Sadly it’s a huge part of society so we can’t stay away from it, even if it disgusts you, unless we also completely stay away from society. But I hear you. I hate it. I HATE how important it is to everyone. I hate how it used to be the most important thing to me too.
I used to be the one with alcohol on my breath all the time and worried people could tell I was that guy…you know the neighborhood drunk, now Im noticing I wasnt alone in that. Im realizing more that many people live their life this way. I run into people constantly in my day to day with “the breath”. I dont judge, Instead I wonder if they’ve got a problem they’re “not” dealing with or if it’s just how it is today, everbody drinks. Either way, Im happy Im not at it anymore. I hated being that guy.
I’m with you on this, Brookie. I hate that it was ever legalized, the government and establishments that profit from it, the commercials that glamorize it and how we’ve all been duped. No worse than the big pharmas and tobacco that knew it would addict people.
But alas, here we sit with free will. I do my part with young people and those I think might be struggling and talk freely about it. It makes me feel that I can do my part in removing it’s mask.
I hear to you there. Tear to the eye actually. So many moments I remember people saying something like “did you have a big night last night?”, and the standard response fueled by shame and embarrassment would be “no”, or “not really”.
Not sure which is worse. The lie, or pretty much stating you could have had more. .
I completely get it. I just had to tell a friend that I would go to her wedding, but not the reception. Would I drink at the reception, no. Is it all the “normal drinkers” problem, no. I just have no desire for that life style. Maybe its the memories of how I was.
On day 87 of my new journey, after a 2 year relapse. I am finally able to look at myself in the mirror and appreciate what I see. Disgust was exactly how I felt about myself during those 2 years.
I really have no use for it either. There is this wonderful place called the Fuckit Buckit where alcohol and anyone who is offended by my sobriety is more than welcome to go…
That’s a really great option …I really don’t want to go to a wedding I need to attend in a few weeks for that same reason.
I just don’t want to be around all the alcohol and all the drinking. I don’t want to subject my kids to that either. Maybe I will decide to leave early. Just kinda hard when my kids are the ring bearers and my husband, the best man. But I’ve been dreading it for a while now so maybe me and my boys will duck out early.
I think this is natural reaction to something that has been the root cause of problems for many years. I also struggle to be around alcohol and no longer feel comfortable around it and therefore i avoid it. This does come at a price when i miss out on social events but thats my preferred choice. Stay strong Brooke and ignore the snipes.
I want this on a T-shirt
Amen. Its sort of like when people in my life complain about the most petty or snobby crap. I simply reply with. ‘Well…Life is a shit sandwich…Eat or go hungry.’ My humor is very dry and dark, but oh well…
I recently went to my best friends wedding. I thought I was going to duck out early. I ended up staying almost all the way to the end.
I found that my focus was on things that have become more important since becoming sober. Socialing/dancing with my wife, Dancing/playing with the kids, and genuinely enjoying the special moment with my best friend and people whom I dont see often.
Mark that’s great , that’s actually been my experience at a few different events since starting my sobriety journey…which was such a shock really, and breath of fresh air. So I am hoping to have the same thing happen again…
I guess one thing that stands out is the groom (brother in law) wanted me to do a shot with him on the big day, which threw me off. Anyways I already told him no and he only mentioned it because I said I was STILL not drinking. Either way I’m not doing it, just don’t need weirdness lol
You know as an alcoholic I never once had that thought where I hated alcohol or people that were drinking it or that I couldn’t stand being around it. I loved everything about alcohol I loved the smell of it the taste of it the way it made me feel I didn’t want to stop drinking but my body told me it was time to stop… and the only way that I could do that was to change everything about myself in Order to fix it and to stop the obsession in my mind of drinking. So what did that look like for me? It meant I had to take action it meant I had to do something different it meant I had to be uncomfortable. So I did what was suggested of me by my peers and I want to Alcoholics Anonymous and I learned that alcohol is not my only problem it is but a symptom of the disease of alcoholism my problem is everything else it is the way that I process information it is the way that I think it is the way that I feel it is the way that my brain projects things to make me think things are worse than what they are it is the way I rationalize my drinking and how I react to situations alcohol is my response to the way my mind thinks-- I pick up a drink when I don’t want to deal with life - - which happened to be all of the time. I found out in Alcoholics Anonymous that not everybody is an alcoholic that people can drink normally, I am the one with the drinking problem not all of my friends are drunks. I also found out that if I have a pure motive to be around alcohol then I will be okay in that situation only if I rely on a higher power if I talk to people in AA if I called my sponsor If I Stay true and honest to myself I can be around alcohol and not once think about drinking and not once think about other people drinking and wishing that they would stop. I can go anywhere today and be around Booze, I can go to a bar I can go to a concert I can go to the beach and to a club and dance and I do not have to pick up a drink and I do not have to analyze every single person that is drinking around me I can be free, be myself & drink a fucking Red Bull and have a good night. I hope someday you get to that point and you can be honest with yourself and that the obsession drinking will leave your mind like it’s left mine! Alcohol will never go away you just have to realize that now and find a solution to live your best life without ever thinking of picking up a drink again… And trust me it’s possible
I have been to two weddings in the last 6 months, both were must attends and I just adored both. We had to travel to get there, were able to lend a big hand to the bride and groom…doing flowers, setting up tables, cooking, you name it. And we so enjoyed catching up with family and friends and sharing the special time with everyone. But for both of them, after the ceremony and meals once people started really drinking, we excused ourselves and left. It was a great time to exit and we apparently missed the inevitable meltdowns.
I am so glad I was able to go to both weddings and not worry about making an ass of myself. But if it would have felt at all challenging to my sobriety I would have had no problem not going. Do what is right for you.
Reminds me of what I hear in AA all the time, “go to a barber enough times and you will eventually get cut.” For me, i guess it would depend on the person. For the upcoming wedding, just a friend i work with, so missing the reception isnt a big deal. If my niece or nephew were getting married, i would go to the reception with my toolbox fully loaded.
We are having booze at my wedding. I will be going to the store and buying cases upon cases or beer. This doesn’t concern me. The beer is not for me. Despite the insistence the alcohol is the devil, the majority of people can enjoy alcohol without having negative consequences. Sure it’s not all that healthy, but neither are most the foods we eat, soda’s we drink and polluted air we breath. I didn’t get sober to become the booze Nazi. You want to drink? That’s cool, have fun! I can’t drink safely. I know this. But most people can and that’s cool too
Yesss:purple_heart: that’s that shit when I was planning my wedding we were going to have an open bar… My fiance and I are the only alcoholics in our families so why should everyone else suffer! But now we are eloping lol less stress and less money:heart: I’m happy for you man:slightly_smiling_face:
Eloping is seeming like the better option for me to lol