I know! 
It’s been SOOO hot 
ahhh I don’t want rolling blackouts or fires 
Happy to see you check in on day 8 or day 1 of week 2 lol
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Thank you!
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Checking in day 31 !
God bless ! 
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- Coffee. Had a great long ride yesterday, lucky not to have caught a big downpour early on. Today it’s back to work on my apartment. See if I can get my stove cleaned up. Will be some job. Followed by mopping the floors. I’m happy I have the energy, both physical and mental. Being sober and clean has a lot to do with that. Have a good day all. Love from Holland.
@Lisa07 11 months is big lady! Congrats! And yes, sobriety in itself does not make our life magical wondrously fantastic. It gives us the possibility to make it so much better though. Through hard waork yes. One day at a time.
@Chiron Congrats on a full month! Excellent work.
@Dragonflygirl82 Beautifully written Courtney. Love how you learned to look at your life and live accordingly.
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Thank you! Also love that picture. It looks so peaceful even with the darker clouds. Nature is just amazing.
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I’m here, I’m alive and I’m sober
Day 87
Kids in school and I’m about to take a walk.
I’m supposed to clean out my closet today, so I can clean out the other half if the big linnen locker I started on yesterday. But I really don’t want to.
I have a ton of stuff I don’t use, but a lot of it comes from my grandmother who passed away last year. I got all her clothes she had about 10 closets, and was truly the family fashionista. And as you now, the Puridai, the head of the family.
I’ve been stuffing clothes away because they where her favorites, or she bought them for special occasions or just because they’ve got her smell.
But we’re stilk renovating, the kitchen and dining room are supposed to be done before Thanksgiving. So I have to.
And I got the boys after school club papers ready yesterday finally. After I turned the universe upside-down I finally got the email address needed. And while having his Pa in the phone I made him sign the papers. He should be really lucky he didn’t had to meet me face to face. Apparently the 3rd child he has who’s like 3 years old is showing signs of autism. And he dared to ask about the 10 y/o and if I had papers on his special needs. Because If so he
(my ex, and the 10 y/o Pa) might have the option to apply for extra Gouvernment money, because he have two special need kids. This is also the same man who abandoned his son (now 10) when he was about 6 months. Never had the energy to even call or meet him, or send a freaking birthday card. And the same guy who currently isn’t even allowed to see his 10 y/o because he is a sex offender.
He never paid a dime for that kid, and never cared at all. I told him that if he tries for that I’m going to raise hell for sure. But luckily I told him that after he signed the papers. He makes me furious.
The teen also told me yesterday that she’s coming home Friday, over the weekend. With her boyfriend, I haven’t seen any of them until summer started so it’s going to be nice.
Wishing y’all a happy week 
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Good morning everyone
Game-free for 266 days
TV show-free for 2 days
Today will be a clean day, because I want it to be a good day. I’m in control of myself, I’m the only one that can make me relapse. Ain’t no f’ing way that’s gone happen tho.
I’m on my way to school now. When I get home I’m gonna make homework to start proving myself that I can have discipline
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Congratulations lil Sis. Toot Toot 
I feel the same re: nothing has changed. But, your post is encouraging me to put down on paper what changes I had hoped to see… and I will try to create an environment, mindset and a plan to get there.
While ‘progress, not perfection’ comes to mind, I’m thinking ’fake it till you make it! 
Remember, so much has been thrown at you in the eleven months. Staying sober is a huge friggin achievement 
You are due super happiness. It will come x 
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Did I say no family drama to report, well stay tuned. Pa called me an hour ago saying that he was on his way, together with my sister in law and nephew.
And suggested that I should bake some Fika, it’s like djungel heat outside, cloudy but sticky. So I did a quick Cherry pie. Probably not what they expected but they have to settle with that.
Besides that he wanted to discuss if it’s really necessary that we’re going away for Christmas. And the renovation plans for the house.
Basically that means he’s going to tell me his opinion about colors, renovation ideas and so on until this afternoon. And bw upset when I don’t follow through the 10 year old project he planned in a few weeks.
And that he’ll use my nephew who’s turning one on October as a reason for us to spend the Christmas in their house. It’s not going to happened I already discussed and decided that with Ma earlier this summer.
Besides that he wants to talk about my sister who had a heart to heart conversation with her husband yesterday about his drinking.
I’ll keep you guys updated.
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@Jennajen Hugs, sweetheart. I know that feeling. The only person you need to be enough for is yourself. Everyone is worthy of the pursuit of happiness. Don’t beat yourself up about how much you do for your sobriety, we all can only do what we can. And there being no fear of relapsing shows great strength! Be proud of that!
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Day 8
Fewer intrusive thoughts of drinking today! Thank God. Hopefully as the days clock up they will continue to get fewer. Did cleaning and helped the kids make posters for school. They are supposed to be about family life, and my son just drew dinosaurs (?)! My daughter did a nice drawing of a trip we took to a mountain.
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- Killer back and shoulder workout this a.m. blessed and grateful have a awesome day everyone
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Day 224. As we make the arrangements for my father in law’s funeral this friday, drinking stays on my mind.
Didn’t drink yesterday like my mind was asking for. Did not wake up with a horrible wine hangover.
Thank god for that.
My father in law was a pretty big drinker in his day too. We did drink together a few times.
Part of my wonders when this sobriety thing is gonna end and I can go out to get that box of wine or bottle of whiskey.
The other part of me tries really hard to stay sober because it would fuck up EVERYTHING.
I would hate myself afterwards.
Thank you for reading.
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Virtual hugs coming your way.
And even if it might not help much today, I want you to know that you are awesome.
Somedays are up, Somedays are down. But no matter what your worth is never based on a special size or look or the amount of things you have to say.
You’ve helped me through so much here already so I’m sure your answers would have been awesome.
I struggle with body image from time to time to, but I’ve found some wonderful support in other ladies in recovery struggling with the same thing.
One thing I do that really does sound like nothing but it has a bigger impact than I ever thought,is looking at myself in the mirror everyday and telling myself that I am beautiful, I am worthy of a good life no matter what.
Society and especially companies that sells products are making a lot of money on making us believe anything else. We’re always supposed to have different things to look or best and be happy. And non of it is true. We’re all going to be different people with different bodies, skin color, eyes and different souls. And we’re all able to find what makes us beautiful without all these products and without reaching a certain weight or adapt to a certain body image (that actually varies through the years, just look from the 50’s and until today)
Focus on things that makes you happy, write those answers because I’m sure they are good, apply for that job or whatever it is. Don’t let things and thoughts like this get in your way. You are an amazing person and I’m glad that I’m getting the chance to talk to you.
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I do this really long posts too. But if I can’t get it out and “talk” here I have nowhere to do it. So either people read, gets amused, or mad or whatever and put up with it, or they can just scroll away. As long as you are polite and kind and it’s helpful I personally see no problems with it.
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I am sure after that much time it is hard for them to see the daily effort. 700 days is an amazing accomplishment though! Great job!
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Checking in, Day 225 AF. Hope everyone is having a happy, healthy, sober week!
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I know how you feel. I’ve been through these periods a few times myself and the last one was about a week ago.
Some things that have worked for me
- If you feel like you’re disappointing people on the forum(which you’re not), you could take a break from the forum to take a break from the anxiety of disappointing people on here.
- If you dislike the way you look, you could stand in front of a mirror each day and give yourself sincere compliments to accept the way you look.
- If you dislike your actions, you could take a few minutes each day to reflect and write down all things you are happy with that day.
I hope these suggestions help you pull through this harsh period. Know that I have faith in you and that to me, you’re an inspiration
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