Hi everyone, I am now two weeks sober from alcohol. I somehow managed to stay sober during the holidays, which is a first for the past 5 years. The last two weeks has been intense. My abusive ex messaged me three days in on a new account that I didn’t know he had (I had him blocked everywhere else). But I kept going to meetings. One night on about day five, I went to a meeting and the man who assaulted me was there. I ran out of there and called someone who ended up being my sponsor. I didn’t drink then either even though I wanted to so bad. I didn’t know that quitting would mean I’d start dreaming about it either. BUT I’ve made it through the dreams, and the trauma, and I am still sober today.
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Hello everyone,
I’m Kevin. I’m 50 and I’ve been a member of TS since March 2017. My addiction is porn. My story is a long one.
I’ve been addicted all of my life. My dad divorced my mom when I was 1, and I used my addiction to cope. Although my exposure to porn was limited (first exposure was at age 6) during my childhood, I found enough PSUBs to get my fix. Porn, to me, is not just online XXX websites. It includes fantasy, masturbation with fantasy, visiting strip joints, using prostitutes, indecent liberties, and voyeurism.
In 1994, I started attending SAA, SA, and SLAA. I was 23. I worked the steps and had a sponsor. In fact, over the 12 years I attended, I had 5 sponsors, 3 therapists, and was going up to 5 meetings a week. I relapsed a lot. The relapsing led to the breakup of my first marriage. I fell away from the program for a bit until I got arrested for soliciting an undercover cop in 2004. I dropped back in and experienced 2 years of pseudo sobriety. I call it that because I was only able to stay away from mainstream porn. But I was still using PSUBs, masturbating, and obsessing about porn. I was in a better place, and I was grateful and happy, but I still was not free.
I married my second wife in 2006. I dropped out of the 12 step groups, and quickly began to act out with internet porn. I kept my using hidden from my wife for a couple years before she discovered it. I attended a religious program called Reformers Unanimous for about a year. But I kept acting out having only short periods of sobriety. Meanwhile, I deceived my wife into thinking that I wasn’t struggling anymore.
In January 2015, I became involved in an online forum for Christian porn addicts, Blazing Grace. I experienced over 10 months sobriety before I acted out and I kept it secret from the forum for years. I’m still a member there.
When I joined TS in 2017, I was recovering from yet another one of my relapsing episodes. Throughout this long road, God has made me aware of some very destructive roots.
- My emotional, social, and love anorexia.
- My toxic shame manifested via Nice Guy Syndrome and the drive to get validation from others.
TS has opened my mind to a lot of different methods and solutions that I was not aware of. As a result, my recovery has taken a much different path than it was when I first started. I’m celebrating 70 days porn free today. And today, I am free. Today, I have no desire to use. Today, I choose and appreciate sobriety. I am not missing out. I’m finally realizing that porn does nothing for me. It only takes away.
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Welcome Dave!
Hey all, I’m Richard, 39 from the beautiful county of Yorkshire in the North of England.
I’m an alcoholic, not the stereotypical, I must drink every day alcoholic but I did drink regularly and to very unhealthy levels and I would constantly think and plan my next drink (I say drink but it was never less than a litre of whatever spirit I could get my hands on). I never drank for enjoyment only ever to get drunk.
I have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol which would only ever end up with hurt or eventually me in an early grave. All of my bad moments were from alcohol intake, yet not all my drinking led to bad days.
However I’m 37 days without having touched a drop. I now use my thoughts about drinking as motivation in the gym, I have rediscovered my love for martial arts, got back training again and I am competing again this year, I want to regain the titles I relinquished years ago to start a family. I then lost my way through my alcoholism and now I WILL win them back, with focus of mind, clarity of thought, a healthy body and healthy habits.
I am becoming the best version of me again, not for anyone but me and the fact my family will benefit from my new chosen path is a bonus!
Welcome those starting their journeys, congratulations those still On theirs and my support will always be there for any of you who needs it. I am only ever a message away!
Love, prayers and hugs to all!
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Hi! I used to be a big binge drinker on weekends then started to drink midweek. I almost ruined my marriage due to stupidity while drinking. I lost the trust of my family and was in a horrible way. I first found this app over 3 years ago and relied on it heavily for at least the first year of being sober. I’ve been free from alcohol for 3 years and 10 days. What was at first a struggle has become second nature and I no longer crave or think about drinking. However, I don’t take my sobriety for granted! Being free from alcohol has truly enabled me to be the person I want to be not the self centered (drink centered!) person I was. I encourage all who are at the beginning of the journey to do anything it takes to fight for their sobriety! Don’t lose heart. You are worth it!
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My alcohol use really picked up during the pandemic as well.
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Hey, Community, I’m NeverJust1. I am 13 months sober. I haven’t been on here much in recent months, but, for some reason, the holidays and new year compelled me back. Maybe 'cuz I was here a lot at this time last year, idk. Somehow I am in my mid-40s, still wondering where all the years went. 
