Trichotillomania / dermatillomania

Hello everyone!
A safe space to talk about trichotillomania and dermatillomania to motivate ourselves.
Please feel free to share your story, your achievements or your relapses here.

(French is my language so please excuse my mistakes in english)

About me: I’ve been in trich since 15 years now. I pull my hair everyday, mostly for hours. 2 or 3 days without pulling is monumental for me. I use this app for counting since 2 days, it motivates me a lot. At nearly 30 years old, I’m finally ready to let go of TTM, my best friend and worst ennemy. It took some hard work to heal the trauma that caused it, and to learn how TTM works for me. Now, it is more like a " bad habit", this is why I decided that the best for me is now to treat it like an addiction. Because it feels like it. I even have craving sometimes. I also fall in the “all or nothing” trap with TTM.

Disclaimer : By no mean I say that TTM (or dermatillomania) is a " true addiction". To be honest, I don’t really know. But it truly helps me to approach it like that, particulary at that point of my healing process.

About this topic : I’ m aware that a lot of specialise forums on this subject already exist. I just want to create a small room on this app for us to share our sobriety journey. :slight_smile:

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Thank you for your reply :sunflower: happy to know that I’ m not alone. you are more that welcome here to talk about your journey with self-injuries, if you feel like it. :slight_smile:

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My daughter used to pull too. She lost an entire eyebrow and almost a full eye of lashes. It stressed me so much to watch her do this and I couldn’t do anything, unless I tied her hands behind her back.

:disappointed:

Don’t apologize about sharing here. No condition is more deserving of help here.

:heart:

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It’s the longest bad habit I’ve had! And it’s a genetic thing (disorder? Addiction?). I truly feel I get addicted to pulling my hair (not pulling it out, but that’s a consequence). Whatever it is, it is shitty.

Thanks for sharing!!

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I was a skin picker. Finger tips. Sometimes so much they would bleed.

I say “was” because after about a month or two of sobriety from booze I looked down and realized all of my fingers were healed completely for the first time since I could remember.

Somehow either from just being sober, or from my recovery program, I guess my base anxiety level just dropped or something. I hadn’t even been consciously trying to stop picking.

Now though, I notice and see it as a warning sign. Cuz sometimes I’ll catch myself just starting to pick again. But sober I stop, take a breath, and ask myself “what’s up?” instead.

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I was a skin picker. Finger tips. Sometimes so much they would bleed

Same here! It was constant for decades, along with nail biting. I was always ashamed for anyone to see my hands - fingers always sore and bleeding. For me, sobriety made it much, much better. Now, anxiety very occasionally prompts some nail biting, but overall - such improvement.

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Lordy, yes. Making loose fists trying to hide fingertips under. People probably thought I was constantly looking for a fight.

Or pointing with my pinky, dainty as I am. :face_with_monocle:

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Thank you :sparkling_heart:

I understand that it could be very steessfull to see a loved one do this. When your daughter do this, she feels good, that is all the stress that is accumulate in her mind that makes her suffer. Yes a trich crisis is schoking to watch, but for what I’ve learned, TTM is a symptom not the problem.

When I was young, my parents were very stressed and frustrated by my TTM. This only made me feel more stressed and therefore resulting in more pulling. I think your daughter don’t have the tools to manage her stress/emotions. TTM is a secure bubble. You can help her : listen to her without judging, help her to manage her emotions, maybe contact a therapist. N-acetylcystein supplements seems to help too, according to recent studies.

