Continuing the discussion from Binge eating recovery daily check in thread (Part 3) - #2524 by DanielaJ.
Previous discussions:
Let’s start a new thread together! I love that we keep each other posted!
@Misokatsu @Alisa @Aleyadaisey @Butterflymoonwoman @Jana1988 @acromouse @Faugxh @Sissychris39 @CATMANCAM
183 days smoke free
46 binge free
2 keto/ no eating in front of the TV
Didn’t sleep much last night, and my body is going slowly into ketosis again. Soooo…. After painting a wall in my study room, it’s all about resting and taking care of myself for the rest of the day.
Have a peaceful day, everyone 
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Hey. First time I see this thread. Maybe because I didn’t realise it could have something to do with me. Also my first post, but I am lurking here for quite some time.
A year ago I quit alcohol. I really thought that it would be the solution to my health and body. But it’s not a cure for chronic illness.
Yesterday I realised I’m eating too much sugars. It got slowly more and more. I can’t have 1 cookie, I can’t take a small piece of chocolate, my bread needs a thick layer of chocolatepaste and as a ‘not-tea-fan’ my tea goes with a big spoon of honey. I do like strawberries, yes, with sugar and cream.
I don’t have a plan yet. I’m writing this spontaneously (and that for an introvert), but there must be changing something. I’m thinking about a decrease of sugar to start with. No cookies and chocolate, and the sugarportions in half. I remember that at my former work someone called that the 50% rule.
If this post is not fitting this thread, please let me know, I will delete it.
Violet 
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Welcome Violet! Glad you posted!
It sounds that you experience a loss of control with your eating. I know that struggle.
Also the struggle with craving high sugar foods.
Sugar and ultra processed food are programming our body to want more and more and more. I think, on a biochemical level it‘s almost normal that you can’t stop and the amount increases over time.
Congratulations for your decision to cut down sugar. @Jana1988 is working on the same goal and with me, choosing keto eating, you have one more ally 
I am looking forward to read more from you! Welcome again
P.S.: Please just keep in mind that this thread is not about weightloss, because it might be triggering for people with eating disorders. So, if you‘d like to share weight/weightloss numbers, there‘s also the weightloss thread.
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Thank you. No, weightloss is not a goal. To eat healthier is. And to feel somewhat happier is. When I stopped with alcohol, everywhere I read was that people lost a lot of weight. Not me 
. Not even in the first months.
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Day 3
Last night I did so well with my eating until… I ate 2 gourmet cookies. I shouldve checked the calories online on those cookies PRIOR to eating them but I didnt. For 2 cookies they were 510 calories 
Anyway, i am choosing to focus on self love for this journey, and so I DID NOT beat myself up over it! I did however throw out the remaining cookies (they were my hubbys but he no longer wanted them) so that I am not tempted.
Today I am going to continue on with my health plan. I am able to access the OA website for meetings, so will attend one today. Will also hit the gym for a workout. I am focused on reminding myself of my powerlessness over food. The meetings talk about surrender. And for me, surrender doesnt mean giving up. It means letting go of control. I have been trying to control my ED for soooo many years now and Im realizing that my way isnt working. Therefore I need to surrender this addiction to my HP.
Have a great day friends!
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Hey everyone! 
And thank you to @DanielaJ for setting up a new thread! Keep on fighting the good fight everyone, we got this! 
And welcome, @hidden_little_violet! Congratulations on 1 year of sobriety! That’s awesome! 
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That could have been happened to me, too.
I’m glad you were kind to yourself. You deserve it And I think getting rid of the rest is just the right Move. I am so excited with you how your meetings go. Fingers are crossed that it’s helpful for you, friend!
Since the 12 steps did push you out of addiction earlier, I share your hope 
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Thank you
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Day 3
2nd check in…
I decided to make some changes to my health plan. I think whats part of my issue is my perfectionism. Trying to do everything all at once in a perfect manner. I decided to quit 2 things:
- Intermittent fasting
- Creatine supplement
I will be starting something else:
- Omega 3,6,9
I am quitting the creatine just for the health of my kidneys and starting the Omega supplement to reduce cholesterol and help with heart health. Im quitting IF bcuz its a trigger for me. Trying to aim for 12-16 hours every day is unrealistic. And when i fail, i beat myself up, which in turn increases the chance of my ED. I may not quit it forever, but for now I need to learn to listen to my body and give it what it needs. Not push myself to extremes.
I also realized that protein granola is a trigger food. So i am no longer buying it.
Im also working on my Traffic Light list (green light foods, yellow light foods, and red light foods). I also decided to do a monthly review of how my overall progress is going as well as writing goals for the following month. And I will weigh myself every Wed and not every day. Self love is the goal 
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Day 1974 : No binge today.
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Some big changes, @Butterflymoonwoman in there!!
Wow, admirable!
