Truth and tough love


#1173

At my last meeting the guy sitting beside me was totally sleeping through the entire meeting (you know, the head sinks and then snaps back up thing). But he was there!!! That is all that mattered. I don’t know what his story was. Maybe he was up all night nursing his dying father. I won’t judge what someone else is doing.


#1174

Understood. But it still pisses me off. Not a big deal actually as regards the recovering work im able to go through with the help of aa :blush:


#1175

Totally. Phones are so damned prevalent in our society (and I am SOOOO guilty of it), we can’t spend any time just BEING with other humans.


#1176

The three truths I’ve learned:

  1. I’m not in control of what happens to me, only my reactions. (Spoiler: My HP is in control).

  2. My way isn’t the only way.

  3. The mirror shows me who is to responsible for all my problems.

I remind myself of these everyday.


#1177

Dearest Dan,
ive a lot to learn from you.
Humbly yours,
Hanna


#1178

Only thing I can control at a meeting is what I do. Just me and my cup coffee!!


#1179

This…


#1180

“If you listen to the trees, you’ll hear a thousand tales of those who walked the path before you.”

That’s a line from a song I wrote like 5 years ago called “The Journey”. In a way, this forumn is like the trees that echo the stories for us to hear. I’m no one special, I’m just giving back what I’ve taken in. :blush:


#1181

Someone on my next door app gave advice to another member that was looking to open a small bakery in the mall. He’s all about the truth and tough love. Pretty much solid advice for life-see #9.


#1182

Ouch. That’s just painful to read.


#1183

Beautiful words with deep message. You are talented :star2::pray:


#1184

no doubt…i wish id seen it about 12 years ago tho lol


#1185

First before you make amends you should really have a solid foundation in recovery, but I doubt many people are going to wait until they are ready.

So if you really must rush into making amends please remember this: Amends are to make the other person feel better, not yourself. If you think you deserve forgiveness you better be ready to earn it. If you aren’t, then you aren’t ready to make amends. Are you ready to pay back that money you stole? Can you listen to a family member call you a piece of shit for all the things you’ve done? Can you handle your ex tell you they never want to talk to you again? If you answered no to any of those questions then you ain’t ready.


#1186

Yep, everyone always wants to rush into the half-hearted amends first thing and expect the reaction from everyone to be like flipping a switch. It never works that way and guess why? Because they still think youre a peice of shit, now guess what?..You ARE still a peice of shit just a remorseful one, but dont worry, youre working on changing that…its what sobriety is all about, but it takes time and a fair bit of learning and self discovery first. Im guilty of this one myself and those halfassed attempts are just gonna make it harder to make real amends once weve worked our way up to that step.


#1187

In fact the whole damn process takes time…


#1188

Slip vs relapse? More like slip = relapse. I’m sure there’s plenty of headstones out there saying “but it was only a slip”. The first one you take when leaving sobriety is the most dangerous. Your tolerance is low, and you have no idea what you are putting in to your body. Any recovery program that tells you a slip is ok is bullshit. Oh but you stopped at just one? Well let me shake your fuckin hand. Just ignore all those people that died from just one. I’m sure it won’t be you.


#1189

Love this. And we own a business, looks like a great app :+1:t3:


#1190

Some people will never fully forgive you… unless they feel you completely understand their pain.


#1191

Agreed. Slips are not a rite of passage. They are not a given. Nor are they a foregone conclusion… They are a dangerous move in an arrogant game of Russian roulette with your sobriety.


#1192

The test of life as an inactive addict . You can choose to slip or stay sober. I can predict my life sober i cant predict what another hit or drink may do. All it takes is one bad experience to ruin or end your life…