Why did i do it

Went out last night to celebrate my daughters 17th birthday. Along with my wife and father in law. Had too much to drink and said things that i said i wouldn’t say, pretty sure an argument broke out. Now sat in the kitchen wondering what did i say. Slowly coming back to me.

9 Likes

Alcohol always turned me into an awful person, saying and doing things that where totally out of my character. Sometimes thoughts come back to me from so many years ago that i have to learn to deal with. Hopefully you can figure out where you went wrong and what you have to do to get the drinking problem addressed.

7 Likes

Im sat in the kitchen, going over in my head what went on. Thinking why oh why oh why. Ive let my wife down i told her i wouldn’t mention certain things then after drinking went and spouted out what i said i wouldn’t say. Now she doesn’t trust me.

Its one of the toughest things to do, wonder and question why. Or we can work on doing whats right get to the real problem underneath it all. Im sure your not a bad person, but what alcohol does to us makes us completely different people

5 Likes

Welcome Dave. If you’re looking to make sure this never happens again, you’re in the right place. You can choose a better sober life. I hope you will :yellow_heart:

4 Likes

Hey Dave,

I just wanted to say welcome.

I cannot imagine a drunk person being able to exercise proper judgement.

If your drinking is leading you to destructive and out of control behavior that you cannot remember the next day then you’re at the right place.

I reckon that since you’ve signed up here, you’re ready to quit. I think that’s a great decision.

I’m sorry about what happened at your daughter’s birthday yesterday. You can’t change that. But you can take steps in the future to ensure that doesn’t happen again.

8 Likes

How are you doing today on Day 1?

3 Likes

Oy; that sounds awful, Dave. I’m glad you’re back but re-read this post when you feel weak. Hang in there, buddy.

3 Likes

In the dog house. Getting the quiet treatment

I’ve been the wife in this scenario too many times to count. The promises to quit drinking were nothing but empty promises. It’s taken action to convince me otherwise. What actions are you willing to take?

5 Likes

I was just thinking I’ve been the daughter. Awful memories of any celebration.

5 Likes

Thankfully my daughter had gone to her room

1 Like

Do you want to stop drinking?

3 Likes

Hi Dave :wave: addiction is not a rational thing. You’ll never know “why”. Addiction is just “I want what I want when I want it”. That’s what addiction is. It’s not healthy or helpful or useful or fun.

You need help. We all do. There’s some links here: :innocent:

3 Likes

Yes and no. I enjoy a drink but for me it’s all or nothing. I can’t have a couple i have to have 8 or more. Then it causes problems at home

I stopped drinking last year for 200+ days so i know i can do it. It’s my plan not to drink at all over Christmas, my wife’s away in Tenerife for 6 days from 22nd December so it’s just me and my daughter so i intend to be in a siber state si we can do things during the day

I tried for years, decades, to control and enjoy my drinking. I was incapable of doing both at once. When I went dry for a day or two, I was restless, edgy, and easily upset. So if that’s your plan, I can’t help you.

I know a way to not drink and to not expect to return to drinking. And the bonus is that it is a way that I can be happy and content and at peace in my mind. it started with the commitment to not drink for one day, and to get to bed sober that night. I keep repeating that commitment up to today.

7 Likes

It’s now Wednesday morning. 3 days of getting the silent treatment/cold shoulder. I try to make conversation but just get one word replies, and the atmosphere feels strained. I have to take myself out of it.

I was a complete and total wreck when I drank. I would down about half a fifth of hard alcohol a night

It definitely caused my family a lot of grief. I apparently did “sleep walking” when I would be completely blacked out. On occasion I randomly would go into the kitchen, grab random glasses or porcelain bowls, and smash them. I had no recollection of doing those things

I would also curse at those I love and yell until my throat and lungs became hoarse

I definitely had a lot of slip ups trying to be sober and also finding just about any excuse to go out and buy alcohol

After finally quitting, I made the conscious decision to walk down the alcohol aisle to force myself to confront my demons, and it was kind of a test. I wanted to be able to walk past all the bottles and not buy anything. I only did this after I had about a year of sobriety under my belt, so I would not recommend doing this in the early stages, as it is just a trigger.

Going out for dinner though, and deciding on having a non alcoholic drink would be my goal. Even if it was a coke or some other soft drink, I knew it wasn’t good for me, but it wasn’t alcohol.

What really saved me were carbonated flavored water drinks, since it felt like an adult beverage without the alcohol. I eventually stopped drinking those as well, but that’s besides the point.

We are here for you. I believe you can do it. Sometimes, you gotta hit a low point first in order to make changes. That’s what happened to me. After a long period of my life of constant drinking, there was a point where I literally couldn’t have a drink without gagging, and then the final straw was me getting a hangover on 2x 3.2%abv beers even though I drank a lot of water to go along with it. That was when I knew my body was telling me that it could no longer handle the poison I was putting in it. It also just felt like too high of risk, and no reward. Feeling weird for a few hours was never worth the hangovers, the regrets, the hurt feelings, and pushing away those I love.

Take care and check in anytime here when you need others to talk to :slight_smile:

4 Likes

Trust is the easiest thing to lose and the hardest thing to gain. You can’t fix or re write what happened, all you can do is ensure it doesn’t happen again.

2 Likes