’m not taking the medication until after I have seen them. Hopefully get something different that isn’t going to affect me like these tablets have. I have wrote a list of side effects and how I’m feeling so I don’t forget anything. Still can’t get my head around the situation I’m in.
5 Likes
Life will bring you challenges. You’re winning the fight against your addiction and that’s harder than most battles. Keep your head up. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be and maybe you guys will work it out. Either way i wish you the best!
1 Like
Good on you Ady! Your doing great keep going!
1 Like
Youve got to keep fighting. WE are all here with you. I battle a mixture of porn video games alcohol and sex…amongst many things my life is collapsing… but we must carry on with getting help and effort. You are not alone and you are worthy of love.
1 Like
Thanks for the support everyone. Got new medication today, it is definitely different to the last lot so just see how it goes. I have been a bit more active today and ate twice so that’s a step in the right direction. Still struggling being on my own but got my councillor coming round tomorrow so at least it’s a face to talk to.
10 Likes
That’s very encouraging news! 
3 Likes
Amazing, well done!
We’ve got a thread going following the Action for Happiness calendar. Feel free to join us when you’re up for it 
1 Like
Nice one.
Be open with your councillor. It’ll be uncomfortable, but once you start it’ll get better.
Your post has a more positive feel to it. Good to see.
2 Likes
If you’ve been on the meds and they are not working still you need either new meds or adjusted!!! I have had mental disorders most of my life so this I do know what I am talking about! Call dr make an appt tell them you’re having suicidal thoughts, that term, it will not get you locked up if you say just racing thoughts!
Time can change a lot of things but when we are in active addiction of course no one trusts us, would you? I am just 7 days clean and have not only thought but attempted, feebly or half assed or some reason still here!! I can’t take the depression the most, it’s a dark tunnel during the day I logically know it’s just the withdrawal our body fighting our conscious decision to stop using and they want the drug!! The night time is the worst!! Literally horrible! I saw about reuniting with your children, how would that ever be possible if you’re not even here??? I had the estranged children who didn’t trust me, broken promises and the exes family destroying my name all the way! If that can be fixed so can yours but it takes time a lot of it, trust is broke. In an instant unfortunately gaining it back doesn’t work that way!!!
Walk, take a walk to clear your head this works because as you exercise blood starts moving chemicals in our brains actually flow faster even dopamine…the feel good chemical.
Stand w freezer open the drop in temperature shocks the body and you’ll only think about the cold and it can help if your body is overheating which also is a symptom of withdrawal.
If all else fails phone a friend or someone you trust!!!
Sometimes just talking to someone can help! More then we think and those people who care wontngibe two sh%# if you’re crying, I don’t like crying pd but these chemicals and hormones I’ve cried more in the last week then I have my entire life…which is why I used as I’m learning to not feel!
Call me if you need to I can listen at least sometimes just knowing there’s another person out there going through the same thing makes it at least for the moment, a little less lonely!
Good luck!!!
2 Likes
Feeling a bit better today with the new medication and after seeing my councillor. I cried Infront of her again today as I’m finding it difficult to talk about most of the issues right now but I felt better afterwards. Been a bit more active and trying to be more positive. Next big hurdle is making some new friends which I’m going to struggle with but if I don’t I will always be lonely and I don’t want that
8 Likes
My prayers are with you. Speaking from experience it will pass
2 Likes
These are fantastic updates. I’m so glad that a new medication has made such a huge difference. Keep it up. You deserve a happy life.
2 Likes
Can you please just delete my account?
2 Likes