@apes2020 I didn’t know you had zoom meetings here. I am fairly new here. Probably the second or third time I have used this app. Thanks for the tip. How do I join these online meetings? When are they held?
@Lisa07 actually the problem is that I live in a very beautiful and peaceful part of the world. But it’s also quite remote. I have a superb connection. I am a freelance software dev. But the problem is that AA meetings or any other meetings are rare. The only one around has some religious fanatics I don’t want to meet. I would prefer virtual meetings anytime. Life is too short to spend with religious nutcases.
@CapriciousCapricorn ego isn’t the problem. The problem is after a few weeks of abstaining I become confident that I can have that one drink. It starts with one and you know the rest of the story. Same story with minor plot variations. But the end is always the same. I rinse repeat and get back to day 1.
@anon60334405 I liked AA. I liked the philosophy. But the nutcases in my AA meetings were a big put off. They would get into prayer huddles every few minutes. No sir. No way. Not for me. I would love to attend sensible meetings with normal people but I dont have any near where I live.
AA meetings with normal people? You are in recovery for your self. Saying that you want meetings with normal people is asking for something that will just not happen. Nothing in this world is normal and you need to go within to start your healing and not focus on things like not wanting nut cases or non normal people around in meetings. Judgement gets you no where.
Coffee. I got an extra hour of sleep which helped in feeling rested. But where’s the daylight? Hm. Well OK. At work I get to test my colleagues and myself today as we have one resident and one colleague positive. Going to be fun. Since I’m sober and clean at least I have a steady hand now. Have a good Sunday all. Love from Amsterdam.
@M-be-free49 It took me 7 years to recently unpack the stuff I took from my mum’s place after she passed. Unpacking was a nice experience actually. Hugs.
@Lisa07 virtual meetings it is then. Did you have any that you can suggest. I know a few too. I will attend one. Fingers crossed.
@apes2020 I don’t mean to sound judgemental. I get it. Everyone has problems. AA meetings are for people with problems. I have my own set. Money, family, kids, my book, anxiety about the future. To top it all I also have BPD and PTSD and I am supposed to be on medication. But seriously, I have just one meeting nearby and those dudes are scary. There was this one guy who kept sending me Bible quotes several times a day, every day for a week. Before I blocked him. I mean seriously. I need to attend meetings but no stalkers pls.
954 I’m doing pretty good lately. I’m still and up and down more than I would like to be. But I’m still here and trying. I am trying every day. To either be more accepting of myself or more accepting of others. Trying to be happy with now while still working towards goals. I’ve wanted to give up on work, and this life so many times lately but only because its been hard and I was frustrated that things weren’t different. But THIS IS how things are. And when my mindset shifts in the right direction, so does my passion for life. Keeping it in a good place is hard. But it’s worth it.
Day 93 booze, day 6 pills
I took a unisom last night so I didn’t have to do another sleepless night. I don’t know how I feel about that. I guess a non addictive anti histamine is better than benzos but I really want to get my sleep pattern to work naturally. I guess I will accept an imperfect path of progress rather than derailing the whole thing by aiming for some form of ideal sobriety
@Lisa07 ok thanks for the support. And the guidance. I have been through this a million times. Dont want to keep doing this. I will attand at least one meeting today. I will try to participate. Baby steps.
Actually, I was thinking during my morning yoga, why I should quit caffeine. I get headaches. Withdrawal. Why should I suffer from this when I start drinking again? Just thinking. But I will do this.
Day 7 from Meth, attended a meeting yesterday and spoke for the first time. Felt good actually, not sure people understood me as I was babbling quite a bit but it doesn’t matter, I still got things off my chest.
I’m doing pretty good lately. I’m still and up and down more than I would like to be. But I’m still here and trying. I am trying every day. To either be more accepting of myself or more accepting of others. Trying to be happy with now while still working towards goals. I’ve wanted to give up on work, and this life so many times lately but only because its been hard and I was frustrated that things weren’t different. But THIS IS how things are. And when my mindset shifts in the right direction, so does my passion for life. Keeping it in a good place is hard. But it’s worth it.
