WOW – what imagery! This is a wonderful analogy – thanks for sharing Des. I read it last night and have been mulling it over – really helps put all of the first stages of recovery in perspective. 
@butterflymoonwoman and @sabrina80 I have recently restarted magnesium and melatonin at night along with a hot foot soak where I add a few drops of lavender. Then I massage my feet with a lotion or essential oil (depending on the day). Also listen to a soothing meditation – all or a combination of these may be useful for you too? I hope you both get a good nights rest soon.
@icebear sending you great vibes – hope your appointment went well today and the meds start helping you very soon.
@jasty2 Aah – yes, we are customers. I am starting to really understand the system 
Jokes on them – I didn’t go back (well Covid happened and then just life and I honestly forgot about the lesion). Only went today as it was necessary to get updates for my neurology appointment.
@trustybird Sending you healing vibes – hope you start to feel better soon. “why not me” yes – keep reminding yourself that you deserve a sick day just as much as anyone else. You are no good to others if you are unwell yourself. It’s the parachute analogy I guess – put yours on first so you can be able to help others.
@catmancam Thanks friend – yes, I think you are right and I will make an attempt to reach out to my friends. Will be nice to connect via phone for now at least. Grateful that you are listening to your body. You did get a lot done with little sleep. Hope you are having a much better Tuesday 
@anon74766472 OH that is a brilliant idea. Yeah – I will keep that in mind for sure. Yeah – I had my sunglasses but next time will take them up on the ones they hand out as they are full coverage.
@selflove_42 sorry that your kids are sick on top of everything else going on. Keep working on your recovery and gaining strength to be present for yourself and for your family. We are here for you so please unleash here – it is unhealthy to try and keep your frustrations / struggles in when you are trying to be around for your loved ones – something will give. Sending you strength.
@KellyKelly WOW - 599 is impressive — you are crushing it – looking forward to celebrating 600 with you tomorrow
Good idea to start again with magnesium and melatonin 
I’ll try that. I did listen to a sleeping meditation yesterday, didn’t help much 
@jennyh Thanks friend (reading your words did make me cry a bit today – in a good way – I needed that release)– it was a little unsettling but I feel like i’m better today. Just grateful it wasn’t anything to add to my list LOL. I am so proud of how you are navigating your sober journey and I am sorry for the past week but seems that it has given you more tools and you have gained strength from the experience. Keep going strong – we got your back!
@dmcg1987 Way to go – double digits! 
@2travnz Grateful that you had the opportunity to patch things up with your dad and are able to build on your relationship now. We can not change the past but we can make a better future for ourselves – seems like you two are both appreciating the re-connection
@juli1 you are kicking ass Juiles – fuck that thinking – you know how to show it to the curb. We got you – talk it out - rely on your recovery group or go for a swim / walk. Much love to you my friend 
@ceeds happy belated birthday and congrats on your triple digits – I am so sorry for the sadness and grief. Grateful you could be around for your friend. Sending you hugs and love. Hope you have a fabulous week ahead
@deelzebub grateful that your gut is feeling better. I am sorry you are dealing with sebaceous cysts… I have found that a warm cloth dipped in a baking soda paste helps. I also have used a mud mask made with natural ingredients to help soothe them. They don’t go away but do become less prominent. I do hope you are not in pain from them. Sending you love in solidarity.
@Sabrina80 Ah - i do hope you are able to find the right combination of things that work for you soon.
Checking in on Tuesday morning…
Just got a call from my mom to come by for brunch – late coffee date as she had a dental appointment this morning. I am nervous about my appointment with a new OB this afternoon. The last few doctors have tried to tell me to just live with the ovarian cyst but it just keeps getting bigger and is very uncomfortable and recently painful. Funny that I switched to a different OB to get another opinion and now my old OB says I should get surgery asap after my last MRI results.
Oh well - i am determined to have a good day - hope everyone has a wonderful addiction free day! Sending you all so much love
Just checking in,
Youngest seems to be doing better, requested popsycles first thing this morning. I’m dad so the answer is yes. He’s back to singing and being his old self. Oldest is goin to school this morning. I gotta work, go check on my wife recovering in the hospital, and somewhere between all of that, i need a 10 minute swim. Just 10 minutes, that’s all i need #selfcare.
Have a great day everyone #staysober
I agree with you. I have surrendered now. I can’t do this again.
Day 156 without alcohol
Checking in from Venice Beach where it is 66 degrees. It’s absolutely gorgeous this morning. I’m still been awhile since I’ve checked in. I’ve been without my meds and I’ve been a bit scattered. Have the RX straightened out and will pick it up later today. I’m thankful for that, I could feel myself starting to spiral. Thankful that m staying in a sober home me where I’m safe from alcohol.
Work has been chaotic though it could be I’ve been without meds since being in CA so everything seems bigger than it is. No work until Monday so I’m very grateful for that.
Stay safe everyone. The holidays can be triggering for me so stay safe.
Day 16. I was struggling to be productive today, I was distracted and feeling irritable. Got home, took a couple of pain killers for a dull ache between my temples and I’m having some quiet time. I can feel the constant threat of depression, it is enroaching. It surrounds me as if besieging a city. I can hear it, the stream of negativity, you’re not good enough, you’re stupid, you’re ugly, you’re selfish and mean. I don’t give in, i look at myself in the mirror and i see myself. For the first time in a long time i think i might be learning to like what I see.
I see someone who deserves better than how he has been treating himself and how others have treated him for the past 20 years. You don’t deserve this pain, you’re good, you’re kind, you’re gentle, you’re loving, you’re caring.