I am a mom of 2 girls and happily domestically-partnered. Anyhoo…my story is fairly typical, I think. I started drinking to fit in, to “loosen up”, then it evolved to self-medicating my way through a miserable marriage. Despite the marriage ending and several rock bottom moments, I couldn’t quit. I was in denial and just kept thinking I could get it under control if a,b,c happened or I’d quit as soon as I got through x,y,z. So…idk, a little over a year ago, enough was seemingly enough, and I finally accepted that I am an alcoholic and I have no control over it. And that was surprisingly empowering. BUT…while I am sober now, I do not consider myself recovered by any means. I have not worked a program or really dug deep into the roots of my addiction. At this point, I am OK with that. I’m happy to be rid of the substance, no longer poisoning myself, no hangovers, no shame, no dread. But I don’t know if that will be enough forever. I’ve heard the term “dry drunk”, I’m not sure if that’s what I am or not. Maybe I should post about this concern, idk. 
Anyway…that’s my saga in a nutshell.
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Hi everybody, my names Darren, I’m an alcoholic
I’m from England 🏴
I’ve been around here since 2017
I didn’t get it first time but been sober since June 2019
I’m athletic, handsome, funny and caring
I also consider myself very humble
Also deluded
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Just a grateful Canadian addict here!
I have been here for a couple of years now and am happy to see some new names popping up. Welcome to all the newcomers!!!
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Hello everyone my name is Krys. Today marked 34months clean & sober💪. Ive had this app on my phone for years just to read inspirational text when I wake up or check to see my goals along with how much $$ did I save? Lol.
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What an incredible testimony.
Thank YOU for sharing and giving hope to so many of us (myself included)
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I’ve been a long time lurker of different sobriety apps / Reddit forums, but have always been too shy to actually engage or reach out. But 2022 feels like as good a time as ever!
I’m 30F living in California Bay Area. My Dad was a severe alcoholic which would often result in physical abuse when he got drunk and angry, so I’ve seen firsthand how awful alcohol addiction can be.
I started drinking in college like a lot of folks, but only in the last few years did I realize it was becoming a problem. I’d drink every day, and drink more when I was around friends and family. I started looking forward to seeing loved ones not because I wanted to spend time with them, but because I would give myself “permission” to drink even more those days. I’m not a heavy drinker, which is why it’s been so easy to tell myself that I don’t have a problem. Usually I’ll have 2-3 glasses of wine a day, which is easy to write off as normal. But when I start craving alcohol at all hours, obsessing about when I’m “allowed” to start drinking, and get alcohol withdrawals when I don’t drink for 24 hours, it’s time to admit there’s an issue.
I’m currently 3 days sober, and it’s hard but feels amazing to be proud of myself rather than ashamed that I caved and drank too much again. I keep craving it, keep pining for it, but I’m just going to keep training my brain to see it as disgusting and foul tasting, instead of something to covet and obsess over.
Im worried that I can’t see myself committing to a lifetime of sobriety, but I keep telling myself to take it just one day at a time and to remember how good it feels, how much money im saving, and how im actually living my life rather than numbing myself with booze. It feels like change is in the air, and im hoping that this time im finally making a permanent lifestyle change!
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Welcome to this wonderful forum Brenda.
Congratulations on your 3 days!!
I’ve been here 2 years now. It’s a great place to get and give support. My strongest tool has been the gratitude thread. It’s the only way I’ll start my day.
In recovery, we either learn to be grateful, or we don’t last.
Come on over and check it out if your interested. Coffee is always on and we’re always open.
I hope to see you around.
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I couldn’t see that either in the beginning of my sobriaty so I took the advice to focus on today and this day only and I still do.
Babysteps so to speak 
And the longer my strech the bigger my thought I could live this way forever.
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Hello my name is Louise. I am on day two. I started This journey in 2011 and here we are 2022. I’m hoping that this format will help me I’m still having trouble trying to figure out the app.
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Good job Louise, don’t be too hard on yourself. I have been on this app.constantly since day 1 and l’m now Day 10 and still making major boo boos (still,better than relapsing).
Regular posters will be happy to guide you l have found 
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Wow Michele,we have so much in common with each other! All except the Antabuse.
I think you’re very brave to commit to that. It took me about 2 years of umming and ahhing before l would even surrender to trying Naltrexone! I was terrified that if l suddenly needed opioids for pain one day, it wouldn’t work,and l was also afraid of the stigma of being on it! So stupid!! As a Doctor in rehab said to me last year, “Why do you want to suffer?”
I imagine the Antabuse would be very helpful as long as you don’t drink on it. As you say,each to their own; you are proving to yourself and your family that you are willing to go to any lengths to remain sober!
You should be very proud for getting to Day 53!
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Hi I’m CheL 🙋🏻♀
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Hi Chel. Welcome to the forum.
Great place for support.
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𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖 𝙣𝙞𝙘𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙮 
♬ ♬ ♩ ♪ ♪ ♫ ♭ ♫
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