56 hours since my last drink. Hadn’t eaten at all that day, blacked out and ate shit hurting myself with no recollection. I’ve had issues with binge drinking on and off the last two years but then it became constant the last few months. Quarantine made it 100x worse. I was no longer drinking for fun, I was drinking to not feel crappy and physically ill, I was drinking to try to drown out emotions that ended up coming out way worse while drunk. I become hypersexual when I drink and become disrespectful of myself in my decision making. So here I am. 56 hours sober. Feeling nauseous and exhausted but can only sleep for about an hour at at time. I may post often these first few days for the support as I dont have a sponsor yet. Please be patient with me. I’m here.
I’m a bad binge drinker too. I’m surprised I’m not locked up all the fucked shit I’ve ended up doing because of booze. I really connected with your post.
I’ve noticed for myself personally it’s been getting worse too. Or maybe I’m just getting older so the behavior feels worse - because as an adult I know better? But that doesn’t stop me drinking 15 beers after some kind of trigger or for self medicating.
Booze can be fun in moderation. Being blind drunk is never good for anyone. I become a complete different person and that’s the person people remember. No one notices when your being nice and normal because that’s expected. Be mindful of how youre feeling when you start drinking and set some goals for yourself.
Good luck to us both.
@BPD I can relate to that a lot. Its a whole different person when I am like that. I have a career, I’m a volunteer firefighter, a mom. Things that I am proud of. Things not worth losing.
I suggest reading lots here, and interacting with the various topics if you have something you should like to share. Get rest, get hydrated and eat some good food. We’ve all been in the early stages of recovery and i know it probably sucks right but it will get much better. One hour at a time, glad you’re here
Focus more on your career and kids and volunteer work. Be the best YOU possible. I try be the best bloke I can be and if I stuff up I admit it and try to do it better next time. I want to be successful and provide for my family. Its really important to me and I know booze and drugs will fizzle that slowly and painfully.
“Reach out”… I like your approach. That takes courage. Proud of you!
Same boat… I was on day 5 and then decided WTF with this quarantine, who cares!? Well I do, on day 1again and feel like a total loser. Let’s keep checking in each other?
A good old case of the fuckits… we all get them, it’s one of alcohols most famous tricks. It’s fascinating how booze rewires our brains.
don’t apologise for being on here all day, no one will judge you on here and its a great distraction. While people are on here nearly all won’t be drinking. also it’s great to be part of others journey and share in their success and support them in the hard times. Be yourself and do anything you gotta do to stay sober, nothing else matters right now apart from You.
The quarantine has some positive side effects, too. Look out for some of the meetings being held online… maybe here too? I don’t know I’m brand new on this website 
I know second hand how rough the isolation has been, I was deemed an essential worker and my wife/best friend has been stuck at home with My special needs daughter, and she is on recovery as well. The recovery movement is an entity all of its own, a very clear cut path, it’s a higher power, something you can’t alter, seek it, dive in and miracles begin to happen.
There are a lot of good online meetings - there are some resources here:
Welcome @RiverHippy, it’s good to meet you & you’re very welcome here. It’s a good step to start working your recovery and there are lots of wise souls here to help out. In the early stages it’s important to get that one day at a time mentality, and also find a support group. People you can share with, connect with, and hold yourself accountable. One good thread for that here:
Meetings are important for many people too - there are lots of good options at the first link I posted above.
Here’s another link to a great thread with specific suggestions to grow one’s sobriety. Resources for our recovery
One of the mental traps I would get caught up in was identifying myself as a binge drinker. Eventually, like @RiverHippy, I watched the interval between my binges get shorter. What I was doing was recovering physically and financially on my “off days”, preparing for my next drunk.
Over time, my tolerance for the pain and self loathing that were the price for drinking grew until I became a daily drinker, and when I got the chance, an around the clock drinker.
To recover, I needed physical and emotional support, and a clear plan of action. When I began to trust that I could and would stay sober “from pillow to pillow”, from wakening to sleeping again that day, and using the plan of action of medication, counseling and AA, then my confidence in my sobriety grew. I hope you can similarly find a path to recovery, @BPD, @RiverHippy, and @Dolse71. Blessings on your houses 
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Posting often when your new is great when I was new I posted every morning and every evening as the support I needed was here the guidance of just not my own voice was priceless welcome to ts
I’m back to day one again. I went 45 days at my longest sober stretch. I felt much better. I’m also a binge drinker. @BPD I can relate to the drunk side being what people remember. @RiverHippy I have been my strongest when I check in here frequently. Welcome!
Sorry to hear buddy ,get bk up dust off move on,I fell about aweek ago but decided once was enough to know I didn’t want any part of it
@Moe1. We don’t have Losers here. Shake that Off!
It’s a Do Over!!! I’ll keep checking on you if that’s ok!! Keep talking to us. Get rid of any Old Triggers!(places friends ect)… Just know You have Major Support here! Hold Your Head High!
Post as much as you want, that helps when you let it out negative comes out and positive recharges your brain for the next shit that happens. It has help me out alot I talk to my girlfriend alot about staying sober and it helps everyday. Be strong stay with it
It’s that time of day where the urge gets stronger. Drinking coffee and trying to distract my mind.
Thanks @Neaner! Day 2 and woke up feeling great! Part that I ate healthy yesterday and my slip was relatively minor (physical effects/amount consumed)… anyway, I plan to continue healthy living one day at a time!
You are here and that is so so important!!! All my support and prayers