If you have to make an effort to control your drinking then your drinking already has control over you. Even if you are able to make it work for a little bit.
Normal people don’t have to count drinks, or time them, or set limits. They don’t have to think about those things. If you have to do those things the alcohol has already won.
I only win if I don’t drink. I lose even if I manage to keep it at one drink. Why? Because I couldn’t say “no” to one drink.
Lot of people who have been on the forum before are coming back after relapse, some with quite significant time behind them!
One wonders if they actually took any note of what people say on here and probably said themselves when they first started. " I know one drink will send me back, I can never drink again!" Or words to that effect.
And yet they still think that they can be “normal”
Well at least I’m someone who is actually going to learn from them!
I’m glad they are back and sharing. We all need to hear it. I know I’m not immune to a relapse but the reminder they provide keeps me a bit further away from a drink.
No one is immune no.
And if it was easy there’d be no one on here.
I just feel sorry for the guys who have quality time up.
There is also the fear that it could happen to me, so it’s a reminder to never ever let your guard down! Even after a couple of years.
Just makes me wonder why though?
Some of us still have some drinking left to do. They have to get knocked down a few more times before it sticks. The only difference between me and them, is I did it pre-forum.
I know I have at least one more drunk in me. I just don’t know if I have another quit in me. It the certainty of the former, and uncertainty of the latter that keeps me saying “no” to the drink that matters…the first drink.
So true. This describes all my other quits. Never again.
And normal drinkers, non drinkers, and non addicts all look at us and ask, “didnt they learn anything growing up”. At least for me, public schools taught the evils of drugs and indulging in to much alcohol. Yet , here I am.
We are addicts. We have a severe thinking disorder, we think we can control that which we cannot. I am one of “those” as I darn near threw it all away.
This is me as well, I think that’s a good thing to vocalize for others just starting out. I remember I really started feeling like I was drinking too much back in 2011 but even before that I used drinking (heavily/solely) as a coping mechanism for: loneliness, depression, insecurities.
Edit: I didn’t become sober until April 2018. That’s a lot of time in between knowing I had a problem and doing anything about it.
I’m a chronic relapser. Got in a 12 step group about 25 years ago. Over half a dozen times, I’ve had stretches of sobriety lasting over 200 days. Longest I’ve ever been sober was 2 years. It’s been hard surrendering over my DOC to God. It provides an incredible high. I can’t help that it feels so good.
But I’m learning more with each relapse. I’m getting better at this. And maybe I won’t stay sober this time around, but I’m not giving up, ever.
And even if it takes me the rest of my life to get there then it will all be worth it.
A wonderful visceral image of sobriety.
Agreed. I’ve had periods of long sobriety. But, I’m never going to give up fighting. It’s so difficult to fight the drug of lust and sex. I feel like it’s around me all the time.
We always find what we are looking for. Like was talked about earlier in this thread, the law of attraction seems to be a very real and very valid thing.
Stop blaming other people for your relapses. Unless someone physically held you down and poured booze down your through, stuck a needle in your arm, or put a crackpipe up your ass then it wasn’t them who got you high. It was you. I spent a long time blaming others for all my relapses and problems and all that did was keep me high and drunk. Once I realized that I am the creator of my own demise I was able to take my finger of the self-destruct button.
Is this a thing? I mean, I don’t want to kink shame if it is…
I would have tried it if it were . I was a dirty dumpster addict. Shooting up in bathrooms with questionable water. Smoking crack behind dumpsters. I rented mini-van once, cancelled my credit card and didn’t return it for a month. That was my little druggie buggie.
I just read a book about addictions and there was a good analysis on why people go sex or porn addicts. Its about facing other people (mainly opposite sex) but mainly facing yourself and your deepest fears inside. Does this sound familiar?
“Once I realized that I am the creator of my own demise I was able to take my finger of the self-destruct button” …,
this is an issue I have with how you sometimes address things. You’ve just above said “once I realized” but In the same breath you’re more or less demanding that addicts stop blaming others on their relapses. How about you support and be honest with them which is expected but stop demanding they come to a realization at your pace rather than at their own which is evidently what you did and what most people do. I’m not being defensive and no one is looking babied but stop and think of how long it took you to “get it” and try not to insist others get there quicker because you’ve got the answer. Sorry if this sounds cheeky but I’m just be honest and saying that’s how you come across… and I’m not even referring to myself . No offense intended
Just sitting back here waiting for the backlash 
Please feel free to mute this thread
