So I have not consumed alcohol for 2 weeks. It seems much longer i’ll be honest.
I have recently lost my license due to drink driving (I know, what a selfish idiot I am) That is a mistake I will never ever repeat.
When I have too much to drink around the wrong people I can become verbally abusive and someone I hate.
At my previous Christmas meals I have had a drink and it’s always gone well. I always have a really good time and for some weird reason I become a really happy drunk. I do not understand this myself.
So I know most people at my christmas meal will be drinking. Most of them know about me losing my licence and have the impression I can’t handle drink from that.
I won’t be able to drink on this night out and I know i’m really going to be craving it. Even just one drink. Not sure what to do
Hope this makes sense and any advice or feedback would be great!
Welcome to the forum, and good for you! I’m glad you reached out on this question. The first thing that crossed my mind is that Christmas is 48 days from now, so worrying about it at this point really is “useless anxiety”. There is no planning to do yet, so you can relax.
Second, you cannot control what people think or feel or even what they do, in most cases. Take the time between now and then to get comfortable with sobriety and you will find it so simple to keep sober at the party that you will be astounded!
Blessings on your house as you begin your journey.
First off well done on those two weeks and making the decision to not repeat the same mistakes you’ve made before!
It is SO normal to be worried about situations where others will be drinking. It is hard to fathom how you will get through the things that alcohol has always been tied up with.
There are lots of threads with advice on how to handle these kind of situations, e.g.
It is also totally normal to want all the answers right away and to want a feeling of certainty over the futurw. But like @SinceIAwoke says, that’s a way off yet. And nothing is certain! Just focus on each day as it comes and with whatever else comes up in the meantime
My question is are you stopping because you want to? Or because other have the impression you can’t handle drink? Can you handle drink? Do you want to handle drink? I have 3 dwis so don’t say you learned from this one bc you probably didn’t and im not trying to sound mean when I say that, but alcoholics like us don’t tend to learn from are mistakes specially when we drink we tend to repeat then and blame others. Try switching I won’t be able to drink, to I get to not drink tonight and enjoy the moment with my family.
Welcome Kaitlyn! I’m glad you’re here. @siand posted some awesome links for you to utilize. Personally, I wish we could just fast forward to mid January to escape all the awkward holidays and parties but that ain’t how the universe works. I hope it goes well for you.
Congrats on your 2 weeks sober. I bet it feels like months.
I can’t stress this enough. One day at a time. For me anyway. It’s not easy in the beginning. I kept thinking how will I ever fly anywhere sober? How will I ever be able to go on vacations sober? How will I ever get through a pet dying sober? Etc…. And I always go back to. “I’m not drinking today. And I’m probably not drinking tomorrow.” I had these thoughts up until about 9 or 11 months of my sobriety. Sometimes driving me crazing, romanticizing about the drink on the plane or on vacation. It was a battle. But I would just keep thinking and saying to my self. “I’m not drinking today. And I’m probably not drinking tomorrow.”
Christmas is just around the corner. It could be very tough for you. I had almost a year sober before my first Christmas sober so it wasn’t so bad for me. But I only had 20 days on my 60th birthday. And I was able to do that sober. If you want sobriety you got to fight and protect your sober date and be selfish to it. You’re worth it. Right now it’s totally ok to be selfish for your sobriety. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks.
It took a DUI to get me into recovery over 2 years ago. Looking back now, it was the best thing that could have happened. I was given a second chance and I’m making the best of it.
I was about 3 months sober on my first Christmas. It wasn’t bad at all because I planned ahead. I let everyone know I wasn’t drinking and I brought my own. I also left early when the uncomfortable feelings came on.
Here’s a great topic recently posted by one of our long time forum members with some great advice on how to handle these situations.
I’m not being funny but I most certainly have leaned from drink driving. That is one lesson I will learn from. Thats not mean at all lol… That’s nothing. You don’t know me and you have no clue what a impact losing my license has done to me. Having 3 dwis is nothing to shout about either. if you don’t learn after your first time of losing your license that’s just plain stupidity
i’m not uncomfortable and I 100% will be going? I hardly go out why would I miss the chance of a night with my amazing workfriends. If you don’t answer politely don’t bother:)
If you interpreted my tone as rude, that was not my intention, I’m sorry that happened, I was just bluntly honest. You had asked for advice on an upcoming situation, I offered advice, which was don’t go if your not comfortable. As you just stated you are comfortable and going, so maybe I don’t understand what the issue is?
Personally i don’t believe anyone is trying to intentionally be rude to you here. We’ve all been in the early stages of sobriety so we understand being defensive and lashing out.
I also personally I believe living one day at a time and trying not to worry about a day weeks away is a great place to start. Who knows what will happen between now and then? I really do wish you the best. We win our sobriety 1 day at a time.
Oh trust me I don’t shout about, just using it to give guidance. I’m not happy, but that’s addiction once I drink I didn’t care if I got behind the wheel again, for me when I drink I lose all my inhibition and don’t even realize I’m doing stuff. And yes it took you gettint caught to learn your lesson.how many times before getting caught did you drink and drive? I always said I learned my lessons too, just was pointing out something. Good luck with your sobriety
Just reading this whole thread. My cousin got two DUI’s in high school. His second one was trying to get my brother home safe from a party because he was in a fight. Was this the smartest thing to do? Probably not. But in that moment he was trying to help him. Our mistakes (or the amount of them we make doesn’t define us) How we come back from them does. To this day my cousin is one of the kindest, most thoughtful, and emotionally intelligent humans I know. You should be proud that your standing up from your mistakes and that it has made you a more empathetic person who is willing to help others by sharing your missteps and what you learned from them
@kloo981 That’s just plain alcoholism. If I could have stopped drinking on logic alone, I would have. Who wants to lose their freedom and thousands of dollars? And repeatedly, even! Only those to whom the consequences are worth the satisfaction of the beast on their back.
We are here to help each other, we get torn down and judged by the straight world plenty enough. Blessings on your house .
as you begin your journey.
and im not trying to sound mean when I say that, but alcoholics like us don’t tend to learn from are mistakes specially when we drink we tend to repeat then and blame others. Try switching I won’t be able to drink, to I get to not drink tonight and enjoy the moment with my family.
