That my friend is a double edge sword for me 
Wanna hear how stupid you sound when you start reasoning with your addiction and justifying your decision to substitute your doc with a “less harmful” one? It’s funny as hell til you realize we all sounded like that when we were rationalizing our stupidity promising to only drink on the weekends and after 5 pm or smoke weed instead of shooting dope.
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I’ve been hesitant to post here much because it appears many people don’t heed the warning that this thread isn’t full of hugs. Yes, I gain inspiration from many of the posts I see here. No, a post on this thread is not a shot at any one person.
But seriously, can we stop acting like a relapse is normal? It’s not. Oh and if you keep going out after 30 days then it’s your fault. Not your program (if you actually have one), not stress, not your mean ole boss. It’s you. You are the reason you relapse. About once every week or two I hear about someone who relapsed and died. On here you never know about those people. They just stop posting. Is that how you want to end up? A forgotten name on TS?
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Sugar-coated lies and half-truths are not kindness and love. Nice drill-instructors, soft-hearted Sergeants, and weak-willed Lieutenants
get privates killed. You keep doing what you do.
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@Englishd @Yoda-Stevie. Agree with all the above. Compassion is different from sugar coating and I think that’s good to show and you both usually do so just keep at it and @Yoda-Stevie. Don’t go anywhere we need you even if you don’t need us anymore 
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I’m just sick of seeing people dying. I really am. I trained a father on Narcan the other day because his son keeps relapsing. I gave him my number to have his son call me. I doubt I’ll hear from him. I’m sick of looking on Facebook and seeing all of my dead friends I met in rehab. I’m sick of going to meetings and hearing about another funeral coming up because someone went back out. I’m sick of watching my clients slowly kill themselves with alcohol.
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In the United States drug and alcohol overdoses are the leading cause of death for people under 50.
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The problem some people have with this sort of tough love is they view anything they dislike as having malice behind it.
I have been fortunate to know @Englishd for these many months. The guy I know has tons of compassion and moreover incalculable empathy. He is a true leader, who knows the way, shows the way, and goes the way. He’s chosen to walk the hard and disciplined path that leads to freedom. It even shows in his feet…
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You know, I’ve been to war. The real kind, with bullets and bombs and bad guys. This colors the perceptions of anyone experiencing it. Not the movement of armies on maps, major strategies executed. War, at it’s most basic, is a mass of individual, personal struggles, victories, and tragedies.
I choose to view addiction as a war, in which I am but an individual participant. I will do what I need to do to win my daily battle, and hopefully show others how they might press forward and win theirs. Some choose to view it in other terms. Perhaps they can’t conceptualize it the same way. What war taught me is that the battlefield has a way of consuming soft soldiers.
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But you can’t scream your frustration at them and change them you know that even though it’s what you want as would I in your shoes. I’ve only lost one friend to alcohol . She was my best friend in a sense that she knew the real me though we didn’t really socialize. She died at 42 leaving 4 kids and she was a beautiful soul. Who loved her family. Not enough you might think. But she did. The addiction just held her too tight. You would think that would be enough to stop me ever drinking again but it wasn’tt. I don’t binge drink I rarely get shit faced(except when I was with my ex hence the recent break up) but I have been an evening drinker every night for more years than I care to remember. More than is healthy for sure and I can feel the effects sometimes. But I still struggle and I’m moving forward a bit at a time. A day at a time , sometimes s minute at a time but maybe once @Englishd I felt annoyed by your advice. But as time has gone on I’ve realised the wisdom in it and that sometimes what may seem like bluntness and frustration from you is just you wishing you could just make people GET IT. And @Yoda-Stevie you always say what needs said in the minimal way as is your way and is concise and to the point . Both approaches are very welcome and don’t ever stop being yourself. We all need both approaches x
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Tough,but perfect 
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Sadly we can’t change anyone, but we can help influence the way they think. I remember hearing some things, that at the time seemed inconsequential at the time, that really stick with me to this day. When I went back to the same rehab for the second time in 6 months, my counselor asked me why I fucked up. His exact words were, “You did so well, how did you fuck it up” and I will always remember that.
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That’s the thing that I think when people relapse. Not the ones in early days who are still trying to find what works, but the ones who have some time, and then go out. Wtf. It’s like the holiday drinking thread, wtaf!!
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I think it reminds us that nevertheless how many days we have won, we remain alcoholics/addicts. And if we dont work it the failure gets closer.
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I know why I relapsed. Because after rehab I didn’t do anything recovery related. I thought living in a quiet mountain town would just cure me… Instead of engaging in recovery I isolated. I didn’t treat my mental health. Allowed myself to go crazy. Then I did the only thing I knew how to do. Get high and drunk. I used to hitchhike 200 miles one way to buy dope. I did this weekly.
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That relapse led to me being homeless in Pittsburgh. I was strongly considering throwing myself off the 40th street bridge but I was to cowardly.
Or you still had something to live for? Even if you didnt know it
My higher power made that decision for me. When I thought I didn’t want to live he told me that I just didn’t want to live like that. Then he sent the rehab van to come pick my ass up. Again. And when I left the safety of rehab I got down on my hands and knees and begged him to help me. That was December 1, 2017. I have been through some shit since then, but never once did I turn my back on my higher power and never once did he let me return to my old life.
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This!! We can conjure the strength to change if we have the courage to ask for help.
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So true. As I approach each milestone, I remind myself that I am only one drink away from ruin. This is the drink that matters…the first drink.
One drink is not an inconsequential thing. It should be treated for what it is: that first compromise which leads to others. It’s the first step on the easy path. The ruinously easy path.
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