Hi, I’m after some advice! I’m new to the group and am now on day 25 of not drinking and feeling happier and healthier.
I had drunk regularly and in increasing amounts since my mid teens, now in my early 30s. I am trying to think how best to describe my drinking as I write this and not sure i can call myself a binge drinker as although I definitely binged, I probably did so much too regularly and would be letting myself off lightly with this description. I have never needed to drink on waking and can hold down my responsibilities however drinking is definitely an issue with me as I certainly can’t control frequency or amount!
My husband agreed that I have a problem with alcohol when I opened up to him at the start of my journey and suggested he would stop drinking at home to support me. I think he possibly regrets this now and secretly wishes he could relax with a drink after work or on a weekend. I’m wondering what other people’s experiences are of having a partner who still drinks at home. Does it make things much harder? I feel like I should make it ok for him to drink (as he can safely do so) but am worried it would set me back…
My husband still drinks but I notice it is a lot less.
Some days I’m more tempted but overall it isn’t too bad. I just need to keep telling myself why I’m doing this and find other things to drink or keep myself busy.
My husband and I are currently sober together (56 days) but I know he will eventually like to return to a drink here and there to chill (he has never in his life had any addiction problems…I envy how easily he can give anything up haha). I also know if I had any issue with it he would not do it. I am not sure when he will start drinking again but I am wondering how it will be! I’m not worried though. I don’t want to control his life and again I know he would respect me if I were having a difficult time with it. He is also supportive of whatever I wanna do (regarding sobriety). The other side of the coin is if I really really wanted a drink he would never say no. Maybe talk to me about it but never tell me I couldn’t do something. So in my opinion I will just have to be an adult and worry about my own self. I can communicate my feelings if need be but I think everything will be fine. It’s not like everybody in the world is going to stop drinking because I did. It will always be around me and I will have to learn to keep saying no and reminding myself why that is.
My husband and I are in sobriety together. But we do have a rule in our house, even for guests. No alcohol to be brought to or drank in our house because it’s our sober environment. Our friends know how we live and respect that.
Hi and congrats on 25 days! My wife is a casual wine drinker, and keeps bottles in the house. Usually one open. It hasn’t been an issue for my sobriety. Party because I’m not a fan of wine, vodka was my first choice, then beer. I even open bottles and pour for her. One odd side effect - when my wife drinks out like at a dinner, it really bothers me if she leaves a glass unfinished. Almost as if part of me is thinking, you can drink, don’t waste it! It’s stupid.
In short yes. It’s harder. Your husband sounds great btw and I’m sure you appreciate the sacrifice. Take him up on his offer until you feel like your in a safe and comfortable spot with your sobriety.
It may be a bit of a bummer now, but it’s in the best integer of your health and relationship really.
Don’t get me wrong it’s not impossible. But it IS harder and you should be realistic about the added risk of relaps. I think it all comes down to your priorities as a couple and where on the list your sobriety falls.
@Ruthy the way i see it i quit drinking. My wife still drinks at home. Why would i add any stress for her because i decided to quit? Also, i believe you need to keep a vise close when you are quitting it, it might be harder for me, but once i beat it, it is a complete victory. Right now there are cigarettes and vodka in my house and i am not going to have either. Long term these things are readily vailable and i want to be the strongest me and never have a fear of a situation getting the best of me “causing” me to drink.
You kind of explained my home situation except my husband never stopped. We have all kinds of whiskey and beer around the house. He’s a collector of both and has multiple bottles aging. For me it’s not tempting because he knows I’m an alchy (now, well let’s be real, probably before too).
Since I’ve admitted it, he’s supported me by getting n/a options and I know how disappointed he’d be if I drank again. It’s just no longer an option. I know if I didn’t tell him, and I tried doing it on my own, I’d fail miserably. He keeps me accountable along with several other things is what I’m getting at.
I can’t make that call for you though - will it be a trigger for you? Maybe, maybe you’d be totally fine with it.
This is what I planned to do @Oliverjava as I’m not sure how strong I would be if alcohol was reintroduced into the home. He has drunk if we’ve been out which doesn’t seem to be a problem for me. Thanks for the advice!
My partner drinks. My drink of choice was red wine. His is beer or bourbon. I dont drink either of those and am not interested in starting now! Ive been sober for 30 days and havent even felt like a drink. I tried 3 times in close succession then finally had enough. 4th try and here I am. I think my partner is slowly cutting down but he does drink every afternoon/early evening after work. I cant see myself having a drink anytime soon as i know i cannot have just 1 and i know how shit i will feel so im not going back to how i was.
Hi Sober, this is day 1 if my sober journey and I just wanted to thank you - my husband drinks (way too much) but you’ve helped me to see that it’s his choice. This is mine. He tries to get me to drink to make himself feel better about drinking but I think you’ve just made it easier for me to stay strong and say no - thank you!