Just checking in,
Youngest seems to be doing better, requested popsycles first thing this morning. I’m dad so the answer is yes. He’s back to singing and being his old self. Oldest is goin to school this morning. I gotta work, go check on my wife recovering in the hospital, and somewhere between all of that, i need a 10 minute swim. Just 10 minutes, that’s all i need #selfcare.
Have a great day everyone #staysober
I agree with you. I have surrendered now. I can’t do this again.
Work has been chaotic though it could be I’ve been without meds since being in CA so everything seems bigger than it is. No work until Monday so I’m very grateful for that.
Stay safe everyone. The holidays can be triggering for me so stay safe.
Day 16. I was struggling to be productive today, I was distracted and feeling irritable. Got home, took a couple of pain killers for a dull ache between my temples and I’m having some quiet time. I can feel the constant threat of depression, it is enroaching. It surrounds me as if besieging a city. I can hear it, the stream of negativity, you’re not good enough, you’re stupid, you’re ugly, you’re selfish and mean. I don’t give in, i look at myself in the mirror and i see myself. For the first time in a long time i think i might be learning to like what I see.
I see someone who deserves better than how he has been treating himself and how others have treated him for the past 20 years. You don’t deserve this pain, you’re good, you’re kind, you’re gentle, you’re loving, you’re caring.
You’re learning to live with the pain, with the fear and you’re learning to thank the universe for the life that you have.
Alcohol is not the answer, it keeps you in a cyclical depressed prison of self hatred and misery. I am finding my way out of the mire, slowly.
Wishing you all a sober and pleasant evening/morning/afternoon/night.
Day number I don’t remember of the last time I had a full night’s rest.
The thought of seeking meds to help with this is getting stronger the more exhausted I feel.
The fear of getting that phone call or a text message to let me know my brother has passed is tearing me up inside. I keep startling myself awake in the middle of the night between 3 and 5 am for I don’t know how long.
I can’t shake this queasy feeling I have in my stomach either. My doc told me yesterday that it is most likely from the sense of anxiousness, worry, stress. She’s a good doc and didn’t push any prescriptions and instead referred me to some sites that help with mental health to create better routines to try and alleviate these feelings.
Today is going to be mostly a day of rest for me thank goodness.
Day 311.
I’m feeling seriously overwhelmed by everything right now. Tomorrow it’s flight day. I hate flying.
Anyways, I’ve cleaned my whole flat top to bottom so it’s nice and pristine when we get back. We also took my pup to the kennels and now I’m absolutely heartbroken. He loves the kennels because he can play with all the other doggies there. So it’s kinda like a pup holiday. But I do miss the little munchkin.
Checking in, working hard to be healthier /feel better and am making small improvements
Have hit a milestone with my writing
Love you all a lot.
Day 70.
Checking in. Spending the day with a friend helping her with some organizing. Going to a meeting later. Enjoying the little things and moments. Strong and Serene 24 all.
@shybert Hey Joseph – great work on 16 days of sobriety. I am grateful that you are able to look yourself in the mirror and SEE YOURSELF. Know that you deserve better and silence those negative thoughts. I do find posting positive affirmations and reading them throughout the day helps in reinforcing your positive attitude towards yourself. Sending you positive vibes 
@anon68572606 Deep breathes my friend – I know you have been through a lot and what you are facing right now is overwhelming. I am grateful for your doctor and I do hope that the sites do help you find peace and some relief from these feelings. It is ok to feel all that you are feeling. Always around if you need to talk or cry it out. 
Hell yeah – you are killing it with self improvement. Always awesome to see your avatar pop up – much love Mulan 
I did it. I called in for the day. I am sick. Could I work, probably but I won’t. In 3 years at my job I have never called in.
Goals today: take. a. shower. Oof, I am a fan of the habit of putting on layers of clothes to sweat out the sickness while chugging fluids. Trust me, a shower is in order. I am wearing two pairs of pants.
Second goal, walk to the grocery store to eat and cook delicious food. It’s less than a block away and I’m feeling many pieces of toast throughout the day.
Third goal, don’t watch 8 hours of mindless TV. We’ll see how that one goes. I park myself in front of the TV more often than not after work and last night started googling TV addiction. Dear Moderation, if you could ever make an appearance in my life that would be great but I doubt it, so I’ll work through it. For the fans keeping count at home that is alcohol, cigarettes, shopping, THC, shopping again and now TV that I have examined my addictive relationship with.
Day 643 no alcohol and a true day of rest. Maybe a quick nap first even though I just woke up.
Keep fighting the fights all! 
🩷
Thank you Jazzy 
Day 7. Relaxing with my girls. Autumn came home faking sick today lol. I still feel like crap kinda but I’m getting through. I am grateful to be sober, I feel good and look forward to some lifting sessions when I get back to Plattsburgh
That’s something i’ve been doing too. I did a magnesium supplement called “Calm” and i mix it with Taurine and drink it at night. I also do a Magnesium foot soak. I’ve been magnesium deficient for many years and it does help!
About an hour and a half away from hitting day 10 and I feel like a million bucks!!! Why would I ever go back? Right?
I’m doing great today, cravings are there but minimal. Let my oldest stay home. It was the last day before Thanksgiving break and her sister had a follow up appointment for Botox injections she had a month ago. My little one just loves when her big sissy goes with her any and everywhere. I can not believe how far I’ve come but I am not getting too relaxed because as I know from past attempts, this amount of days are only enough to make you think you can go back to using in moderation. DUH…NO NO NO … I CAN’T DO THAT !!! If I could I would not have found myself here, not just HERE in this forum, but just in general where I am in life. I’m not getting complacent this time. This time I am going to figure out the core reasons why I use and understand my disease better. With all knowledge and tools I can at least heal from and treat it properly. I am also grasping the concept that there is no cure for addiction and staying vigilant and putting in the work will be life long in order to have a stable, happy, addiction free future. Good vibes to anyone struggling. Thank you all for you stories and motivation. Have a terrific Tuesday everyone!!!
Day
195 no alcohol (never made itvto day 200 before)
13 no weed (lucky number 13)
125 no vapes or ciggs
Work is going so much better then yesterday
I did a terrible job working which made my day terrible
Today i worked my ass off and am proud of my day
I have 4hours left , then im home for 2 days after this 6day work streak
Im earning it today
Take care everyone
Checking in
Day 646
Today has been a day 
Slept alright for a change. I guess the increase in my meds helped abit last night with my anxiety and over thinking. And the morning was okay I guess. Did a workout. Ate well. Just feeling irritated with people in general. Just would rather not be out in public yet I have 1 errand to do, which im doing now. Then will walk home to wait for my son. Hoping my mood improves And hope everyone has a great day 
Evening Everyone! Day 2 almost complete! Sitting with a cuppa waiting on Food being delivered then itll be tv & bed. Noticed this morning i was awake at 5am … not sure why.
I had this feeling last friday nigth, and it was, suprise suprise, Covid 
Hope you feel better 
Nearly into day 2.
Resting and forgiving myself. Feeling really unwell, actually think I may be unwell, my head is killing for three days now. Just realised today I haven’t had caffeine in two days. Maybe that also, but I don’t feel good at all.
I tested yesterday and no Covid but it is something. Rest up my friend, sickness stinks.
