New title: Checking in here when I need to vent or need advice

Right now it’s 12 noon. And I can’t take a walk cause I’m in school. And I was still sad all morning. I missed half of first block cause I was sobbing in the special Ed room. I did listen to some music though. GSA event was good. We had four people, including me, perform. And we had about 20 or so other people overall. And yeah. It was fun. Also there was food. So yeah.

I’m also realising just how few friends I have. there’s only one person I talk to day to day. And that’s it. And it’s hard and I feel lonely.

Well missing half of it is better than missing all of it :blush:

What did you perform at the GSA? Was it a group or solo thing? Good for you for getting involved! Maybe there will be opportunities to find more people to connect with through the GSA?

True. I’m going to be missing more though. In an attempt to avoid my loud outbursts of starting and threats, I’m going to be leaving my history class as soon as I start getting angry. So yeah.

I performed a poem by Sarah Kay, and it had a piece of a song at the beginning, so I sang some too. It was a solo performance and I shook like a leaf, but I think I did well and I’ve had like two teachers come up to me multiple days later to tell me they thought I sang beautifully, which is really nice to hear.

And I hope I can connect with more people that way. I think it just takes time to make close friends and I am not too patient lol.

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That’s so good mate, well done! Great to be able to share something you like doing with other people. And it’s so good to do things that put you outside of your comfort zone. If you can get involved in some group performance stuff that could be a cool way of building on that while building up connections.

Yea everything worthwhile takes time… Annoying but when it gets there, all the better for it!

Thank you! Yeah, it was awesome. Terrifying, but awesome lol. It would be cool, but idk how to even find groups like that, but I’ve been thinking about it.

Yeah, I think it’ll be worth it.

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Do they have a drama group or anything at school?

Yes, but I don’t know any of them. Plus, I’ll be a senior when I join and idk. In too scared to do it lol. I’ve been thinking of doing some club or something about music or whatever in college. Idk.

Or a choir maybe? You can just stand in the back then :joy:

Lol yeah. That would be fun. But not a churchy choir lol.

I haven’t exercised much this week, and it’s annoying. I’ve also been thinking a lot about how fat i am and it’s been tough. And I’m scared of falling into my old ways. So I’m going to try to talk about it here a bit extra and maybe check in if it’s bugging me.

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Yes always check in and talk about it here! How is it going in therapy atm? Is it something you could bring up there?

Also you’re welcome to join us on this thread:

I’ll try. Therapy’s going alright. I mean no one knows that I had eating issues in the past. It wasn’t that bad, but I don’t want it to happen again and I don’t want it to get any worse than that. And idk. I just don’t really want to tell them about it, cause I’m fat and I feel stupid being fat and saying I used to not eat. Idk.

I actually kind of like that group. I’m gonna check it out.

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I’ve been writing about my flashbacks and cutting and all that. I think I’m gonna post it here. I’ve been having a rough time recently both with cutting and self loathing and idk. We’ll see.

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Hey if you want to share that we will of course support you here :heart: I suggest you join the Seeking Help group for that kind of thing. It reduces the risk of triggering others as well as giving an extra layer of privacy. I can’t work out how to link directly to it, but you can find it here:

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I agree with @siand. Post in Seeking help. This process will not only help you, but also other people who are struggling as well.

I’m almost to one year! I’m a little over a month away from it! Whoo! That’s crazy!

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That’s amazing ! Keep going :kissing_closed_eyes:

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Wahoo amazing! :clap::woman_cartwheeling::tada::dancing_women:‍♀:raised_hands:

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