I have being using meth on and off since I was about 22. I did month long “rehabs” over the years at least 7-8. My actual recovery I believe started at a small 12 bed rehab called Quin House in Victoria Australia. They ran a 3 month program and after that I was sober off meth for another 3ish months. As soon as I moved into an apartment and faced solitude I was making calls and sending texts to get on as soon as I could. That lead to a hellish month or so period of full on use. I dnno etiquette here but I was using 1-1.7 grams a day.
Anyway now it’s 5 months later with a short relapse that ended today. It was actually started several days ago but I found some residue and injected it today.
The biggest trauma in both relapses after rehab at Quin was that I stole from family to support my habit. This naturally also meant many lies had to be told.
I wasn’t even so disappointed I had used, I’m used to that feeling. But now in a sober mindset I’m faced with having destroyed the trust etc. I’d been rebuilding with family.
My mum who was my victim for funds has taken it extremely well, but I’m yet to talk to my siblings and I hold them in very high regard so I’m nervous.
But I really feel this is the end of me and meth perminantly. I’ve severed all contacts for gear and I just can’t see any more meth in my future as this feeling I have that I’ve told many lies and to their face and it’s the fkn worst feeling to process that when sober. When I was high I did whatever I needed for more but now sober I have so much family related healing to do and guck honestly what’s so great about meth. I get high for several hours and achieve nothing. I feel shit on the comedown, absolute rock bottom. Not to mention I now have developed a very easily manifested case of severe drug induced psychosis.
I just need to remember those few things next time I consider using cos the meth binges were fucking shit. I’d rather spend it on my daughter whom I’ll be able to see one day. If anyone reads this and thinks I’m overconfident please critique me because I’ll take any feedback to avoid another relapse.
Also off ciggies and alcohol for fair while too so now I’m totally clean.
Any replys etc. Be much appreciated as I don’t have many friends in the real world to discuss this stuff so I hope I can make some friends here 
