I’m wondering if anyone has any experience with/advice for being married to someone that is still drinking. I have been an alcoholic for years, and he has heard me say “I quit” many times, so I get he might not understand this time is different. I really feel like this time is THE time. It’s been 32 days, and that’s a personal record for me. My husband isn’t drinking in front of me or asking me if I want to drink, but I can still tell when he has been drinking. I understand that I have to accept that some people do drink, and don’t have my problem. I just feel sad/mad/jealous about it. Does it get any easier? Do I make a big deal out of it? I don’t want to avoid friends and family because of my personal struggles. Has anyone else been there? Any advice is much appreciated 
Hello, there was a new thread about this. All discussions,about this so far gathered in one. Im not sure if im.able to put the link here but ill try 
Answer to your question … If you finally surrender to alcohol then yes it will get easier. At first we like to criticize others as they continue an addict lifestyle while we are sober. If you work on yourself and see the positive changes you make while not drinkin and stick to it …things will get easier.
Thank you. You are 100% right! I didn’t realize how critical/petty I’ve been feeling about it until you said that. I am working on myself and hopefully my negative feelings will change. You really just opened my eyes. Thank you so much!
unfortunately i dont have any advice because i have the same exact problem you do. except mine does drink around me excessively and offers. but id like to read what other people have to say in response to your question. i hope things get easier for you <3 and you’re doing great!
For me, one of the many things I had to get past was the feeling that I was missing something …I guess I kept forgetting how shitty drinking was…how it ruined my self esteem, my health, my mind, my relationships, jobs, on and on. I was riddled with anxiety and despair when I was drinking. I was thinking a lot and often of killing myself. Yet somehow, I thought I was missing something by getting sober. Man, it was a beautiful day when I realized sobriety brought me so much more and expanded my life in so many ways.
But until I got healthy in my mind, I was bitter and angry and sad about my husband still drinking when I couldn’t. But the reality I had to really learn was that I am 100% responsible for my own sobriety. Not whether my husband drinks, or others drink around me, me…100% responsible. That was a real load off my mind once I got it. It doesn’t matter if he drinks…I am sober.
In the early days I spent a lot of time going to bed early, reading alone in the bedroom, out riding my bike or at a class. Anything to not be around drinking. It was hard, no lie, but once I fully got it, this time I was able to get and stay sober…regardless of my husband drinking.
It does get easier with time, at least it has for me.
Go to meetings or out to the gym or a class or take a walk or a bath. I had to learn to redirect my thoughts and self to other habits and things I enjoyed. Seriously, in the early it is best to avoid parties and family and such if they are drinking…build up some sober muscles before you put yourself in drinking situations.
Take a read thru some of the other threads in the links. People have lots of helpful suggestions. Living with and loving someone who drinks can be tricky, but if you love your spouse and your relationship is otherwise healthy and happy you can make it work and thrive. My husband is WAY more aware of his drinking now. Sobriety brings lots of changes to relationships…work together with love to move forward positively together.
Thank you! It definitely sucks, but I know we can do this. Hope this post/replies help you 
You are SO right! I have found myself redirecting my mind sometimes without even realizing it. Definitely doing alot more reading, which is something I really missed when I was drinking all the time. Thanks for the advice. I will definitely start using those ideas. I appreciate your time and input 
You are welcome!