A lot of folks on here suggest that newcomers “check out a meeting.” It occurred to me that we rarely say why. For years, I rolled my eyes at the thought of going to any sort of recovery meeting. I was a therapist, right? What could a meeting do for me that I could not do for myself? The reality was that I could not keep myself sober. I had tried and failed for years. The following is my experience only. In the words of @Yoda-Stevie, your mileage may vary.
When I finally went to a meeting, I did it to appease a friend. I expected little. Here’s what I found:
I walked in that meeting feeling too broken to even be there. I felt like I didn’t deserve to be around anyone decent. I was welcomed with open arms. I was given numbers of other women who had been right where I was and who genuinely wanted to help me. I was given advice to get through the first hard days. People hadn’t been that glad to see me anywhere in a long time.
My meetings keep me from feeling like the biggest piece of trash on the planet. I was very secretive about my drinking. I was immersed in lies and shame. I had done terrible things while drunk. I’ve been able to talk openly about all this, and I have found that almost everyone there has felt like me.
My meetings keep my ego in check. I am a drunk - full stop. I am not a romantic, tragic victim of my circumstances who is the only person on earth unable to get sober because I’m sooooo complex and different. I am a drunk - just like everyone else.
I’m just like everyone else! We all got to our meetings with different roads, but we share something so fundamental: we are the 10 percent of the world who have a disease and cannot drink alcohol like a “normal” person. It’s not my fault - but it’s sure as hell my responsibility to manage it.
Perhaps this is most important. I found a community of people who understand. They have struggled, and they genuinely want to help me - and themselves- stay sober. I can talk about ANYTHING with these folks. There is a level of honesty in the rooms that I’ve never found elsewhere. When I’m having a rough day? I call one of them. That’s part of it. They want to hear from me. They help me to remember why I cannot drink again.
Working the 12 steps has taught me more about myself and my thought processes than anything I have ever done. I have tools now to help live my life from a better, healthier place. Has it made my life perfect? Absolutely not - but most of the time my life feels manageable now.
It keeps me from becoming complacent. It would be so easy to think, “Oh, I got this. I can have one and be fine.” The truth is that if I have one I’ll soon be right back where I was. My meetings help me remember this.
For me, AA has been invaluable. I also know folks who are having great success with SMART recovery, SOS, Women for Sobriety, and other recovery programs. I think the common thread is that we connect with others like us - people who understand that just wishing to be sober does not work. People who can support you when you feel like picking up. People who have been there and will not enable you.
If you keep trying to do it on your own and are still finding yourself drinking and using, I cannot encourage you enough to find a recovery group who can help you. You have absolutely nothing to lose and so much to gain.
Holly, I just so love you!!! In places like this and in the meetings we find people that speak to our souls and help us get out of the mess we got ourselves in together because they’ve chewed the same dirt and understand like no “normies” ever could. We learn how to live again and be whole thanks to people that help us get there. Thank you for sharing this!!!
Number 3 really hit hard. I’m on day 6 of being sober and day 685 without smokeless tobacco. I never really thought I had a drinking problem…I didn’t have to have a drink, but when I did I didn’t want to stop. I can do this. New here but already feeling the love
Holly FTW! Today I asked my addictions counselor to explain to me why I feel so better after meetings. She said that social interaction is one of the most important things to staying healthy. More so than your weight smoking etc.
Meetings are a place with absolutely no pretense. Everyone understands. I don’t have to lie or explain. I can just be. I loathed the thought of finding meetings. Now they’re a solace. And yeah, me too Holly, I’m just a drunk. Different road to it, but I’m here now so time to change it.
Welcome, @ryry13! I came to this app on my day 1. It is a tremendous support. We’re all here for the same reason. You absolutely can do it. Glad you are here.
Well put @MoCatt, I was so against going to any sort of meeting at the beginning but actually going to them has been the best decision I ever made. You rock
After reading post after post. The motivation of the day is if you have relapsed is to hit a meeting today! Not tomorrow or next week… So many lost souls on here need guidance that only a meeting or therapy can do for them…
I feel like the better question is why not? What do you have to lose? Worst case scenario is you hate it and don’t go back. What did you lose? An hour of your time. Best case scenario is that it saves your life like it has for countless alcoholics across the world. Doing a simple cost/benefit analysis shows that it’s one of the safest bets out there
Yup, everything said here! As we know, I didn’t go the AA route, but the IOP route, along with the recovery specialist therapist and psychiatrist. But the message is still the same. No matter how much I felt like I didn’t want to go to my IOP on any given day, when it was over I was so glad I went. I learned so much! About myself, about other addicts, about people struggling to try and moderate (and not succeeding). Everything I learned there will stay with me forever! AA is free and less intensive on one’s life. If you don’t have other options, meetings of ANY KIND are always there.
At the end of the day, find SOMETHING to connect you with others.
I want what you got, 
