Truth and tough love


I was listening to a podcast where the gentleman being interviewed was serving life in prison when he had an epiphany, in order to find serenity he had to change. He ended up going to AA in prison, but he wasn’t a drunk, nor did he do drugs. His issue was that he was an angry person and that anger manifested in physically hurting other people.

His point was that whether its drugs, alcohol, sex, self harm, harming others, it doesn’t matter, the 12 steps can help anyone.

He ended getting out of prison and is an author now. I wish I could remember his name, it was a very inspirational interview.


You would not believe the amount of people I blamed for literally anything in my active addiction. I blamed a rehab I chose to leave (I dunno), my girlfriend for not being supportive (she drove me to the rehab and then stuck with me though she didn’t have to, my parents for giving me to much freedom and money, my parents for not giving me enough freedom and money, my addict friends who I continued to hang out with, my boss for firing me for being a shit employee, my outpatient because I failed a drug test, life because it wasn’t fair. I could probably keep going with this list.


It should be noted that once I found at addiction was a disease I avoided blaming myself. I ignored the part where they said my recovery was my responsibility. Instead, I decided to live this self fulfilling prophecy where I used drugs bc I was an addict and I was an addict bc I used drugs. I was like the Yoda of how to continue being an addict.


I’m just tired of being an asshole and hurting others. Prisons easy, using is easy. But life is so much better clean. Remembering the literature, remembering peoples names from meetings. Little things I just didn’t fucking care about before. It’s a disease but eventually it can be arrested in the rooms of NA or AA and we can live without active addiction. I’m blessed and grateful to be alive today and @Englishd, I love reading some of these hard truths because I can relate and understand


Likewise I know one who was a stone cold criminal, never any interest in drinking or using. Still see them at the odd meeting from time to time getting straight.

And in myself, recognizing as the haze comes off my drinking, how much the addictive behavior colors just about everything I do when left unchecked. Kinda like @VSue said.

Somehow my program (the steps) works on all that stuff, too.

I mean. It’s worth a shot, right?


I totally agree with this. The 12 steps is basically therapy…for anyone…for anything.



Sorry (not sorry) but its true…


Yes, efficient therapy free of charge. How is it possible in this,world… i love aa :heart:

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I watched a documentary film about Cary Grant. Younger ones to know that he was a great movie star esp during 40’s. Anyway, he had a difficult, unhappy childhood before joining circus, vaudeville & film industry. Problems with alcohol and women and feeling he was wearing a mask all the time. He did a lot of work to get rid of that feeling & said: “people are just a bunch of molecules, untill they learn to know who they really are”. I think thats a great saying.


Some quick hitters for ya this morning.

  1. NA beer is dumb and if you drink it you haven’t changed alcoholic behaviors. Get a soda.

  2. Of course AA won’t keep you sober if you only went to one meeting and didn’t do anything or put on work.

  3. So doing it alone didn’t work the last 3 times, but you really don’t want to get help? Let me know how that goes.

  4. Hope is not a plan.

  5. Hope and “I really want this!!!” Is also not a plan.

  6. Why are you scared about people knowing in your recovery? You weren’t concerned about your reputation when you had a lampshade on your head at the Christmas party.


“Any tips or tricks?”

No. There aren’t any hacks or tricks. You can’t talk or fool your way out of addiction. You have to fight.

“How do I just say “no” to my drug of choice?”

You take the tip of your tongue, touch it to the roof of your mouth, and then make a “no” sound.

“My addiction is different…”

It’s that erroneous thinking that got you in this mess to begin with. You know people become addicted to drugs and alcohol. You just thought you were “different” and it wouldn’t happen to you.


So how much do you value sobriety? Enough to put your life on hold for a little bit so you can work on yourself? Can you take a few months and miss those concerts you love so much? I hope so bc if not you are in for a rough ride. As the ole saying goes "anything you put in front of your recovery you are going to lose.

Sobriety is about working hard so you can get the life you want. It’s not the other way around. Addicts love instant gratification, but that’s not how recovery works. Would you ask your boss to pay you for work you haven’t done yet?

Once you find recovery you can absolutely do all those things you want to do. But is it really worth resetting your clock over and over again so you can see a band play?


So there are some people who have some decent time on here who offer a lot of wisdom. Honestly, I don’t think I’m there yet, but I definitely repeat what they say (and old timers I know in real life). We don’t offer advice because it sounds good, or it’s what we think people want to hear. It’s because we have lived it. We have experienced it. We have used that same advice to get ourselves sober. So while it may seem “generic” to you, it’s actually spot on advice for getting sober. If you want someone to hug you and tell you it’s ok then go to therapy. If you want someone to tell you the truth about alcoholism and what it takes to get sober then you are in the right spot. There’s a gentleman here who has been sober since 1986. So when he says maybe try a meeting maybe you should try and listen.


I’ve never heard this quote, but it’s very accurate.


" I want to lose weight. Is there a pill or a drink or some other quick, easy and painless way to shed the weight, without sacrificing anything? Don’t tell me to eat less, eat better, and exercise more. That’s too generic. I’m special. You don’t understand."


I thought @Yoda-Stevie was going to say. “I want to lose weight. Can I put that in front of my recovery and lose it?”


The leg fast diet. Don’t eat for a day, then cut off your leg. Ta-da you just lost 20 lbs. Same thing happens when you take shortcuts in sobriety. You cut your legs off and can’t walk later.


Everyone in recovery…NO, you’re not special. You’re not different.

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So true. In the 4 short months I have been sober, I have passed on a lot of events that I would have normally said yes to. But I have often asked myself the question, “did I actually used to enjoy this crap, or was the factor of drinking being involved in the equation what made my alcoholic self enjoy it?” I genuinely do not believe I have missed out on much in comparison to gaining 4 months of sobriety.

Sobriety changes people. Or brings me back to who I was supposed to be before drinking changed me.