Recovery, discovery… it’s a life long journey Paul. Glad to be on the road and share part of it with you. Be well friend.
7 Likes
Thanks, but its not the self esteem I’m looking for. It’s just the little things in life that I’m actually doing again and noticing they really provide little bits of happiness.
4 Likes
Day 6 AF! I’m feeling great. I’ve taken a mini vacation from work to focus on myself and indulge in some of the hobbies and interests that I have been ignoring in favor of the bars. I feel like a kid again in some respects.
Going to the theater tonight to see a musical based on Elvis. I’m going solo, but I’m good with that. It’s all about me right now.
16 Likes
Hey all, checking in on day 1208. I hope everybody has a good one!
19 Likes
Day 1020,
Went to a sports club for membership. Wanted to swim right away but unfortunately the pool was in use for some group excersises. Now it’s time to plan it in to go 2-3 times a week to heal physically. My tension went real high late in the afternoon yesterday. Called my parents, they came over. They left alive again 
. Had a quick phone call with my brother, he got nothing to say, he just asked if I had a drink. The stupid idiot, he thought it was a normal question. He’s also still alive. Did a sleep meditation for anger and resentment before going to bed. That helped somewhat. HR send me contact info for a re-integration bureau, need to contact them to make a appointment. So there is movement but damn it triggers me everywhere.
18 Likes
Checking in on day 85. Today is another day to build our strength. Whoever we are, wherever we are, may we all be free of suffering.
16 Likes
Day 2
Went to the gym at 5 am 
made a healthy breakfast and I’m making my work lunch now 
I’m more productive and a better mother when I don’t use. I used to use to be more “active” as I thought it made boring jobs fun. What a lie that was!
Hope everyone has a great day 
19 Likes
Checking in at day68
Glad you’re doing so well @Marlowe . Hope you enjoy the musical… Awww I love Elvis 
@Butterflymoonwoman hello my Conqueror sister.
I started my challenges with the Flower Route in Amsterdam so I was virtually walking with @Mno 
And I finished the Hadrian’s wall Walk too which I would love to do in real life too.
I’ll text you about my experiences later.
Have great sober Thursday everyone 
16 Likes
Good morning! Looking forward to another sober day and not being hung-over tomorrow.
11 Likes
Day 134. Made it to school, so I am happy with myself about that, you know I just realized I have not taken my medication in the last like 5 days. I just completely forgot to take them, it may be why I’m feeling off a little bit. I’m not sure but I hope to get it together, Im trying to stop making excuses and do what I say
19 Likes
Day 150, question for some old timers which really is anyone with more time than me or people who have done this before. Anyway last few days I have been having cravings almost to the obsessive point.
I take meds that help with my anxiety,depression and cravings but I’ve learned all that really helps with is 30% and the other 70% is mental… I’m scared this is beginning of a relapse and I want to catch and fix now not later…
Any suggestions I would really appreciate
Thanks in advance
15 Likes
Day 240 AF today.
Last day in Mexico. I fly home
Tomorrow.
Been here 6 out of the last 8 weeks and am looking forward to being home for a couple
Of weeks.
This site h los me
Stay grounded and connected while traveling. Thank you all!
13 Likes
Hi @NICKLE5CENTS, so very awesome you are adressing your concerns here at the checkin. I am currently at day 672 free from alcohol and I can relate very much to what you are describing. It happens to me every time I reach a real or imaginary milestone (i.e. 6 months, first party sober, first christmas, 12 months…). I get the unexplicable cravings and I think its because we are used to celebrate achievements in the one way we know best - having a dance with our DOC.
The other occasion I still get cravings is when I am hitting a road block or something is off and I didn’t listen to my inner self well enough what it was I really needed. I’ve become more sensitive to this and have learned to pause and reflect on this before I chose to act.
