Stick around buddy 
Listen to us instead of that voice in your head, it’s lying. It’s your addiction talking.
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True Rock bottom is death. Many alcoholics and addicts dig until they get there, hell most of them do. It’s graduation weekend where i live, plenty of parties, lots of people getting fucked up. Id be lying if i said that i didn’t partially wanna be one of them. I know where that’ll lead me though, the true rock bottom… i choose life today.
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My ex husband drank himself to death… it was an awful way to go. He was 56.
Alcohol is so prevalent and accepted in our society that it’s easy to get swept up in that world for sure; being older now and going through all the years off and on of drinking; it’s such a waste of what a life is supposed to be.
My two cents, 
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For sure 
. I don’t miss feeling like shit
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Hey Mike. It really is incredible the amount of love we all have for you. It’s so sad addiction doesn’t give a fuck about that. There isn’t anything I can add to all the love we got here for you but prayers.
I’m praying for ya Mike. Every day. Only God is bigger and stronger than addiction.
Any chance you could go to rehab?
That’s where the miracles happen.
You’re worth it.
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Listen here, all this rock bottom stuff is bullshit. The only real rock bottom is death, and we are always just one drink or drug away from it. How many people say “this is it, this was “rock bottom” only to find there was another worse “rock bottom” out there for them.
Honestly, you just have to be ready for it, want it, and be willing to do something different for it. Here’s a link to a snippet of what I did and changed. So if you have 5 hours to read a babbling post, here you go:
You’ve had some great changes in your life during your sobriety. But you seemed really sad the whole time. There’s something inside you that needs healing. Just being sober alone isn’t going to bring happiness. However, it might give you the desire to find a way to help yourself feel better though.
If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. No one can make you ready. But we are still your friends. We don’t want you to not come here just because you’re not ready. Of course no one wants to see you hurting and struggling, but it’s better than not seeing you at all.
I didn’t even want to get sober this last time. When I woke up at the hospital, the first thing I wanted was a drink. I did and said everything they wanted me to so that I could just go back home and drink.
They put me on meds and sobered me up. I decided to stay with the meds and go to therapy. That worked for me. I think you do AA? Did/do you have a sponsor? I think therapy in addition to whatever program you’re working would be a really great addition.
I’m just babbling now. But just stay around, we care about you
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That’s all I want to say really. We love you. You’re honest and you’re real. You fight and you struggle. You win and you lose and you share it all. Don’t give up Mike.
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I feel what you feel and say. Its hard and wondering why this and why that, why is it this way. Why. Im struggeling my self. And in all of this, i want be sober so bad for me, for my Kids. It should be easy yes, we do anything for our Kids, but still this, this Is so hard. Just want you to know, I feel you and want the best for you. Lots of love. We need love, for us, for eachother for everyone. Love 
Thanks guys I’m seriously so grateful for all the support. And donut, that’s exactly what I’m doing. Crying over the days I had and not wanting to work for them again. Thats so silly to even say of me, but it’s literally a huge reason I’m digging more and more
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Hey again Mike.
How about a med check? You still taking meds? I remember you were awhile back. It’s go to be really tough wanting to be clean and sober if you’re all depressed. Maybe it’s something as simple as a med check with your doc to get you back on track.
Still praying for ya.
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Brother, one fucking day at a time. It’s so simple and effective. Just for today we don’t pick up the drink or snort the line or pop the pill. Don’t worry about a year, worry about the next 24 hours. Can’t get anywhere without that.
I love you, you know that. But I also want to kick your ass right now. Quit making this bigger than it is. You had a handful of bad 24 hours. Make the next 24 hours different.
You know where I’m at.
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It sounds like you might be doing what I used to do. I would loose good time and then say “well, if I blew all this time, better make it worth it” 
That never worked out well for me at all. 
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Your addict wants to get you alone so if there is any part of you that wants to fight, stay with us.
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Keep coming back my friend. And don’t ever lose the desire. I believe in you and know you can do this. I (we) will always support you. Just keep posting. Make a plan. Set some goals. Keep your mind distracted. Keep busy. 
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Hey Mike, how are you doing today? Just here to tell ya, I love ya!
Gah, the addict mind is a BITCH!! It took me YEARS to see past the lies. It’s all lies!! You do not need the drugs or alcohol to be a better version of you. You are perfect just the way you are. The drugs will insidiously destroy you from the inside out. Toss them! Dust off your knees. Keep going. I can tell you’re a smart man because you already know all of this deep down. Seeing past all the lies of our addict mind is half the battle. Believe me. By the end up my addiction I felt like Gollum from Lord of the Rings “Myy preciouuuus”… (I looked like him too.) And I still couldn’t stop. That’s how powerful it is. It takes a special kind of strength to pull yourself out of addiction and I know for a fact that you have it in you because you have done it before. My advice for today is just: Become aware of the LIES… because they are all lies our addictions tell us. You do not need the drugs, you are amazing the way you are. & Keep coming back. Seriously, we care about you so much. You can do this.
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Hi Mike, I am happy to see you and I’m glad you’re safe, and reaching out.
I hope you don’t mind if I make an observation; here goes: control is really important to you and to your sense of self-worth. The days were a number, yes; but honestly, I don’t think it’s really about the days.
I think it’s about control and its counterpart, helplessness (and the overall question, self-worth). There is a part of you, a voice in you, that speaks to you and says, “You are impotent, stuck, helpless.”
And one sure way to maintain control, is to shoot yourself in the foot. “I don’t think I’m done relapsing” is code for “I can choose to relapse and that’s my choice, my control, and at least it belongs to me and not you”.
Feeling unable to measure up to someone’s expectations - whatever those are - can lead us to say, “Screw it, I’m gonna just do this, because it’s my choice.” Control.
Measuring yourself (related to control) is a big part of your thinking as well:
Where did you learn this pattern of thinking about measuring your value?
If I’m right in my observation here, there may be some value in unpacking this and seeing what you can discover. Does your employer have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) that you can use for some counselling sessions? Often they’re simple to set up, you can just do it over the phone or by video chat.
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I could find 100’s of reasons to get loaded everyday. I walk around in fucking pain…
You are getting loaded over missed days Mike… listen to yourself. Look at what you are saying. That is not clean Mike talking that is addict Mike talking. The further you dig the harder it’s going to be to get out. Stop picking up the dope and get to a meeting. Like Meg said just today… just give it a day.
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OOF…they were interesting observations…
. 
. Id feel a bit uncovered by those observations…oops I’ve been ‘seen’ ,can’t lie to myself or anybody now.
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I’m gonna be completely honest, I’m terrible at comprehending what I read. If I think it’s what it means, I’m sure alot of it has to do with having control as that’s what runs deep in all addicts is always needing to have control. I worked on letting go of control with my counselor that I had for my year of sobriety, letting go of what wasn’t in my control. But with having the attention deficit disorder I really struggled with it. I got cocky in my sobriety and complacent I stopped working my recovery, when I say I don’t know if im done with my relapse, it probably does sound about control maybe it is, it’s funny how sometimes we don’t even really no what’s really going on or bothering us inside. But I meant it like I am trying to stop, and for some reason I keep going and picking back up. Idk if this is even what you were getting at
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I will use your words…
“Hate to say it…”
That isn’t trying.
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