(" N-acetylcysteine in the Treatment of Trichotillomania" by Ana Rita Rodrigues-Barata, Antonella Tosti, […], and Francisco Camacho-Martínez)

But you can’t do all the work for her. This is her TTM, not yours. Please don’t blame yourself. Protect yourself too. :herb::sparkling_heart:

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Congratulations !! This is amazing. And without even paying attention, you stopped. Yes, it is probably a sign of stress. You story is very inspiring to read. I wish someday I could use Trich as a tool too. You made something usefull out of your dermatillomania, a signal to listen to yourself. Amazing :dizzy:

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Yes exactly! I feel the same! It feels very addictive. Please feel free to tell your story here if you feel like it :slight_smile:

Congratulations !! You inspire me. Thank you for sharing :blossom:

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I’ve always done that too; I never knew/know why I did, but I was always embarrassed of my fingernails. I still do a little on my right thumb; I actually lost that nail many years ago and it’s still funky. My sister was always horrified at my thumbs.
My nails are so strong now and they look pretty good.

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I agree that it isn’t the problem but the symptom (or solution…if you will). It’s really no different then why I drank. Alcohol was not my problem but my solution. In that way I say it is just as much of an addiction as any other here.

Fortunately my daughter did stop pulling and she has lovely bushy eyebrows now!!! But her dress is still there. Sadly she now reacts by shutting down from the world. She does see a therapist so I hope things will improve.

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Well thank you. For sure it’s still with me, but glad it’s so much better now.

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same! i did it for years. its gotten MUCH better, but was bad for many years.

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Honestly dermatillomania is the one I have struggled with the most. I think it’s a subset of OCD. I’ve tried hypnotherapy, gloves, I keep my nails short, everything. I wish so much there was a ‘cure’. I attack my arms and shoulders mostly and the scars and sight of it is what embarrasses me and gets me the most. Then I feel shame, then I feel guilt, then stress, then the stress drives me to do it more. I’ll sit in front of the mirror and just dissociate for hours destroying my face. Has anything helped for anyone else? I’ve also been a self injurer for years and have a hard time with that as well, perhaps the picking ties in with that because there’s a self inflicted pain aspect, but who knows. I hate it.

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Thank you for sharing! I understand you so much. I dissociate too in front of the mirror ( but I pull my hair). What has work for me a is to try to return to reality. Yes your skin is normal, your skin is beautiful. You toughts are distorted because you feel stressed and so you enter in this obssessive mindset to distract yourself. At least for me it has help. But this is hard. It is a long way to deconstruct this toughts, I still have them every two or three days now. When the rush comes it is so hard. It is like a physical need. But it is an illusion. And please dont blame yourself. You didn’t choose this. I don’t have and magic trick to help you sadly. Dray strong!

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Happy to read that! She will learn to manage her stress I am sure. Congratulation to you for your sobriety journey with alcool. This is huge :slight_smile:

Hello everyone, thank you all for your stories and for your inspiring recovery journey ! Today is my 6th day sober. I’ve never been so far. This was not always easy. I’ve had cravings and unwanted thoughts. The need to pull was strong sometimes. To help myself, I visualise the need to pull as a wave that comes and go.
Reading your story has also help me a lot. I don’t feel alone in this anymore. Your beautiful recovery stories give me strenght and hope. Thank you!
If you have and tip to help please feel free to share it here :slight_smile:

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So I did something along the lines of hair pulling but it wasn’t exactly pulling. All my child hood I would scratch my scalp. I was a clean child. Showered and Or bathed daily and washed my hair regularly. But I would scratch my scalp so badly that it would be weeping a form of liquid. I still remember the smell of it till this day. I would have wet patches, large ones, on areas of my scalp and when I washed my hair the pain was unbearable… I would do it in my sleep because I would wake up with wet patches on my pillow where my head slept… This was all through Primary school and high school… I still remember the anxiety and stress and concern it caused me when I’d realised that my head was leaking the liquid again. It would bleed. And then when it dried up it would happen all over again… It traumatised me. My mother didn’t do anything about it. All I remember was that me as a child in primary school, having to go up to the shops on my own to the chemist to buy some special blue shampoo for it. … When I see that bottle in the chemist now till this day I have the most horrible feelings surface remembering it… I never found out why it happened or what it was caused by… Now as an adult, when my hair started thinning recently, I completely freaked out thinking about the horrific feelings I experienced as a child and realised our experience as kids effect us now as adults. Horrible experience.

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