Sober attempt #100. What activities help you to not think about drinking?

1.Breathe · September 4, 2022, 4:20am

Hello from Berlin, Germany. I moved to this great new city and country a year and a half ago and the only friend, except my wife, has been drinking. I’ve been trying to control the amount I drink for the last 30 years, but I’m going into the wrong direction with that. Morning me and evening me aren’t great friends either. I managed, with my wife’s support, to stay sober for 3 months last winter. We did it together. I felt great at that point and believe I could have continued on, but we both relapsed to celebrate the milestone, somehow against my very stron desire to stay sober. Now it’s hard to even make it one week. The loneliness and boredom kick in hard. A few days after stopping I get depressed and think life isn’t worth living if it’s not fun. And this is a super trigerring city too. Everyone drinks everywhere. So I go back to the thing I know for sure will make an evening fun. Drinking. What fun activities or hobbies help you stay sober and not get so depressed? Any other advice? Thank you for sharing.

RosaCanDo · September 4, 2022, 4:31am

Welcome to the Talking Sober community! Sounds like a lot of life changes and stressors happening in your life, and what you’re describing is so very common in conversation here. We’ve all be there! I will share some existing threads with you, but you can also use the magnifying glass to search for topics, maybe hobbies you have already there is likely a thread about it.

First, an older thread that was revived recently:
Share your hobbies

Also, there are categories you can search, like Just for Fun or Living in Recovery and that will pull up a lot of threads! Here are some I really like but based of what my specific hobbies are:
Houseplants
Mental health memes
Foodies - cooking and food
Gardening

I know there are exercise threads and selfies threads too. Hope this helps get you started! Just being here and reading around can hopefully be a great support for you in your time of need also. I’m glad you came here and posted!

1.Breathe · September 4, 2022, 4:43am

Thank you for your reply and for sharing those links Feels good getting help and connecting with another human. <3

RosaCanDo · September 4, 2022, 4:47am

I know the feeling! The more time you have on here and get comfortable getting involved, commenting, etc., the more those connections will grow, too.

WCan · September 4, 2022, 6:35am

Good thing you’re looking for hobbies that early in recovery. I’ve been more in the control-freak side of the spectrum to keep myself dry for a long time, and now just starting to re-learn how to enjoy little things like hobby without them being related to some kind of performance or self-development.
Sometime to look out for fun things to do I just ask, while I’m doing basic mondaine stuff “hey where’s the fun?” and most of the time I arrives to see the situation in another lenses…
Anyways good luck on your journey !

moonchild7994 · September 4, 2022, 10:58am

Going out to eat w sober friends/supportive people, going on nature walks and talking to my HP (Higher Power) or feeling out new places . Listening to positive uplifting music, coffee shops, anything you can build mastery with like art , knitting, guitar whatever you want to do . I like shopping too and cooking and baking celebrating different seasons (holidays) sober bonfires , working out

Jasty2 · September 4, 2022, 11:37am

The only activity that kinda gets my head right and that really isn’t a trigger for me is exercise. Everything else I feel like I’ve drank through at some point, so basically everything’s a trigger. Like you, I relapsed after 3 months and it got really bad and took me almost a year to get my shit back together. I know you can’t exercise 24 hours a day. But I just force myself to give 1 hour and if I still feel like drinking after that than I’ll deal with it. But I usually feel better after. Just try and find at least one thing you like and force yourself to do it when the bad cravings really hit. They seem horrible but they do pass pretty quick. Good luck bud.

Ray_M_C_Laren · September 4, 2022, 7:19pm

LeeHawk · September 4, 2022, 9:20pm

Definitely try to build a network of sober friends locally. I know you think everyone drinks there, but that’s not true. Local AA is a great place to start. Many use AA just for that reason alone.

ArdieB · September 4, 2022, 9:27pm

Hello from the states here. I love to crochet, garden and i get my hrand daughter. As mich as i possibly can. Bless you on your journey.

tmd · September 5, 2022, 1:06am

Puzzles!!! It was the only thing that could completely capture my focus. I’d put a podcast on and go to town on a puzzle until I got tired, then I’d go to sleep. It got to where I was completing 1000 piece puzzles every few days but I wasn’t drinking.