Derailment void / Off topic 2021 to present

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Apologies- I just wish these keyboard warriors were as brave face to face :v:

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I love your sponsor!

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He has 54 years sober, and completely hates the dogmatic approach to AA.

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Now THAT is fascinating.

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I agree, thatā€™s wild!

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It is, but I would say 70% of the AA groups here (roughly 700 a week pre covid) has had his influence over the years. A very unique AA experience from what I have seen.

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There was one way back when I first started

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Yup itā€™s been done a couple times. Donā€™t forget that when you are curious about something you can always search for the keywords!

Hereā€™s a link to one we did last year.

https://talkingsober.com/t/sober-book-club-on-zoom/111607

We did it via zoom. I didnā€™t end up participating as much as Iā€™d like but Iā€™d say itā€™s worth trying again!

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I loved that book club! I admit I only came to a few sessions but they were fantastic. Would happily join another one @BroccoliHighKicks

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Actually @BroccoliHighKicks - funny enough - I am currently doing a (virtual) book club with a friend of mine. She and I are reading his first major book, Maps of Meaning, which dates back to before he was (ahem) a cause cĆ©lĆØbre.

The executive summary is itā€™s interesting as a cultural study. It is quite long winded and franklyā€¦ thereā€™s a lot of superfluous verbiage. But it is interesting how he ties things together in his argument about possible origins of evil / deviant behaviour.

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I am just beginning this audio course and I would looooooove to study it with some friends. It isnā€™t technically a ā€œbookā€ but itā€™s organized into sections and the lecturer is phenomenal. Itā€™s all about how stress is part of life, and what helps us isnā€™t so much the reduction of stress, but instead the conscious ā€œtuningā€ of our attitude & our responses to it.

https://www.thegreatcourses.com/courses/how-to-make-stress-work-for-you

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That is my exact situation as well :laughing:

Ok sounds good. Letā€™s keep in touch - if we remember to. :grin:

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Good thanks! About to step into a meeting so will give a short reply & check back later.

Highlights:

  • marriage counselling saved me from divorce in the fall
  • looking at buying a business; itā€™s intimidating but also exciting
  • plugging away on day to day life here in wintery Canada - the snow is perfect outside right now - hereā€™s a recent night view:

How about you?

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Thatā€™s good stuff. Itā€™s nice to know what we can control, and what is less controllable (even when it still matters to us). Sobriety is something we can do for ourselves out of love and care - and that gives us strength to ā€œroll with the punchesā€ on everything else. :innocent:

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I think that you could still have a sponsor even though you are away. You would just need to find one that was willing to work long distance with you. There are people in Canada that have sponsors in the States because thatā€™s who they clicked with and whose recovery they really respected.

The only limitations in life are the ones you put on yourself. Being open to new ways and ideas has been amazing. And for the record I am not a die hard NAā€™erā€¦ its not NA or you will fail. I go to SMART meetings, I checkout Recovery Dharma meetings, I respect people who find recovery in anyways that works from them and I have never voice differently. All that I can share though is what has worked for me and what has not. What didnā€™t work for me was trying to do this without a program, with only family and dr support. What has worked for me thus far is working a very solid program of recovery everyday, having a sponsor, working the steps, having alot of physical and mental health support and support from my friends and family.

I have to admit it gets a bit frustrating when people continue to be wilful and overly opinionated about 12 step programs as people are fucking dying from addiction everywhere. Honesty who gives a fuck about dogma when someoneā€™s life might be saved? It is what you make it.

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You know I love the steps and work them myselves as well, so I donā€™t consider myself overly opinionated about them.
However, to quote you :

You and I both do apparently, else we wouldnā€™t be having this conversation.
In my opinion, those who tell me I canā€™t work the steps without a sponsor, are telling me I canā€™t eat macaroni without cheese. Itā€™s just another custom habit that has grown into a dogma.

Exactly - yet the dogmatic approach of our traditions sometimes keeps people away from the roomsā€¦ if peopleā€™s life might be saved by macaroni without cheese, then why not let them eat it ?

In this perticular case, I see a girl on here asking whether she can do a step 4 without a sponsor. Of course you can, start with it ! Work it, and along the road it will reveal itself whether you want a sponsor or therapist or whatever to help you move forward.
But donā€™t wait for a sponsor or whatever to start !

That is exactly what I reject. See, in my opinion a sponsor will never really know me. All they can work with, is thƩir interpretation of my stepwork (which in itself is solely an interpretation of my own mind).
How could someone, not being able to meet me several times in person, to understand my body language (or lack of itā€¦), my surroundings, my life, ā€œreadā€ me ?
If that would really work, then why are autists even trying to compensate their lack of understanding of those important factors ?
All a sponsor long distance can and would do, is tell me hĆ­s interpretation of my addictionā€¦ which basically reminds me of a certain psycholgist telling me I should just accept things I denied, simply because the DSM opposed my own experiences regarding my own life.

Exactly. For example, believing you canā€™t do the steps without a sponsorā€¦

I agree you canā€™t do them all alone though - I needed a psychologist in the proces. I need my NA group. I need other autists. For every single aspect of my life I struggle with, even the slightest bit, I need input from others. But that doesnā€™t necessarily mean it has to be a sponsor.
I prefer input from many different people.

One final remark on the ā€œsponsor traditionā€ - itā€™s 2022, yet still the traditions state I canā€™t get a female sponsorā€¦ :thinking:
In some aspects, our traditions are just outdated.

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Thanks for your response.
:blush:

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We still like discussions :stuck_out_tongue:

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Consider GOD the abbreviation of Group Of Drunks. Weā€™ll happily be your higher power :slight_smile:

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