You’re learning to live with the pain, with the fear and you’re learning to thank the universe for the life that you have.
Alcohol is not the answer, it keeps you in a cyclical depressed prison of self hatred and misery. I am finding my way out of the mire, slowly.
Wishing you all a sober and pleasant evening/morning/afternoon/night.
Day number I don’t remember of the last time I had a full night’s rest.
The thought of seeking meds to help with this is getting stronger the more exhausted I feel.
The fear of getting that phone call or a text message to let me know my brother has passed is tearing me up inside. I keep startling myself awake in the middle of the night between 3 and 5 am for I don’t know how long.
I can’t shake this queasy feeling I have in my stomach either. My doc told me yesterday that it is most likely from the sense of anxiousness, worry, stress. She’s a good doc and didn’t push any prescriptions and instead referred me to some sites that help with mental health to create better routines to try and alleviate these feelings.
Today is going to be mostly a day of rest for me thank goodness.
Day 311.
I’m feeling seriously overwhelmed by everything right now. Tomorrow it’s flight day. I hate flying.
Anyways, I’ve cleaned my whole flat top to bottom so it’s nice and pristine when we get back. We also took my pup to the kennels and now I’m absolutely heartbroken. He loves the kennels because he can play with all the other doggies there. So it’s kinda like a pup holiday. But I do miss the little munchkin.
Checking in, working hard to be healthier /feel better and am making small improvements
Have hit a milestone with my writing
Love you all a lot.
Day 70.
Checking in. Spending the day with a friend helping her with some organizing. Going to a meeting later. Enjoying the little things and moments. Strong and Serene 24 all.
@shybert Hey Joseph – great work on 16 days of sobriety. I am grateful that you are able to look yourself in the mirror and SEE YOURSELF. Know that you deserve better and silence those negative thoughts. I do find posting positive affirmations and reading them throughout the day helps in reinforcing your positive attitude towards yourself. Sending you positive vibes
@anon68572606 Deep breathes my friend – I know you have been through a lot and what you are facing right now is overwhelming. I am grateful for your doctor and I do hope that the sites do help you find peace and some relief from these feelings. It is ok to feel all that you are feeling. Always around if you need to talk or cry it out. 
Hell yeah – you are killing it with self improvement. Always awesome to see your avatar pop up – much love Mulan
I did it. I called in for the day. I am sick. Could I work, probably but I won’t. In 3 years at my job I have never called in.
Goals today: take. a. shower. Oof, I am a fan of the habit of putting on layers of clothes to sweat out the sickness while chugging fluids. Trust me, a shower is in order. I am wearing two pairs of pants.
Second goal, walk to the grocery store to eat and cook delicious food. It’s less than a block away and I’m feeling many pieces of toast throughout the day.
Third goal, don’t watch 8 hours of mindless TV. We’ll see how that one goes. I park myself in front of the TV more often than not after work and last night started googling TV addiction. Dear Moderation, if you could ever make an appearance in my life that would be great but I doubt it, so I’ll work through it. For the fans keeping count at home that is alcohol, cigarettes, shopping, THC, shopping again and now TV that I have examined my addictive relationship with.
Day 643 no alcohol and a true day of rest. Maybe a quick nap first even though I just woke up.
Keep fighting the fights all! 
🩷
Thank you Jazzy 
Day 7. Relaxing with my girls. Autumn came home faking sick today lol. I still feel like crap kinda but I’m getting through. I am grateful to be sober, I feel good and look forward to some lifting sessions when I get back to Plattsburgh
That’s something i’ve been doing too. I did a magnesium supplement called “Calm” and i mix it with Taurine and drink it at night. I also do a Magnesium foot soak. I’ve been magnesium deficient for many years and it does help!
About an hour and a half away from hitting day 10 and I feel like a million bucks!!! Why would I ever go back? Right?
I’m doing great today, cravings are there but minimal. Let my oldest stay home. It was the last day before Thanksgiving break and her sister had a follow up appointment for Botox injections she had a month ago. My little one just loves when her big sissy goes with her any and everywhere. I can not believe how far I’ve come but I am not getting too relaxed because as I know from past attempts, this amount of days are only enough to make you think you can go back to using in moderation. DUH…NO NO NO … I CAN’T DO THAT !!! If I could I would not have found myself here, not just HERE in this forum, but just in general where I am in life. I’m not getting complacent this time. This time I am going to figure out the core reasons why I use and understand my disease better. With all knowledge and tools I can at least heal from and treat it properly. I am also grasping the concept that there is no cure for addiction and staying vigilant and putting in the work will be life long in order to have a stable, happy, addiction free future. Good vibes to anyone struggling. Thank you all for you stories and motivation. Have a terrific Tuesday everyone!!!
Day
195 no alcohol (never made itvto day 200 before)
13 no weed (lucky number 13)
125 no vapes or ciggs
Work is going so much better then yesterday
I did a terrible job working which made my day terrible
Today i worked my ass off and am proud of my day
I have 4hours left , then im home for 2 days after this 6day work streak
Im earning it today
Take care everyone
Checking in
Day 646
Today has been a day 
Slept alright for a change. I guess the increase in my meds helped abit last night with my anxiety and over thinking. And the morning was okay I guess. Did a workout. Ate well. Just feeling irritated with people in general. Just would rather not be out in public yet I have 1 errand to do, which im doing now. Then will walk home to wait for my son. Hoping my mood improves And hope everyone has a great day 
Evening Everyone! Day 2 almost complete! Sitting with a cuppa waiting on Food being delivered then itll be tv & bed. Noticed this morning i was awake at 5am … not sure why.