[Removed by @System]
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dude i know exactly what u mean. Coming out of it leaves ya feeling like an awkward teenager just starting high school, u dont even know how to talk to a girl without offering them drugs or both of u getting drunk first. u go to AA tho right? Ask @Englishd to teach u how to work that 13th step or at least make the Derek diaries thread public again so we can read the playbook (sry D, but it is the tough love thread…)
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I dunno if u wanna follow play by play … You will have a kid within a month…
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Lmao, TWO even. I cant say i blame him a bit tho, and poor Shay got stuck with the raw deal on that one…imagine bein stuck with that hot mess of a baby daddy for the rest of ur life 
@Mephistopheles no doubt, i dont trust myself that much just yet either. He does work the hell out of the program tho, i think thats a big requirement to pulling it off successfully. Ive been trying to stay far away from anyone else with an addiction on that front. Lately ive been hanging out with my best friends fiancee’s best friend under the mutual agreement that neither of us catches them feels but that opens up an entirely different set of problems 
lol
Lol, ikr…and if it doesnt work out im gonna have to start scheduling appointments to hang out with him when she isnt around and his wife is gonna end up hating me and shes the only girl hes ever dated that liked me lol (to be fair to his exes tho it is kinda hard to like somebody that rolls into town at 2 am bangin on ur door drunk as hell wanting to party and crash on ur couch lol) We’ve been keeping it at arms length so far but their wedding is coming up in June and i got a feeling thats gonna make it worse
Awww shyt …you already got the calender marked for the lucky nite already dont ya!
friends always trying to play match maker…lol
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This really resonates with me. In an IOP session I listened to a person explain a story of near relapse after heading to the liquor store. I said to him that it sounds like you haven’t fully decided to be done with it. He was very defensive and explained that’s why he was there. I don’t know if I helped but I said to make the decision instead of trying to make the decision. It’s honestly so much easier to let the rest of recovery proceed. I spent years trying to stop and when I allowed myself to make the decision to stop, it felt like a my mind clicked. Anyway, thanks for the post.
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I gotta say that I’m pretty thankful for all the relapse/I can’t do this posts because it keeps it green for me. Everytime someone goes back out it reminds me how bad it is out there. Everytime someone posts all their bullshit excuses I can remember all the bullshit that prevented me from actually getting better.
Side note: It’s amazing that all these people who can find the time to get fucked up every day can’t find the time to do anything recovery related. Like where the fuck did all that time go? Also stop using your kids as an excuse as to why you can’t find time to get recovery. You found plenty of time to ignore, or neglect, them when you were drinking. Trust me, missing out on an hour a day to hit a meeting will save them hours of therapy in the future. Also spare me the “I was a great parent when I was drinking”. You weren’t. You were mediocre at best, but I assure you that every person here is a better parent when they are sober. Point blank period. Anyone who says otherwise is delusional.
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Post it here. If nothing else it helps me. I’m not immune from those actions and behaviors. My stern warnings apply to me as much as anyone… I don’t rest on my laurels. This thread reminds me every day to treat my disease. If I don’t all this awesome stuff I have will disappear
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I think that people who are preparing themselves will connect with this thread. Like, they need to be finally committed towards recovery.
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Now that is what I think some forget. I do wonder how when you have years instead of days under your belt, you can forget the work and drink again. Surely if you are working at it daily you would remember why you are doing it.
I know it’s still early days for me, but when I see long timers posting about falling off I think “why?” It scares me in one way because that could be me one day, but as I stand now I feel as long as i remind myself daily nothing is going to change my mind set.
And don’t even get me started on the people who do a couple of weeks and days and say " I can’t do this!"
If something you are doing isn’t working be prepared to CHANGE YOUR LIFE COMPLETELY!!!
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I feel as long as i remind myself daily nothing is going to change my mind set.
Rest assured, you are correct! Drinking again does not ever need to be in your future, if on a daily basis you remain grateful, humble, prayerful & mindful of where you came from 
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Yes! Yes! Yes!
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I know for me the tough love has been very helpful BUT I absorb it slowly. It takes time.
I think a lot of us are like that though. We might hear/read/see something, it might not be of interest, but the sub concious gets hold of it and then one day it’s like bam! Why didn’t I think of that!
This is the reason why we should be open minded, especially when approaching something alien to our normal life!
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I read this thread daily, but since I agree with the points made and have nothing to add, I don’t comment. Reading this thread keeps me mindful about actively working on my recovery and not becoming complacent.
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It hits a nerve, I can pretty much gaurantee it.
So what I want to say so many times is “Don’t ask how to fix/deal with your consequences. Ask about stopping your addiction.” Don’t just report a relapse and bemoan your failure. Ask for help!
And then I remember the 18 years between my first AA meeting and my permanent sobriety. And how there were times I was completely at sea, so clueless how to make myself feel better because I could not imagine a life without drinking and knowing that if I continued drinking it would never get better.
I was hoping, in a childish, fantasy way, that it would all get better with no effort on my part. Like @MoCatt said
Prior to that? I had just never stopped being a drunk.
I guess what happened when I hit bottom is that I flipped from being a drunk to being an alcoholic. That’s when I turned away from drinking as a solution (and a damned poor one the last 10 years of it) toward recovery and sobriety.
So I don’t say the things that first pop into my head. I try to offer my experience instead of shoulding or advice. I do offer my years in the wilderness as a cautionary tale if that seems to be appropriate. I am so grateful to be on a well marked path back to the light today.
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This is why I take a meeting to the jail at least twice a month and why I hang out in this forum. The consequences that are so be to these folks have all happened to me and are guaranteed to repeat if I relapse.
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