Am I an alcoholic? 20 years of drinking...is it time to admit?

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Thank you @TrustyBird and @james83 for your comments. Made me think ya i deserve not to be lied to!
I shared my dream with hubby and he was silent. Atleast he knows where im at

Day 600 free from weed and alcohol. Fuck yeah!
You know those moments when your whole body, mind, and spirit is consumed with gratitude? I hope so. Its an amazing and beautiful feeling which i got yesterday sitting in my ladies only AA meeting. Im so greatful for the support, guidance, love, strength, and hope ive experienced in the rooms of AA. I wouldnt be this far in my journey without TS and AA!

Yesterdays topic was gratitude. Right after i had that warm gratitude experience yay! I always seem to hear what i need to at a mtg. I realized i have so much to be greatful for and im kinda in too much of a routine with my gratitude practice…in the am with my coffee…I may switch it up to keep it fresh.

A few things im greatful for…

My sobriety! Without it i wouldnt be on the path to a better well rounded individual with hope, joy, and glimmers of peace

Im not homeless, At all, but especially in the winter. Sending out some positive juju to those who dont have a safe space

Women of AA. Their hugs, guidance, shares, and listening ears.

My health physical and mental…still working on the spiritual.

My lifestyle changes. Ive almost dedicated a whole year to my healthier lifestyle (12-30) im healthier! Im mobile! I can identify mood changes and working on patience with my mental health. I workout regularly. I eat healthier.

My job. I love the people i work with and my responsibility. I get paid while not working.

Winter solstice. Days are getting longer baby!!

A new year on the horizon. Gotta make new intentions. My 2023 intentions was maintain sobriety and lose weight. I feel like ive exceled at these and i feel great about that. I think my 2024 intentions will be continue to work on my health and committment to sobriety. Id like to lose another 10lbs after my weightloss bet but that wont be priority. Body composition will be.

This is getting to be a long post…just greatful. So greatful.

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Congratulations on your 600 days and all you have achieved with your new sober self!! That was an inspiring read!! I am glad life feels better for you. :people_hugging:

Sorry to about your husband using again or maybe using again. I hope he can be honest with you. :heart:

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I’m grateful for you CJ. I’m grateful for this place and all the lovely thoughts you put out into it. I would have relapsed by now for sure without the good people on this app, you (and my boy Boscoe) included. 🩷

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OH WOW – so lovely to read this and oh so grateful that you felt such gratitude throughout yourself. It is a wonderful feeling!
So grateful for you CJ - you are a positive light and i am honored to call you a friend.

You most definitely have crushed your 2023 intentions!
600 days is amazing friend - keep going strong. We got your back here. :people_hugging:

I am so sorry that your hubby is smoking weed again. I am grateful that you were able to share your dreams / thoughts with him. Hopefully he will be more honest moving forward.

Much love my dear friend - you are doing amazingly well! :heart: :hugs:

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This is a pretty strong statement. If it’s not too confrontational, or pick the right time, this could also be something to share with him if you didn’t already.

Your sobriety, I’m sooooo proud of you! You’re definitely a poster child for quitting addictions and working hard for the changes you can get paying attention to health, food, etcetera. And look at you? You are glowing! It’s a direct result of your hard work and nothing that can be bottled. You radiate good health. Congratulations on all of it!

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Wow i just built my first vision board ever at 36yo. It was awesome. I have such a sense of wellbeing after a guided meditation and class to envision what my 2024 will become. Woooyeee ill share details later. For now, i rest

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So…my 2024 vision quest…

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It was a lovely, guided experience. We were given craft supplies, directions, and a guided meditation for motivation.

We drew a large circle and identified the areas in life i would want to focus on in 2024. I chose health, relationships, sobriety, career, intuition, and savings. I will share one of my top affirmations for each category.

HEALTH: I will meet my weightloss goal by the deadline.
RELATIONSHIPS w/ Others: I communicate clearly and concisely with compassion
RELATIONSHIPS w/ Self: I am beautiful and accept myself for who I truly am.
SOBRIETY: I have strengthened my relationship with my higher power.
CAREER: I am confident in my abilities.
INTUITION: I trust my intuition.
SAVINGS: We will fully fund our emergency savings fund.

This was such a wonderful experience and I left with such a warm, positive sense of wellbeing. I feel a level of acceptance, humility, and hope.

