idk. nothing wrong really, there is nothing going through my head at the moment except I want to be dead. sometimes I just get these moments where it takes everything in me to not self harm or off myself. i have to physically sit on my hands because I feel so out of control that I don’t know what I’ll do in the next minute. I’m so tired of fighting this.
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i don’t belong here. I’ve never used substances, I self harm. I’ve never felt unwelcome but I’m not in the same boat as everyone else here.
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Oh beautiful girl -
I’m so sorry that you feel this way – and please note that self harm is an addiction and you are here to try and better yourself. Refraining from self harm is just as exhausting and takes the same will power as trying not to score or take the next drink.
You are so young and have so much to LIVE for. I am so sad to hear your words and want to give you a huge hug.
Are you recovered from the operation? Maybe spending so much time alone recovering has gotten these voices a chance to get louder. Are you able to call on your friend that helped you that night you were having trouble sleeping? Get into socializing - be it over phone / here on the threads / in real life … can you open up the windows and let in the fresh air? Go for a walk - stimulate your senses?
Everyone has a different way of getting out of self harm. It takes time and a reset of your mind. Finding love in yourself and your surroundings. Are you able to talk with someone (a therapist - can’t remember if you already are)?
I am sending you so much love my friend - hoping that you do find the strength to fight this!
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Congratulations on making it to the 30 day milestone.
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Checking in. Day 233
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WOWZERS - 30 days of sobriety! way to go.
Isn’t it funny that we “mourn” putting poison in our bodies? How we still crave this addiction and romanticize it when it did nothing but FUCK us up in every way possible. You are kicking ass and I hope that you continue to do so. Hey - we can still go out dancing and to the pub - just enjoy a different beverage and come out with our wits intact 
Wishing you luck with having the talk and finding a sponsor that fits your needs.
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You do belong here. Speaking for myself and probably everyone else…we are all fighting an ugly part of our lives we wish we could eliminate. Sometimes all I can do is know I am so much better not continuing down the same road I have been on.
I care you are here. Howdy and take it 1 moment at a time:bouquet:
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I’m still pretty much stuck on the couch from surgery, I can’t do anything then the bare minimum like getting up to get food or a drink. I’m currently talking with a few people online trying to connect and hopefully make friend
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Yeah - I had a hunch that the recovery from the surgery would have you more isolated than usual.
I am here - you can PM if you’d like to chat. You can scroll the threads and get some laughs on the Make Me Laugh. Tell me a joke or the Meme Wars 73 No Politics Please thread. I’m sure many more fun threads here.
Can a friend come over and hang with you while you stay on the couch? Make sure you are getting some fresh air into your room. I know when I’m down and stay in bed and don’t open window or curtain that my mind can spiral very quickly - - small changes make a huge difference.
Much love my friend - you will recover and we are here for you!
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Congrats @Catmama23
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Day 2. I couldn’t resist. Then I have to learn the lesson the hard way
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Hey, we understand. I know for myself personally my self harm turned into self harm in the form of substance abuse.
We are here for you, and you are not alone
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Hey Megan
This post I just read by @Butterflymoonwoman is also great for you to understand that self harm is not so different from dealing with other addictions and you need to work on and respect your body…
Also - in keeping with the above message - check out Cravings & how to beat them, Isolation vs. Connection, H.A.L.T
EDIT - found another link here that would be very helpful - thank you @Starlight14 comfort box
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425 days.
I’m taking a sick day from work today, I’ve had a few days on Prozac, and it’s making me feel super wonky tbh. I’m pretty sensitive to medication, I’m hoping I adjust soon enough. Can anyone else offer any advice on how long it takes to adjust initially?
Not complaining though, if it can drag me out of how shitty intense depressive episodes feel, I’ll deal with the side effects for a while.
Have a great day guys 
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Im quite sensitive to medications also and can usually feel its effects right away. I find that it takes about 10 days (at least for me) to not feel “wonky” and to have any unwanted side effects disappear. By about day 10 i feel alot better. My dr told me that if i still felt unwell by the 2 week period, to contact her and then we can make adjustments. But she did encourage me to try and stick out the initial discomfort as the benefits outweigh the inital cons of starting up or increasing a med.
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@XXIX The site is about sharing our feelings and experiences. Not putting on a front. Always be real.
@JessicaAnn93 You can’t ‘lose’ progress. Everyone’s journey is what it is. You go left or right, twist and turn, but keep putting one foot in front of the other.
@KarenKW The point is you deserve better. You deserve to not give yourself another stick to beat yourself with. If you want to escape, take a bus a park and wander around; if you want a physical release, go swimming or get a massage; if you want to shut your brain off, start a TV series, do some colouring. Start a thread detailing the stuff you are up to so you can have some feedback do you don’t feel alone.
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110 days sober today. Been down in the funk lately. 32 days until my employment closes the doors.
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I have self harmed since i was a child… about 20 years. It was my first addiction. And I still struggle with it! To me it’s more about the addiction itself than what the addiction is.
I hope you feel better soon hun
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Evening of day 17 sober
Today was a very non active day
It was good to rest though
I woke up full of energy and in a good mood. There just wasn’t much to get into. The wife isn’t religious but she’s spiritual. She believes in the universe and so do I, I just call the universe god. I might hit up a church session eventually just to keep busy and maybe learn about something new.
I need more AA in my life. I’m going to go to online meetings more often.
I guess today was just very uneventful
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I’ve got a headache and 12 hours of work tomorrow, so I’m heading to bed relatively early…
Checking in
231 days substance free
And
148 self harm free
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