Howdy. Thanks for checking TMAC, I’ve been doing alright, work is getting me down but not enough to make me drink which is a good sign!
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You were going to be my next to shout to! Glad you’re ok. Plan some de-stressing, fun stuff for tonight 
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Hey to you. Hope you’re doing good. Feeling the love on Talking Sober 
. De-stressing sounds like a plan, I’ve been working out pretty hard the last couple of weeks, I think the more stressed I get the more I work out. I’m a tad worried I’m getting addicted, I feel guilty if I don’t work out but hell it sure beats getting wasted.
Glad to see you, TMAC and some familiar peeps still about though.
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@Shelfrank hope all is well. Why don’t you drop us a line.
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As long as it is perpetuating a healthy, happy life, helps you to get better at getting better each and every day, working out is a good habit to have. If it’s taking priority over other important things, like family and relationships, then you might want to dial it back.
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@AndyC555 hope you’re still trucking. Always liked your input.
Check in will ya.
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Haven’t seen @mare around in a while. Hope you are doing well!!
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@Quitter how’s it going? hope you’re still quittin on.
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I haven’t been able to connect with @Quitter for awhile, am also hoping he is okay.
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@BondJaneBond Hi there. Thank you for thinking of me and missing me. I fell down the rabbit hole of depression for many reasons and back into the hands of drinking to cope with soul hurt. I know, I know, it only makes it worse. But I was low and not equipped with the right coping mechanisms yet but intend to get there. I’m 1 full day (again) without any alcohol and hopefully fully aboard the self care train again. I’m trying to be gentle with myself. I had quite the cathartic visit with my therapist today who I didn’t see for 2 weeks because of scheduling and money and coincidentally that was when the wheels fell off.
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There she is You were missed!! Very glad you kept your therapy appointment & hope you gained some insight. Sorry it’s been extra tough for you. Keep trying, Don’t be discouraged. It took me multiple attempts before long-term sobriety stuck. I hope you feel this whole forum pulling for you ~ because we are! Keep reaching out. Keep seeking support 
️
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@Rosey I see you lurking guurl
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Two folks crossed my mind today.
@Rory_Richards, you didn’t stick around long, but I haven’t forgotten ya. Hope you are doing well, sir.
@Nicole_Roome, last time you were here things didn’t seem to be going so great for you. I hope things are different now and that you find yourself in a better, happier place.
It’s been a tough week. I’m still here, I’m trying to read more and comment less. One of my aunts got very seek and ended in the intensive care unit so I went to visit her and I honestly couldn’t handle it … I had a panic atack , I wasn’t even inside her room. I couldn’t ir brought all the memories of last year when my dad past away , and All the anxiety kicked in.
So I did the only thing I know to erase this feeling : drink , yes again , I don’t know how to deal with the pain , it’s so deep and I’m learning about how bad I need alcohol to function. This past months had been the biggest journey to see how fu&$&@ I am … I though I liked to drink, that I enjoyed , that it was fun but now I can only tell you that I need it. I don’t know how to cope with the world , if I’m happy , if I’m sad , if I’m anxious I just don’t know how to handle, it’s been so many years using alcohol that now that I only have my self … it’s so hard. I feel terrible every time I have to reset it , so I come and read and read more experiences like me. And hope this time I’ll get it right.
I love my children’s more than anything I need to get it right.
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I am so sorry to hear about your aunt and I hope she is doing better. I am also sorry to hear that you are struggling. However, I am very glad that you responded and are back on here with us. Please keep coming back. Emotions can be a very difficult thing to deal with without using alcohol, especially early on and when it’s something we have been doing for a long time – I understand that. It can be bad emotions or good ones, our brains find a way to say to us “drinking will make this better”, and it can be very sneaky. It is important to keep in mind that no matter the scenario, good or bad, drinking will not help. It is more difficult to cope without it, but that can get better with time and practice.
I think it’s also important to look at your thought patterns in these times. The more you examine them and slow down how quickly your thoughts and emotions are moving through your mind, the more aware you can be and catch thoughts that may lead you down the path to drink again. At least that works for me, it is just my experience. When you are feeling this way, just try to slow down for a moment and examine your thinking. Hopefully it can help you like it has helped me.
Again, glad to see you back here You are strong and I have confidence in you that you can do this!
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Hi there Maria @Mare - I’m only on day 10 and I’ve found so many times already that since I stopped drinking I feel like I’ve had to relearn almost everything!! In terms of my emotions, other people’s emotions, how to act and react. I realise that for years I’ve existed in one of two states - 1) checked-out “f**k it I’m drinking” or 2) massive self-punishment “oh f*ck I did it AGAIN😩” . now I am sober neither of those two states applies anymore. So how do I exist? I have to relearn everything. The simplest things have astounded me. For example, I get a craving for booze, then I eat, or rest, or stop working and do something I enjoy - and hey presto no more craving - it wasn’t a booze craving, I only thought it was because it’s all I have known. Now I have to stop and ask myself honestly ‘what is it I really want right now? What’s the REAL issue here?’ It sounds simple but when you’ve been disconnected from your own mind and body for so long it needs to be learned, slowly. I’ve also learned that cravings hit like a wave, they build up , crash over me, then move on and disappear. It’s already getting easier to ride them out. All this nice learned through reading on here. I hope even a tiny part of this makes sense! You CAN do it - we all can! We just REEEEALLY need to want to!!! Cos taking the easy way out is always an option and it will land us right back at square one. Henry Ford (the car guy) said “if you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got.” I really like that.
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@Pleausy, how the hell are you? I know you were going through a lot. Hope you are still trucking.
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Yessssss ! I need to learn and listen what’s going on inside my heart and mind. I’m starting therapy next week and I just have to step away from that first drink. Thanks 
for your words
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I’m starting to really believe that alcohol is poison to me , like if I was really allergic or something. My dad was the typical alcoholic, or at least he portrait what I thought an alcoholic would look like. Drinking every day , he was very calm and quiet , he would come home after work and listen to music or watch a movie with a glass of whiskey in his hands , after a few years his finances and work and everything else crumble because of his drinking. Then the nightmare started I remember him drinking from 9 am to midnight … hen wasn’t able to work or do much , he gain a lot of weight and was very isolated at that time … he almost died until I manage to convince him to go to rehab and thanks God became sober. Why I’m telling you this ? Because this is not my story. I could say that I’m a very good mom , god friend I’m very very responsable and someone you can trust I can even drink a few times and Behave “normal” but then it happens : I binge , so hard and do things that I don’t remember or I would never do sober … I feel super ashamed and miserable and a few months ago I started asking my self why I was doing this ? A few years ago this events would happened maybe once a year o every 3 years , now it’s every week and when I drink I can’t think , I don’t have any will I just want to keep drinking and pass out. My oldest son ,14, tells me : mama please don’t drink , you hurt your self and this Brakes my heart. He even told me I don’t want you to be like grandpa , I don’t want you to become an alcoholic …
so it’s about time for me to get my self together an admit I can’t control it. I will keep trying and even if it’s very hard to come back and come clean and be honest, at least I know there’s is hope and people here are sober and happy.
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@anon2074485 I am just assuming you are on vacation
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