Either way, its a great thing you are noticing this is happening to you. It gives you the chance to make a conscious choice instead of instantly reacting. I often do the opposite of what my alcoholic brain is commanding me to do in the moment. I call a friend when I want to retreat, I go for a walk in nature when the bars are calling, I actively let the tears flow when I want to numb unpleasant situations. This way you broaden you tool box and learn, that there is a plentitude of other options to make yourself feel good. You got this, friend 
10 Likes
I’d like to second what @Pandita said, the kudos for coming here when you’re experiencing cravings (not to mention and also your 150 days!). I also second the very real “milestone malady,” where when approaching any kind of meaningful number (which is different for all of us) it can trigger some thoughts from our addictive brain to use to celebrate or to think we can have just one. We are all in the process at different stages of healing our brains/minds from old patterns and creating new neural pathways, literally, for healthier responses to stress especially. I reached my 2 year milestone last Friday and I recognized some signs in myself, some complicated emotions, some reminiscing about the past and “happy” times drinking to celebrate, not to mention it landed just a few days after my husband’s birthday and the day before a party to celebrate it. I will admit I had fleeting cravings, more like fear of missing out (FOMO). I have a list in my phone of all the reasons I quit and all the reasons my life is improving without alcohol in my body. It’s my go to at times like these. Like Pandita said, now is the time to build up tools you can reach for when the cravings hit. There are some great threads on here with ideas and I’ll link a couple. I’m sure you will find more posts by using the search function.
Hang in there! Glad you are here. Protect your sobriety with all your might!
https://talkingsober.com/t/leighs-guide-to-crush-cravings-part-1/3946
https://talkingsober.com/t/advice-for-the-newcomer-and-constant-relapser/11064
10 Likes
I suppose it’s as good a time as any to share this…
I hit 2 years free from binging on alcohol last Friday and I mentioned in my previous post some of the feelings I was having leading up to that milestone. I know I deal with some seasonal depression and things have been stressful at times in my life, but I definitely resonate with what some others have said about milestones getting things mixed up in your head! But the life I am able to build without alcohol is remarkable in comparison to where I was before, binging more and more, lying and hiding from my husband and family, feeling worse and worse physically and emotionally, deepest dives into depression I’d ever experienced, you get the point. I have healthier relationships, especially with my husband, he’s my best friend and never left my side. My finances are better, we bought our first new car and our first home, no doubt due to my not literally pissing money away. I’ve made strides in getting to know myself better and be kinder to myself and even to others. The list could go on and on. It has been one of the hardest things I’ve done but one of the most fulfilling, too. It takes work and it continues to take work. That work changes over time and some things get easier and then life happens and shit’s hard again. That’s why the work of recovery is fundamental.
Mostly I am grateful. Lots of gratitude for finally making that decision and sticking with it, for my support system and for this community. You all are the bedrock of my sobriety - thank you for being here. 
35 Likes
Checking in on day 102, in a really good mood today and staying productive. Feels great to be able to manage life in recovery
Have a great day everyone 
18 Likes
Congratulations on 2 years!
4 Likes
Day 55*
My last minute day off really helped me notice myself. I tended to some things I haven’t done in months. I am glad to be sober and slowly working on the wreckage that is my life. It is an overwhelming amount and there’s pressure (from myself?) To fix it all now. I can’t do that. Sometimes it feels like no progress is being made. Yesterday, where I had some time to myself, I saw how not ok I’ve been. I am sober, relatively healthy, moving forward… there’s some good stuff there. But I feel like living in dark addiction/depression/crippling anxiety for so much of my life has allowed me to normalize living in I don’t know, moderate depression and anxiety? Sometimes when I am able to take a step back and care for myself and share with friends or supports I realize how unhealthy it is that I live with this much sadness and fear and sense of doom every single day. Sometimes I forget that’s not normal because I’ve lived with worse? I am still working on tending to myself at the early warning signs instead of waiting until I am in full blown crisis to make changes. Just some rantings today.
22 Likes
Yay!!!
6 Likes