I accept that I can not control people, places, or things.
I am open and humble so as not to be driven by ego.
I have hope of another year full of progress, not perfection, but progress.

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That’s pretty cool!!

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Amazing! Thanks for sharing this with us CJ. A wonderful note to start off the new year! Many great affirmations :heart:

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Thank you so much for sharing. I’m exactly where you are at, as well. This was my first sober NY eve in probably 30 years. I’ve done dry January for the last 3 years to prove to myself that I’m not an alcoholic. Then comes February and I jump back into my old pattern. This year, I’ve tie another goal to my focus - to get down to my ideal weight. This will take me past the 31 days in January.

Your not alone, stay strong!

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Congrats on getting thru your 1st new years sober in a long time! Those first are daunting but so rewarding when you’re on the other side. Good luck on your weightloss journey. Alot of us post to the below thread to hold ourselves accountable

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Good morning sober fam,

Im due to update my thread on my sobriety journey.

20.8 months sober from weed and alcohol
5 months and change sober from a very serious vaping addiction

Life is very hectic at the moment. Work stress. Relationship kinks. Personal expectations. The continous reminders that i can not control everything.

Ive officially won my weightloss bet! 50lbs in a little short of one year! Thats massive. Yet ive made it and im not satisfied. Im working thru this in therapy bc its an ongoing theme. I set a goal. I focus. I achieve the goal. I feel very little satisfaction from meeting my goal and set a new goal. Ive always been like this. Im not sure where that comes from but an idea ive come to is the thought of “im not good enough yet” i plan to explore this subconscious thought pattern this year.

Its just hard because goal making and progress and determination are great traits of successful people. Its just i think i take it to an unhealthy extreme. Thats what im learning, or trying to learn, in this second year of sobriety is balance.

Leaving on a once in a lifetime vacation in less than a week! This time next thursday i will be flying to coasta rica. Im soooo excited. I worked with a local travel agent so im hopeful things like lodging and transportation go smoothe. Its a small fortune for this 12 day adventure. Ill be sure to make the most of it. Good thing i wont be wasting time drinking or hungover.

Continuing my life towards surrender and acceptance and balance. One fricken day at a time.

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Oh i do hope you are able to unwrap this. So very proud of all that you have done my friend. You have done so much in 20.8 months! Hoping that you will find so sense of accomplishment. In the mean time i will be extra proud of you :hugs:

Super excited for your upcoming vacation! You deserve to have a fantastic time CJ!

ODAAT :hugs: :muscle:

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I love reading your journey and your honesty. You’re doing amazing :blush::heart:

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Awesome! My spouse and I are heading there in July for two weeks on a tour. It’s kind of a pre-retirement scouting trip for us. The blessings of sobriety shower all over us!

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I’m so proud of you Cjp for achieving all your goals.
I know that feeling of not being satisfied the way I wished and feeling not good enough.
But yeah working on a balance is a good work for me too.
I really love the vision quest you posted above.
The affirmations are very inspiring.
Thank you @Cjp for sharing and supporting me and everyone else :pray:
You’re a wonderful person!
Wishing you a wonderful vacation. Have a great time :sun_with_face:

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Awww thanks so much you guys for sharing today!

@JazzyS thanks for the praise, one day it will sink in! Until then we’ll just chat about our crazy intricacies

@adeygaga49 your comment touched my :heart: Yeah i started this thread to document my journey so i dont forget but also to share because reading others stories here has helped me too

@SinceIAwoke where ya scouting? Im heading to the touristy parts. Ohhh have you heard of blue zones. Its a designation for areas where people live a good quality, long life. Apparently on the west coast peninsula theres one blue zone. It Maybe magic water :slight_smile: or lifestyle or genetics who knows

@happyfeet thanks so much for sharing anne balance has always been a struggle for me and ever since acknowledging im an addict it made me realize how i do alot in extremes. I look forward to reading how you are finding balance in your journey

Love you guys

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You are inspiring to watch CJ. Enjoy your trip, you definitely earned this reward.

I am also a goal girl which makes staying present hard. I always tend to look forward. Maybe make your goal, no new goal until you get back from Costa Rica?

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Great advice @TrustyBird my goal is no new goal. Just enjoy the coasta rican adventure

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