For the longest time I didn’t come to terms I had a drinking problem because I could control myself while intoxicated, don’t get me wrong I have had quiet a few nights where I don’t remember what happened , but I always made sure my children were taken care , fed , bathed , dressed, fridge was full , bills were paid , the list goes on , I always made excuses to why it was okay .
Covid hit and I found myself drinking in isolation with my neighbours during the first lockdown , then that turned into drinking daily , , to the point where I was drinking 2-4 26ers a week , I would usually start between 3Pm and go until 1 -2am and haven’t stopped since (On day 2)
I have always drank at special occasions and with friends on weekends, started smoking marijuana in my 20’s , tried MDMA a few times after my 22nd birthday Then became addicted to cocaine and that addiction lasted around 8 years , beat that habit but have had a few slip ups , I was never one to even enjoy the taste of alcohol just liked that high . I have always searched for that high . But always thought it was okay because I could control myself on it.
The only time I haven’t been ‘high’ or intoxicated was when I was pregnant with my two children. I’m praying I make it through this journey not only for myself but for my children