Hey everybody. I’m new here and have done a few AA meetings before but never spoke. I feel like this platform is good for my anxiety. I’m on day 1. I am an alcoholic. I’ve drank about everyday since I was 19 and a lot before in high school. Now I’m 26 and have my first child coming in February. Last year was my first attempt at rehab. I completed it and relapsed about a week later and never returned. My most recent attempt at sobriety was 5 days in September and that was hard. But I really am serious and want to do this to be a better man for my son and my wife. I wanted to share hopefully as more motivation to get myself to take this serious and hope this community can bring something new in my journey. Thanks for reading
7 Likes
Go back to AA it will make your journey easier , it made me a better man ,desire and effort wish you well
3 Likes
Welcome to the forum. I hope you will find something useful here for you. The daily check in thread is often helpful for people. You can check it out below.
This forum can be a good tool in your recovery toolbox, but it shouldn’t be the only tool. I know you said you are anxious and I would invite you to search this forum for some threads that interest you and start taking part. There are threads about animals, food, the out doors, etc. These are threads that will allow you to feel more comfortable and to meet people here.
There are information threads, there are threads where people have shared their stories. I would suggest you look at those as well.
I would also suggest, like @Ray_M_C_Laren, that you give AA another go. Allow that to be another tool. Try different groups, if possible. See where you feel more comfortable. Try online meetings. This community runs a couple of online meetings or you can do a search for other ones. I understand the terrifying anxiety that can come from these situations, from speaking up, but everyone in those meetings is there for the exact same purpose as you. These are the people who can understand what you are going through in a way that other people, no matter how much they care about you, cannot.
Let me ask you a question. Do you want to do this to be a better man for yourself as well? Your son and your wife, they matter, of course they do, but if you do not matter enough to do this for yourself, to simply be a better man, then you could be setting yourself up for failure.
Taking a drink doesn’t come out of nowhere. All of that starts with a thought in the back of the mind, and it might not be about drinking at all. There are thoughts–conscious and unconscious–that begin to run through our mind about our life, our job, our family, how worthless we are, etc., that create emotions. We start to feel things about those thoughts. Sometimes we store the emotions in a box, ignoring them, thinking they’ve gone away, but they haven’t. They’re still there, and they drive you to action. The action of going to buy something that we eventually drink (or use, in other people’s cases).
Another tool for you, a suggestion, would be to notice your thoughts for the next week. What thoughts run through you mind that maybe go unnoticed, but that may bring up thougths/urges of drinking. Let’s say you have thoughs about not being good enough. Really think about them, and argue against them. Are you Superman? Are you doing everything you can in a situation? Then that must be good enough, you must be good enough. That is just a very light example.
Work with those thoughts, try to make new ones, and really notice the emotions and urges that come out of them. If you are at a theater, and don’t like the movie, yelling at the screen doesn’t help that much in turning it off. If you go to the cause of the movie–the movie reel in the back–and turn that off, the effect (movie on the screen) turns off. But that, too, takes action and sometimes you need to learn how to do that action or get support.
That’s where AA comes in or therapy as well. There’s a good book called “Feeling Good” by David Burns that can help with changing your thoughts. It’s not about addiction, but if you’re looking for books on addicion, there are a lot of suggestions on this forum.
I know this is a long reply to your post, but I hope it is useful for you. You can do this. Try every angle you can. You will get there.
4 Likes
Welcome to the community!!
2 Likes
Not at all too long. I really appreciate every word and take it in seriously. Will definitely look into the book and also different ways to go about things. I do want it for myself as well as I think about it. I just think they are my biggest motivators in it all but you’re right I can only do it if I want to for my own good
3 Likes