I do! Everyday… a member at the gym gave it to me last year, so it’s already got lots of miles on it!
I know this place so well. After each relapse I’ve had it’s a supreme feeling of shame and guilt. Some days, even acceptance that I am a sex addict is enough to pull me into those feelings. Like I am a horrible monster who is devoid of real empathy or the ability to form real connections with others, much less God. Often I drift into suicidal ideation just to escape those feelings that seem incessant. Since I can’t annihilate the feelings, I fantasize about a permanent solution to the temporary problem. If I don’t work my program I’m legitimately crawling toward my grave. Even in that despair, it’s difficult to surrender my illusion that I’m in control.
My ego is so big I get on this trip that I’m so smart that I can do the program that relies on fellowship and helping others, without really participating in the fellowship and helping others. I’m still selfish and self-centered just without my drug. By focusing on myself I am not able to be in the moment. I can’t be helpful to others. Conversely, when I’m honestly being of service all of those thoughts fall away.
You are loved, Mel. It is OK to feel like this. None of us are perfect and just sharing those feelings sends out a lifeline that might just save someone.
If you need to talk, I’m here.
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So sorry to hear you have some extra burdens today; I know you’re a giving good, sweet man and you care deeply. Try to rise above and see it from a higher perspective!
I don’t know how to respond to that post, because you don’t need advice, you are doing all the right things - pouring out drinks, sharing your feelings, etc, but I just wanted to let you know that I read it and hear you. Many people value and look up to you too.
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I’m confused @zzz. You didn’t drink the beer in the car but you’re on day 1?
What happened? My apologies for not understanding.
Day 1 or day 10 doesn’t really matter as long as you’re sober today.
This made me chuckle. My sober hero is @aircircle. For the same exact reasons you mentioned. When I started reading Ariel’s posts, I was like, I want what she has and I’m going to work just as hard. 
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Thank you for clarifying!! I got worried there for a second. Yay for double digits!! Stay strong and give that beer away so we can all rest a little easier.
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sober so far my friend, that’s all that matters.
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Well done @NewMel!! AMAZING feat on your first 7 days. Congrats. Keep coming here and sharing your journey with us, it helps : ) wishing you all the best in your new, wonderful sober life 
Sober life = our best life 
Promise?? 
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Day 2 check in . Last nights sleep was eventful to say the least but atleast woke up sober, still feeling like got hit by a bus though but atleast in my bed . So far ive loved this app and wish i had of found it a before … well a week ago to be exact would of been nice 
. Well i hope everyone else on here has the strenght to beat there disease today .
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If you remember, I took a photo of a bird family.
Well, they now have baby birds.
Who does not love baby birds?
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When? It snowed last night and it’s only 32 today. I want spring NOW!! Please send it this way @GVLNative.
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10.81 days… Got a lot done yesterday. I should be finished with everything today so I can sit on my ass tomorrow and enjoy my last day in this apartment.
Sending a shoutout and love to @Dolse71 
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Thanks so much for sharing this. It gave me my own epiphany. I get very defensive with my husband. He, very lovingly, points out the things I hate most about myself but refuse to face. It used to turn into a huge fight and drive a wedge between us. Reading this makes me realize I need to face, and fix, those things. Keep up the good fight my friend. Checking in Day 5.6 and working my recovery plan extra hard after relapsing day 227. Looking forward to reaching forever this time. 
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I do have a a small anchor necklace! Don’t tend to wear much jewelry as it tends to get tangled in my mane but might have to put it back on. Here’s some of my anchor paraphernalia
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