In the dog house. Getting the quiet treatment
I’ve been the wife in this scenario too many times to count. The promises to quit drinking were nothing but empty promises. It’s taken action to convince me otherwise. What actions are you willing to take?
I was just thinking I’ve been the daughter. Awful memories of any celebration.
Thankfully my daughter had gone to her room
Do you want to stop drinking?
Hi Dave addiction is not a rational thing. You’ll never know “why”. Addiction is just “I want what I want when I want it”. That’s what addiction is. It’s not healthy or helpful or useful or fun.
You need help. We all do. There’s some links here:
Yes and no. I enjoy a drink but for me it’s all or nothing. I can’t have a couple i have to have 8 or more. Then it causes problems at home
I stopped drinking last year for 200+ days so i know i can do it. It’s my plan not to drink at all over Christmas, my wife’s away in Tenerife for 6 days from 22nd December so it’s just me and my daughter so i intend to be in a siber state si we can do things during the day
I tried for years, decades, to control and enjoy my drinking. I was incapable of doing both at once. When I went dry for a day or two, I was restless, edgy, and easily upset. So if that’s your plan, I can’t help you.
I know a way to not drink and to not expect to return to drinking. And the bonus is that it is a way that I can be happy and content and at peace in my mind. it started with the commitment to not drink for one day, and to get to bed sober that night. I keep repeating that commitment up to today.
It’s now Wednesday morning. 3 days of getting the silent treatment/cold shoulder. I try to make conversation but just get one word replies, and the atmosphere feels strained. I have to take myself out of it.
I was a complete and total wreck when I drank. I would down about half a fifth of hard alcohol a night
It definitely caused my family a lot of grief. I apparently did “sleep walking” when I would be completely blacked out. On occasion I randomly would go into the kitchen, grab random glasses or porcelain bowls, and smash them. I had no recollection of doing those things
I would also curse at those I love and yell until my throat and lungs became hoarse
I definitely had a lot of slip ups trying to be sober and also finding just about any excuse to go out and buy alcohol
After finally quitting, I made the conscious decision to walk down the alcohol aisle to force myself to confront my demons, and it was kind of a test. I wanted to be able to walk past all the bottles and not buy anything. I only did this after I had about a year of sobriety under my belt, so I would not recommend doing this in the early stages, as it is just a trigger.
Going out for dinner though, and deciding on having a non alcoholic drink would be my goal. Even if it was a coke or some other soft drink, I knew it wasn’t good for me, but it wasn’t alcohol.
What really saved me were carbonated flavored water drinks, since it felt like an adult beverage without the alcohol. I eventually stopped drinking those as well, but that’s besides the point.
We are here for you. I believe you can do it. Sometimes, you gotta hit a low point first in order to make changes. That’s what happened to me. After a long period of my life of constant drinking, there was a point where I literally couldn’t have a drink without gagging, and then the final straw was me getting a hangover on 2x 3.2%abv beers even though I drank a lot of water to go along with it. That was when I knew my body was telling me that it could no longer handle the poison I was putting in it. It also just felt like too high of risk, and no reward. Feeling weird for a few hours was never worth the hangovers, the regrets, the hurt feelings, and pushing away those I love.
Take care and check in anytime here when you need others to talk to
Trust is the easiest thing to lose and the hardest thing to gain. You can’t fix or re write what happened, all you can do is ensure it doesn’t happen again.
Be patient and don’t make any hasty decisions while emotions are raw.
Truer words have never been spoken. Sorry you’re going through this Dave. Just stick with it. Show her you’re done. And if bad things happen when you drink I think that says a lot. Same happens to me. I fell off the wagon after 280days. I’m starting fresh and it’s never easy but lots of folks are here for support.
Im just hating not knowing im going home to after a day at work. Chatting to colleagues during the day, then going home to it may as well be an empty house.
@Dave07 ive been there. Tough love here brother. We need to pay for our consequences. It sucks big time when something so powerful takes over our lives and affects our loved ones. Might be time to give up the drink my friend. It’s not doing you or your family any good. Only advice though. You need to find your path or life balance however that may be. Show your family you are sorry by actions not words. you got this brother it will all be ok. Be true to yourself and everything else will line up.
How’s it going @Dave07? Are you enjoying your time with your daughter sober?
Yes. Went out last night to watch the new spiderman film would normally go to the pub for food and drinks but got takeaway pizza and came home instead. Had an early night up at 7:30 and planning a cycle ride whilst my daughters in bed.
That’s great to hear! Keep up the hard work on your sobriety. It’s definitely worth it.
Making new sober memories with my daughter has been a one of the best benefits.
Fell off the wagon last night. 10 cans of stella and some shots of vodka. Woke up this morning feeling crap, bad taste in the mouth head feeling dizzy and a 4 paracetamol headache. Kitchen full of pots to be washed. Need to get some shopping done but ill do it later, don’t feel i can drive at the moment just need to get my head together