I think you went really deep down there with your reflection and you were very honest with yourself. You managed to push the voice of your eating disorder back and distinguish it from the reality and your own thoughts and beliefs. I can imagine that especially the decision about intermittent fasting didn’t come up easily. I know how strong and persuasive can eating disorder be. So very well done!
I appreciate that actioning these things might be challenging because surely you’ve got strong habit at a place connected to the intermittent fasting. I went through it myself and I was noticing my thoughts going back to it for quite a while before they stopped appearing. What I used to do was that I laughed about them. My strongest habit was probably not to eat breakfast earlier than until after 8am. That’s when my window opened. I had 8am-8pm (12/12). But I also decided quit it for some time. Whenever I was then hungry before 8am but was kinda looking at the clock, waiting to hit the 8am mark, I had to laugh about it. I was such an extremist that I wouldn’t even lick a spoon of yoghurt at 7.59am. I would literally stand with it in my hand until it was exactly 8am. And that is ridiculous! Come one 
So when I realised it, I had to laugh. I intentionally ate before 8am since to prove myself that nothing bad will happen.
When I started my therapy I was also adviced to weight myself (I didn’t weight myself at all to avoid being triggered) but she said only once a week. It was to prove me that I am not going to flactuate with my weight if I eat regularly through the day (which was something I wasn’t doing). It worked though. My weight remains stable. I gained a little bit lately but I also started bodybuilding exercises so I believe it might be muscle 
gain. I also drink much more water now because it helps me with my digestion, so that also can be influence. I am blessed that I don’t have to worry about my weight. My BMI is healthy. What I am trying to say is that once a week sounds good and it will give you more insight than every day (unless you’re before a body-builder competition haha).
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Hello guys.
Yes, I am unsuccessfully working on my sugar addiction. So far I didn’t manage to kick this one’s butt and I keep eating sugars in higher amounts than I like. But I don’t binge on it anymore and I even learnt to share my treats which is something I didn’t use to do, I always wanted everything for myself (yep, that greedy!).
I know that I will get there. I just need the right mindset to appear 
Or something to strongly motivate me I guess … 
Or the sweets to be prohibited and stopped appearing on the shelves in shops
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I recognise the greed I can share a lot, but not my chocolate 
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Day 4
This morning I woke up sooo hungry. My mind was trying to convince me to tough it out until after the gym to eat (basically following my old habit of IF). At that point, by the time I wouldve eaten, it wouldve been about 1130/12.
Instead, I CHOSE to listen to my body and eat a little something. I ate 1/2 cup of greek yogurt. That was enough to calm my stomach 
I dont like to exercise on too full of a stomach, so this was the right amount i think. If my body is genuinely hungry, I think its important to give it something. To me this is self love 
Today I will exercise in the morning and then attend an OA meeting at 12.
The only thing I am concerned about is later this afternoon. I will be having a very late supper (about 9pm). My son has Volt Hockey practice and so we leave practically when he gets home from school. I can feed him supper on the go as he is formula fed thru his gtube, but we get home at about 810pm. Then I put him to bed and make supper for me n hubby. So thats a loooong time without eating. Im worried about being tooo hungry and then that creating a binge. I might bring a ziploc bag of food to snack on while at practice. Any other suggestions would be helpful!
Have a great day everyone!
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I love that you gave your body a healthy little breakfast! Greek yoghurt is a great pre workout choice!
Late suppers are difficult for me, too. I need to make sure that I am not too hungry before, because it might lead directly to a binge for me, too.
I think it’s a great idea to bring some satisfying healthy snacks with you, so you know later, a normal sized meal is enough. For me, it’s helpful to plan exactly what and how much I‘ll have. And my secret weapon is a decaf coffee or a chai tea with a little milk afterwards. It’s warm and it smells amazing. When I drink it slowly and mindful, it’s a nice way to end my eating for the day.
Have fun with your son and I wish you a pleasant and binge free night
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Very well done, it’s very good that you ate breakfast. Hunger is nothing more and nothing else than just a signal to be fed. The body communicates with us this way.
Not eating for a long time and having a meal starving is a trigger probably for anybody. Apparently the body is worried that you will starve it again and so when you’re finally feeding yourself it will make you eat more than it needs so it saves calories for the next time when you don’t feed it for a long time. That’s what I’ve learnt and given how smart my body is, I believe it. That’s also why my therapist told me that I shouldn’t go longer than 4 hours without food.
I think that taking something to eat with you is a great plan. You can take something healthy, like an apple, or other fruit you like. Or some nutty protein bar There are many options of healthy snacks which can give you nutritions and help you to get over the time till you have your supper. I am wishing you all the best with it 
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No snacking yesterday and today. Replaced the chocolatespread with jam.
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Day 1975 : No binge today.
I made homemade Mac and cheese with butternut squash and peas, and shared some with my mom.
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