Truth and tough love


#1033

So I thought I would get some truth here and I gotta share, I have been badgered by a guy( I was seeing for a couple of years) since Monday about going out this Saturday to a club to see a band a place I know, I texted it doesn’t feel right and not sure about going out, made loads of excuses and he made me feel like I have a fear of going out, and that I am a misery and that I am depressed, it’s made me feel quite shit this week and I have been a bit moody at work and a little tetchy at times with my kids because I am unsure in my mind… I know that I am right keeping myself safe and even tho I would love to dance I just feel its not quite the right time and he got in contact because ‘I am not in a relationship with alcohol now’ ( I was a bit a spiteful drunk at times by text and avoided him a lot when I was drinking which resulted in us not seeing each other for 4 months) so I haven’t seen him, and I am blowing him out. I am happy with my decision to not go out but I have also avoided going out with him when he was giving another option (which he did offer) like cinema… Because I also don’t want loads of emotions coming up when I am still on bambi legs… Which led to a slam of the phone down… :expressionless::expressionless::flushed:… Just want to stay in, in my routine, work, home, kids for now. And just angry a little that I have been called depressed and a misery… But also know I have quite a few amends to make there somehow too! Wow. Hope its not confusing like I am!


#1034

You owe him nothing. And you deserve better than someone that makes you feel bad, uncomfortable, or guilty. Trust your gut :two_hearts::bird:


#1035

Man that was a super quick reply, thanks so much! :pray::rainbow:


#1036

Sounds like a guy that doesn’t want to take no for an answer, and that’s definitely the type of guy to aviod right now. Good for you on sticking with your guns!


#1037

Can it not just be that there are people here, like me, who do not have a God shaped hole in them?

It doesn’t matter what manifestation this ‘God’ takes, I don’t hate it, i just simply don’t believe in it.


#1038

That’s fine, but there’s some people that are all “fuck God, yadda yadda yadda” and then “God’s not real!!” It’s very confusing. Like he’s either real and you hate him or he’s not real and you have no feelings. I can understand being against religion, but God is not religion.


#1039

I’ve just seen how bad my spelling was lol. I so need to get stronger glasses :joy:


#1040

Don’t let him get to you. As has been said, you owe him nothing. And the way he reacted…!! You are you and nobody has the right to make you feel otherwise. :grinning: Keep smiling.


#1041

I like what [quote=“SinceIAwoke, post:295, topic:48167”]
My higher power is not an external being, certainly not the paternalistic, misogynistic, vengeful, unknowable magician of my youth.

My higher power is my true self, and it is the energy that flows through me and between us and connects all matter together. It is the community. It is the feeling of assurance and equanimity that is now deep rooted in me.
[/quote]

I like this… :top:


#1042

Thank you for replying :rainbow:


#1043

:grinning:
Well, I know I put my wife through crap like that when we first met. Get narky if she said no to going out, or not doing what I wanted. I had my own issues at the time and she had nothing to do with them.


#1044

Well rest assured you made the right choice. Don’t let him freeload off the space in your head for free.


#1045

I think you might be thinking too singularly in terms of God being God in the traditional definition were all familiar with based on religion. Just the little bit i know about you id be willing to say in you case music is the “God” of your understanding and that Les Paul is the vessel through which “he” speaks. I had a very similar outlook when i first started AA being a lapsed christian and seeing the word God in so many of the steps. The way it was explained to me as i was balking about it is that God is what gets you through your day and gives you a reason to keep going from one day to the next. Until our sobriety date Alcohol and whatever drugs we were on were fulfilling that role for us, post sobriety its up to us to determine what it is, you can have more than one and it doesnt have to be any of the ones predefined by any religion.


#1046

Josh, are you secretly like 80yrs old… and just look super young?? :smile: So wise & well spoken :hugs:


#1047

The last part came str8 from my sponsor lol, he isnt 80, closer to 65 but dude has seen some ish from what i know about him


#1048

God is not religion…tell that to the believers :wink:

Edit: My beef is with religion…and I hope I’ve made it clear…
I live in a country that was raped by christianity for some 500 years and they destroyed our culture the best they saw fit…Now that we are more secular by the day…we are also by the united nations measurement the happiest nation in the world…slowly building the society we should be, without a religious fascism taking place.
If someone doesn’t understand what this religious fascism is that I’m talking about…christianity came with violence…it made it’s place with violence and oppression…it was less than 200 years ago that if you wouldn’t turn up to church on sunday, you would be publicly whipped…
Now this same organisation lives on with smile on it’s face…never ever to have even concidered apologising for anyone for their actions…thank GOD, nearly all of us have turned away from that bullshit. UGH…
And NO we can’t get our culture back…Not like it was before someone thought their truth was more important than someone elses.


#1049

Hey! You’re from the God Blessed HAPPIEST NATION ON EARTH! Whassamatta U?


#1050

I couldn’t be put indoors for church on my days off from school, so that’s enough.


#1051

Thats why I used the term ‘God shaped Hole’. Its me controlling what sounds come out of the Les Paul. I hear you, totally but ‘God’, whether it be religiously defined or any other which way, I don’t believe in. I hold my self completely accountable for my own actions. I’ve said before, I would love to have the same comfort that people get from whatever it is they fill their God shaped hole with but for me, I can’t subscribe to it.

But your thoughts are interesting to read :slight_smile:


#1052

God can also be a god within yourself. That you live your life thru this god. You pray to him as a father not asking for materialistic things but to keep you content , confident , perservere through tasks and strong everyday. Some may think that things that happen could be a coincidence of life or a answered prayer. To me it doesnt matter if its either. What ever god you believe in is on you… If its working for you then dont fix it… We all have different perspectives of god. As you see we dont debate or criticize ones beliefs to be greater then another persons beliefs.